Wednesday, July 11, 2012

How To Have Awesome Phone Conversations

If there's one thing that guys fear the most when it comes to Online Dating, it's that FIRST phone conversation.

Sure it's easy to write messages to women from the comfort of your own keyboard but you can't do that forever because eventually you MUST meet up with her in person.

Now, as I mentioned in other articles, there is a way to meet up with women without talking to them on the phone but there's always some girls who do want to chat before meeting in person.

That's OK... and it's nothing to fear!

You just need to be prepared when speaking on the phone and it's crucial that you follow all the "rules."

What are the secret "rules" for phone conversations with women?

Here's my list and make SURE you pay attention because if you don't, you'll screw it up and you WON'T be meeting her in person.

  1. Avoid Neediness! - This should go without saying but neediness will KILL attraction every time! Always avoid needy behavior by demonstrating you're a HIGH value guy. If she starts to suspect you don't have a lot of options and you're placing too much importance on her... it's game over!

  2. Phone Scheduling - Be sure you have an idea of her schedule and know the best times to call her so she'll ANSWER, eliminating the need to leave her a message. There are certain times in the evening that are IDEAL for placing calls because you know she will be home. Be sure and take advantage of that.

  3. Have a Script - Now I'd rather you NOT memorize an entire phone conversation and recite it like you're giving a speech once you get her on the phone. That would come off as fake, and it will make you too nervous. But it helps to have an idea of what you're going to talk about. Write up some notes if you have to... (Hey, even George Costanza did this with success.)

  4. Always Keep It Fun! - Make sure you keep the conversation light hearted and positive. Women are emotional creatures and WILL become MORE attracted to you if you make them laugh consistently! It's important to keep the positive momentum going that you had from emails. Did one of your messages really get her going?? Go back to that and use the same humor!

  5. Avoid buzz killers! - When chatting on the phone, you always want to avoid those "buzz killing" topics like ex-girlfriends, a bad day at work, a recent death in the family, what's wrong with the world, economy etc, politics... really anything bad that's happened recently. Remember, it's all about positive momentum and nobody likes a "buzz kill."

  6. Don't Talk Too Much! - That's right, if you're one of those that likes to talk about yourself all the time, try and curb it when talking to her on the phone. The ideal conversation is really about 75% her and 25% you. Now this will vary at times because of different personality types but you want to guide the conversation into fun positive directions and avoid dominating it.

  7. Be Busy On The Phone - What I mean by this is try and be involved in something while talking to her on the phone. You know how women ALWAYS do this to guys... well do it right back! Women will often be driving, shopping, working out or something similar while chatting with guys. Well, you can do the same by being on your computer, working in the garage, or whatever while talking to her. It keeps the energy level high and also contributes more to the conversation. It also helps to avoid those awkward silences.

  8. Keep It Short! - There's no need to have a first phone conversation go over fifteen minutes or so. In fact, even shorter is better. If you really hit it off then it's OK to go longer but typically you want to keep it brief. The best thing to do is get her laughing and then get off during a high point in the conversation. It takes some practice but once you perfect this art, you'll have a lot more success.

  9. Talk Slowly - What I mean by this is talk with confidence and swagger. In most cases, talking fast assumes nervousness and you want to avoid that. Talk like you're chatting with a friend.

  10. Know How To Leave a Message - Back before cell phones we had to worry about leaving messages on her machine every time we called her. Now we only need to do it once and that's after the first phone call. (This assumes you did not text her first.) When you do leave a message be sure it's quick, clear and to the point. Don't try and get cute as that will come off too "try hard."

Ok, there are your first phone conversation rules. Stick to them and you'll have her begging to meet you in person!!



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Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Let Go Of Emotional Baggage And Stop Feeling Emotionally Needy

Do you know that neediness is one of the greatest impediments to healthy and successful relationships? Do you know that the majority of people feel emotionally needy and they acquired this through early life conditioning that remains stored inside of them much like an old outdated computer program referred to as "emotional baggage"? Finally, do you know that is now possible to completely and permanently delete/erase this "emotional software" thereby restoring you to a whole, complete, emotionally independent, secure, self confident, capable adult? Want to learn more about how this might happen for you?

So how does one become needy and how can they be restored to a state of wholeness and emotional self sufficiency?

