How To Seduce Her With Your Words

Most guys, when trying to impress a girl, will try to do something called "demonstrate value," or DV. When most folks DV, they try to show off through stories, presupposed skills, and other ways to try to get the girl thinking, "Wow, this guy is really impressive, I really like him!"

Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. For example, you think the fact that you're a pilot and you go skydiving in your spare time is something to behold. She may be totally bored with that.

So how do you increase your odds? Easy. All you've got to do is push her buttons.

No, not THOSE buttons! (At least not yet, anyway.)

I'm talking about her criteria. Things that are important to her. Things that make her think those special thoughts and go off in her mind imagining all those wonderful feelings. How do you create those? Do you walk up and command her in your authoritative voice to start thinking wonderful thoughts? Well, maybe if you'd like to see the inside of a jail cell.

Just start talking to her about anything. Find out what she likes. Ask her more follow up questions to get her talking more and more about her interests and experiences. Look for what are called "trance words." These are usually descriptive, kind of vague words, that she'll say with special emotional impact.

All you've got to do is remember what those words are, and feed them back to her later on. The reason this works so well is that when she says those words, she's imagining (usually subconsciously) all kinds of wonderful feelings. Instead of getting her to describe those feelings, just pay attention to those words.

Then later on, when you say those words, as similarly as she said them, she'll automatically (and again, unconsciously) recall those good feelings.

And guess what? Since you're the one saying those words, she'll start to associate those feelings with you!

Now, you've got to be a big subtle with this. You can't just walk up to an attractive woman and ask her to start describing her most exciting experience from her childhood. You've got to break the ice somehow, and just start talking conversationally about something. Then just look for clues within the conversation that you can naturally lead to more interesting topics.

You'll find that once you try this out, it's a lot easier than it sounds. Obviously, the more you practice this, the better you'll get at it. Before long, you'll be able to easily fire up any girl's imagination that you'd like!

How Do I Get Better With Women? Tips for You to Become the Man You Want to Be

Think back for a moment to when you were a little bit younger and looked at the world with optimism just a little bit more often. Back then, you probably figured that you had all of the chance in the world to attract a really beautiful woman. I remember back when I was a teenager and Tyra Banks was on the cover of Sports Illustrated, I totally believed that one day I would have a chance of attracting her or at least a woman that looked like her. You know what, though? You can lose that optimism really quickly and that is a shame.

If you want to get better with women, one of the things that you have to do is become optimistic about your chances for attracting beautiful women. Some say it's not realistic to think that way. Okay. Well, I'd rather be a little bit of a dreamer and actually approach beautiful women than to be the guy that just looks at them and thinks right away that you don't have a chance with a woman like that. So, that is one of the keys - to become optimistic about the idea that you can attract good looking women.

Here are some more tips that can help you become the man you want to be - the kind of guy who is good with women:

1. Make approaches right away so that you can fail fast and learn from those failures.

When I became dead set on the idea that I was going to be one of those guys who is just naturally good with women, I started making approaches. And some of them were pretty laughable. I remember this one time, I asked a woman at a club to dance - and she just turned back to her friends without even saying a word to me. Yep, I was left standing there, feeling kind of like a fool. However, that very same night, I approached another woman, this time with a little bit better of an approach and not only did we dance, I got her number. The funny thing was - she was hotter than the first one was. A lot hotter. That's the way that it goes sometimes - so don't be afraid to make approaches.

2. Learn how to become a story teller.

This is something that you can do right away. You can try this out with friends and co-workers. The goal is to become the kind of guy who tells a story that sucks people in right away. You know what I mean. You've seen people telling their friends about something and all of their friends are at total attention, listening to every word that the person is saying. When you can do that, you can use that skill on women you want to get with. You can become that guy they meet who is more interesting than anyone else that they have met in a long time. You might not become as cool as "The Most Interesting Guy in the World" (you know those commercials), but you can become the kind of guy who can ATTRACT and KEEP a woman's attention.

3. Have energy when you are with a woman.

Ever been around someone who is just lethargic and kind of boring to hang around? They don't really make you feel any excitement and if you are around them long enough - you either become just like them or you want to get away from them as soon as possible. That is one of the reasons why guys fail to attract women. They are boring. They are lethargic. Since she doesn't have to spend time with you, her reaction is to get away from you. That's not what you want her to feel like. You want her to FEEL EXCITED and FEEL TURNED ON by you. If you can make a woman feel that way - success is inevitable.

What Part of the Male Body Do Women Check Out?

A moment ago, I was asked one of the most commonly asked questions about physical attraction: What part of the male body are women most attracted to?

That just happens to be a very important concern. A man definitely needs to know what women find attractive, and how he should enhance his body if he wants to be appealing to the ladies. There's this general notion that only men like checking out women's bodies, but to tell you the truth, girls like looking at guys too.

You've probably heard about how visual the human male is - he's drawn to what his eyes find attractive, typically ladies with sexy hips and ample breasts. But mind you, being attracted to a woman's curves isn't just about physical magnetism; it actually has something to do with an evolutionary predisposition in every man to choose a suitable mate. Human males have an inborn instinct to prefer someone who seems the most capable of bearing and rearing children, that's why we're attracted to women with good-sized hips and breasts. Men aren't simply being enticed by what they see; they are subconsciously acknowledging what they need for the survival of the species.

Now, what about women? According to several surveys, ladies like looking at a man's butt, arms and shoulders. Once again, this isn't entirely a matter of physical attraction, but also of evolution. Because of their psychological and genetic makeup, women are instinctively drawn to men with a certain strength in his physique.