Well, let me start by saying that when you arrived here you were already whole and complete!

I know that many of you will find that hard to believe because that experience may feel totally unfamiliar to you.

Many of you have been led to believe that the reason you are feeling needy is because your parents failed to meet your needs for love, care, attention, validation, acceptance, understanding and so on and that they are somehow to blame for your current feelings of "deficiency".

As a result many of you continue to buy into the belief that there is a special someone out there who might be able to give you what your parents failed to supply you. This has led many of you to engage in relationships that might be referred to as "co-dependent" based on a hidden contract that goes something like:

"I'll fulfill your unmet needs if you fulfill mine".

When individuals feel they have found such a person and they agree to the contract they call this "falling in love". In fact all it is however is a contract of mutual exploitation and control. Does that sound like love to you?

Does it surprise you then that so many relationships built on such a premise fall apart so acrimoniously?

The wholeness that represented you at birth is often ignored and over ridden by the parent's need to meet their own unfulfilled needs. You simply became the vehicle/servant who was conceived to meet those needs.

In other words your true essence and purpose for being here was overridden by the need to please parents simply in order that you could survive your vulnerable baby and childhood years.
Unfortunately by the time you became a young adult you lost almost complete awareness of your essence and purpose and were so invested in playing out the expected roles thrust upon you that this left a deep feeling of emptiness inside.

That "emptiness" is a) responsible for all the feelings of neediness and b) is due to the "absence" of "You" in your mind/body and center of your life.

That emptiness can only be "filled in" by your restored presence. So how does that happen?

Well simply by deleting/erasing from your subconscious mind any/all roles and externally imprinted expectations that have nothing to do with you. These roles/expectations are laid down in the form of limiting negative beliefs and memories from early child hood i.e. what we commonly experience and refer to as "the emotional baggage"!

This erasure can now occur easily, effortlessly, permanently, and completely with a new coaching process developed a decade ago that is accessible to anyone who can read and write.

When one goes through this experience they find themselves returning to their Authentic Self which is an embodiment of feeling whole, emotionally self sufficient, complete, independent, secure, self confident, self assured, self respecting and mature to name a few.

In my view it is only from this place from within one's self that truly healthy relationships can emerge.

If you would like to stop feeling emotionally needy then kindly go the web site below where you can request a free introductory telephone/Skype coaching consultation that will begin to help you on your way to wholeness and successful relationships today.

Monday, July 9, 2012

7 Surefire Ways To Boost Your Dating Life

If you have been through a divorce or a recent relationship break-up, or you have been single for sometime, you might find that your dating skills are a bit rusty and in need of an up-date.

When you're single, it's very easy to become despondent and believe that that you will never meet anyone special. However, wherever you live and whatever age-group you're in, you can be sure that there are plenty of other people in a similar position to you, many of whom would just love to meet you.

Here are 7 surefire strategies which will boost your dating life and help you find love fast:

1. Make A Plan
Schedule dating into your life. Just as you would schedule business appointments into your diary, schedule a couple of events every week to go out and socialise, mix and meet new people. Don't just leave things to chance. Your ideal partner is unlikely to just fall into your lap, so be pro-active. Plan your social diary weeks in advance. But don't just leave it at that. Keep your eyes open for everyday opportunities to connect with interesting, new people whether it be on your way to work, to buy lunch or to go shopping. You'll soon notice that potential boyfriend and girlfriend material is everywhere!

2. Decide What You Want - Then Ignore It
Write down on a piece of paper exactly the criteria you are searching for in a partner. Include appearance, age, employment situation plus personal qualities and values. If you have a clear idea of what you want, you are more likely to notice it when you see it.

However, once you've done this, file it away and ignore it! Subconsciously you will notice people who fit your criteria, but then also give other people a chance. You might just surprise yourself and find your ideal partner dressed-up in a different 'package'.

3. Work Out Your Deal-Breakers
Also spend time writing down exactly what you don't want in a partner - those qualities that you will just not put-up with. You might want to steer clear of anyone who has a history of physical abuse, addiction, money problems or a criminal background etc. File this list away and when you eventually get into a relationship, check-off your new partner against this list in the cold light of day. This will prevent you getting carried away by the passion of the moment and making concessions which will inevitably lead to disaster.

4. Love Yourself First
Before you start-out looking for someone else, have an affair with yourself! Treat, appreciate and show affection to yourself as you would to a prospective new partner. Notice whenever your internal chatter tries to criticize, berate or insult you and tell it firmly to stop. You set the standard by which other people will treat you, so if you are bad to yourself, you will subconsciously train other people to treat you the same way. If necessary, seek professional expertise to help you boost your self-esteem.

5. Do Some 'Home-Staging'
Just as you would repair and spruce-up your home if you were going to sell it, do the same for yourself. Ask a trusted friend what you can do to improve your appearance, attitude and general attractiveness to potential suitors and make a concerted effort to make some practical improvements. The better your improvements, the more suitors you will attract.

6. Become Someone Worth Meeting
Just as you want to meet someone special and interesting, so do your potential partners. Start doing more of the things you enjoy. By pursuing your passion in photography, rock-climbing or salsa dancing etc., you will not only make yourself happier, but you will also become a lot more interesting and attractive. You might even find someone who shares your passion and so have a solid basis for your relationship.

7. Muster Your Resources
Now that you are ready to pro-actively start looking for that special someone, enlist the help of your trusted friends, family and colleagues and ask for their support to help you find your future partner. You never know who they might know or who they could introduce you to.

Also find a couple of other single friends to go out and socialise with. Not only will they strengthen your resolve and provide you with strong morale support, but they will also help you relax and have more fun, thus showing you off at your most attractive.

With some clever dating strategies like these, it will not be long before you are dating someone special again.



This article is sponsored by medical case study.

How To Know If Your Date Has Romantic Feelings

You're getting ready for your first date tonight with the guy of your dreams. You hope he's everything you expected from what you saw on his profile. Most dates were duds, but this one seemed different. You are looking for a romantic relationship and his profile says he is too.

Excitement is climbing and you can't wait to meet him. Worry sets in wondering if he'll like you or turn away because you think you're not pretty or sexy enough, the way you walk, will you blow the conversation or will you both like the same hobbies.

Being yourself is the best way for your date to like you. When you pretend you're something you're not, your date can sense that. The true you shines through and he can see that. So now you've met him and you are nuts about him, but he hasn't said a word about how good you look or how nice you are.

Some guys are shy and afraid to comment thinking you may take offense to their niceness. He calls you a few days later and asks you out for a second date and you are over the moon. He shows you a great time and the next day sends you flowers and asks you out again.

He is calling you every night, sending sweet text messages and giving you nice gifts. Now that you've been seeing him for a few months, he doesn't want to be away from you. He's coming to your apartment every other night and on the week-ends, so you're wondering if he wants a relationship with you.

His actions show he has romantic feelings for you. If you are concerned because he hasn't said anything, it's nothing to worry about because actions speak louder than words. He will get around to telling you how he feels in his own way when he's ready.

There are guys that fear the girl will walk away not wanting to get serious. It's best to let him know how you feel and the words will usually come out. He wants you to meet his parents and friends and he makes you the center of attention.

He wants you to get involved in the family gatherings, which should tell you something. He's serious about you and it sounds like a possible marriage in the near future. He shows you respect, puts you first in his life, looks out for your welfare and makes sure you are safe. That's usually a sign of love. When you meet someone like that, you need to grab on because he will give you a great happy life. The tips in this article are signs on how to know if your date has dating.com/">romantic feelings for you.

How Can I Make Him Crazy About Me?

Have you fallen helplessly in love with a guy and are trying to figure out how to make him crazy about you? This is a common thought for women when we have found who we think is Mr. Right. We want him to feel the same way towards us but are not sure what to do so we hope for the best. If you want him to love you it is going to depend on how you are around him. It will take learning how to treat him in specific ways that will increase his desire in you.

So if you want to make your boyfriend crazy about you it is going to come down to the interaction between the two of you. It would be normal for you to want to go out of your way to make his life easier. This could be catering to his every need which on the outside looks great but in reality it is not a good idea. Catering to him this way can make your man think less of you and possibly turn him away, the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.

If you tend to give too much of yourself early in your relationship, your boyfriend may see you as looking desperate. Do not over do it, hold back from trying to do so much hoping he will love you more for it. Just relax and do not try so hard because you can actually have better results this way.