A firm butt, for example, sends the subconscious message that you can satisfy a woman in bed. A well-defined posterior is proof that you're someone adept at pushing harder. Likewise, a slack rear end tells a woman you're a sloppy lover who's lame in bed.

Arms with well-defined muscles address a woman's innate need to be protected. Despite how modern ladies may complain about how they can take care of themselves, they all have an innate desire to be treasured by the person they love. In other words, there's something deep inside of them what wants to feel secure and protected - that's why they're drawn to power. On top of that, I don't know any woman who wouldn't love being held in her man's strong arms.

Conversely, scrawny arms convey weakness; her mind processes this as "I can't ever feel safe with this person, he's not worth it". If you aren't the kind of guy she needs, she wouldn't bother wasting any time with you.

Lastly, firm, broad shoulders convey stability and strength of character. Women instinctively prefer a man who is dependable, diligent and can handle responsibility. Muscular shoulders are very attractive to a woman, because these give her the idea that you're a man she can count on. Meanwhile, feeble shoulders tell her that you're a lazy slacker, or the kind of guy who still depends on his mom and lets the female do all the hard work in the relationship.

Knowing all these should be enough incentive to get you to work out regularly. It's very important to be mindful of how you look, and to make an effort to be attractive. No lady is going to magically fall in love with you for no reason - you have to work on being the kind of man she will be attracted to.

A Guide to the Friend Zone When Dating

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Relationship Wisdom: Stonewalling Versus Criticising

In an intimate relationship there are common dynamics of interactions. One of them I deal with in couple clients is the stonewalling versus criticising dynamic. This dynamic is one that can become entrenched in a couple's engagement with each other and lead to severe dissatisfaction with the relationship.

What relationship research shows

Relationship expert Dr John Gottman, who researched couples for the past 40 years, has coined the term of the 'Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Relationships', which lead to marital disaster. Two of the four steps are criticism and stonewalling.

According to his research 85% of men are stonewallers where the majority of women are critics. Stonewalling means that the person disengages from the conversation, pretending to still be part of it by being physically present, but giving minimal verbal feedback. Energetically the person has already left the interaction.

The stonewalling-critic dynamic

Often when there is a critic (usually but not exclusively women) and a skilled stonewaller the dynamic quickly starts to run and leads into an unhealthy cycle where one role feeds the other.

The critic starts sending out messages, which might not even be criticism at the beginning. The stonewaller starts to engage as he is usually very sensitive to being criticised and hears any comment as critical. To avoid any further comments or interactions, he intensifies the 'dis-engagement'. This infuriates the critic as all she wants is for him to at least engage and say something. In this moment, the critic might up the ante and actually say something critical, just to get a reaction. At this point the stonewaller will shut down the interactions until the situation has cooled down again.

Influences of personalities

Depending on the personalities involved in this dynamic and how long it takes one or the other to cool down and whether and when they are ready to lead into repair mechanism this dynamic can either very quickly lead into a spiral downward to marital disaster or just be a repeated pattern of a relationship.

Especially when stress levels are up, it is more likely for this dynamic to endanger the relationship as none of the two might have much energy left to lend a hand and start to climb back up to martial harmony.

The way out of the dynamic

Depending on the level of self-awareness and reflection, a couple will easily be able to work together towards harmony. Often what it needs is the ability to allow vulnerability and openness to let each other in what is going on for each side of the dynamic. This especially requires the critic to let go or tone down criticism and for the stonewaller to be ready to engage and be open.

If you as a coupe encounter challenges when trying to repair, make sure to ask a trained and unbiased professional for help.

Dating Advice For Men - F Is for Friend Zone

Getting Stuck in the "Friend Zone" is the most frustrating phenomenon that happens to men when they are in pursuit of a special lady.

What is the friend zone?

The Friend Zone is not a physical destination, but sounds like it would be really fun!

It is what happens when you have a romantic interest in a particular woman and - BOOM - out of nowhere she says something like:

"Oh my Gosh, (your name)! You are the best friend ever!"

There are hundreds of variations but, each time, that sentence has that word in it. That word you do not want to hear. Yes, the "F" word - Friend.

From that point on you have been categorized. Ultimately those words stop your romantic pursuit dead in its tracks.Once you're categorized as a friend, it is very challenging to change her mind - Not impossible, just challenging.

How did you end up in the friend zone?

There are lots of reasons. Here are a few of the most common actions that lead men to the FZ.

1. Trying to Please Her - I know it sounds backward, but the more you try to please a woman the less interested she becomes in you over time. Human nature is, we want what we can't have.

2. Putting Her on a Pedestal - The mainstream belief is that the way to get her is by showering her with gifts and letting her know you are lucky that she gives you the time of day.

Garbage! That just makes you look desperate. Do you trust a salesman who seems desperate to make a sale? Women don't either. All you need to do is display that you are comfortable and confident around her, and if you do something like buying her a gift, it was because you wanted to not because you have to, or are trying to "get in her pants."

By all means - THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD TREAT HER IN A DEMEANING WAY OR MAKE HER FEEL BAD ABOUT HERSELF!

Many men take things from one extreme to the other. It is NOT OK to treat a woman like she is worthless. There is a fine line between putting her on a pedestal, treating her with respect (where she will treat you back with respect) and demeaning her.

You must find that line.

3. Being too Available - The perfectly wrong thing to do is change your own plans for the evening if she calls you.

The right thing to do - keep your plans and reschedule with her. It will let her see that you have interesting things happening in your life, and maybe she will become intrigued.

Learn More Here

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