The saying absence makes the heart grow fonder is true. If you try to be around your boyfriend as much as possible you may be making it worse for you. Let him miss you as this is when a guy can actually start to fall in love. Those times when you are not around will have him thinking about you and missing you. If you spend time with your other friends and your family so you do not look possessive of him, then those times when you are together will be more special.

The same goes for phone calls. If you keep calling him it may annoy him to the point he backs off from you. You do not want to appear as if you are pursuing him. Your best bet is let him call you. He may not call you as much as you would like but in the long run it's best for you. This way he will fall in love with you naturally without obviously being pressured by you.

These tips may all seem contrary to what you think should be done. But follow the advice that has already been proven to work for others and you will be more successful.



This article is brought to you by MATCH.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Laws of Attraction With Regards to Dating

In many cases, there are a good number of individuals in the dating world who are curious to know what exactly they can do in terms of attracting someone they are interested in. Most people will sit and wonder why they are not in an immediate relationship with anybody. Some will sit and wonder what exactly it is that they are doing wrong and will work relentlessly to try to correct it.

Attraction plays an integral role with regards to finding that special someone in your life and most people fortunately are aware of this. A good example of what sets off an indicator of interest as far as attraction is the type of vibe that you may be sending out to the other person. Setting off good vibes is a good indicator to other folks of how exactly things may be progressing in your life.

It can be reassuring to be truly in love with that one special person whom you believe may be the "one".

However, as experience dictates that if that same person does not display the same sort of attraction then it can be a safe bet that this individual of interest cannot be the "one". Case in point, if there were in fact a sort of mutual relation and instinctive attraction between both people, then the result would have been the individuals attaining their relationship goals and they would both would conclusively be satisfied.

This essentially means one of a couple of things; just the thought of this particular individual having any sort of attraction to you can be both euphoric and exciting on many levels. Just the mere notion of being with this person who has all of the features or physical traits that attracted you to them in the first place can be a wonderful feeling.

However, it can be quite easy once you have met this particular individual of whom you have confirmed has met the basic qualifications to be your ideal mate to become frustrated to find out that attraction between two people cannot unfortunately always be mutual.

The other person's interests may not be entirely the same as yours and quite simply they may be looking for something completely different in terms of attractive quality than you might be. In other words their particular wants and needs in terms of attraction to their ideal mate is something that is completely different and may have an entirely different set of goals to achieve.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

The Exciting World of Online Dating

The world of online dating has never been more popular than at the moment. It has managed to reach out to a wide range of users, across countries, races, languages and cultures. While many people have the most romantic and beautiful stories to tell about themselves and their quest to find that one special person, there are just as many who have met with disappointment. So one can say online dating does mirror real life dating in many ways.

While the debate over which form of dating is better and safer continues, it is hard to ignore the obvious and vital positives of online dating. With online dating, you can screen a potential list of matches according to your preferences or likes and dislikes, which is almost impossible in real life.

And if you happen to like more than one person, you can always exchange messages and views to determine the right person for you, a practice known as two-timing in real world. Jokes apart, some other benefits include knowing a bit about your interest and his or her likes and dislikes, which more often than not prove instant ice-breakers and great conversation material. All this you can take care of either sitting at home, a café or even a park, as and when you can take time off. Surely a luxury the real world dating scenario can't offer under any circumstances.

Lest you think online dating is a world full of roses of all hues, let me add it has its share of scammers and deceitful people. These are the people who are in it just for the money. But if you think of these as isolated instances and are careful enough while dealing with people over the internet, then a world full of amazing possibilities is open for you. Most dating websites today pay great detail to the needs and particulars of their users. While some of these sites may charge a premium to let users access their database, there are many that provide the user with access to their database free of cost.

These online dating websites have precise search options which lets the user browse through requirements like age, sex, sexual orientation, relationship status, relationship history, currently looking out for and many more. Searches can also be refined by location, distance from user's place, hobbies, reading habits, TV preferences and many more.

As has been mentioned throughout this post, online dating is a boon for people in today's fast and hectic world. On the benchmarks of ease of use, choice, matchmaking and saving of time, online dating scores a perfect ten. For people who have been yearning for that perfect companionship, love and passion in their lives; enrol yourselves today with an online dating website. And get working on that profile pronto.



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