Pre-Dating: 5 Great First Dates to Go On

These dating tips will help if you are meeting a new person for the first time. Using what I call the pre-date strategy, you can see if there is any connection without investing the whole day or evening with a new acquaintance.

Commit to a one-hour activity, and if you enjoy one another, you can stay longer or ask for another date! Here are some good icebreaker dates with a low cost of time and money with an easy exit strategy in case things do not work out well.

1. Out for Ice Cream: going to your favorite ice cream shop or creamery is a good opener. The atmosphere is casual, and you can usually find a table for two inside or outside, depending on your area and the weather. Try a couple of different flavors and enjoy the experience. Getting to know each others likes and dislikes, and having light conversation is a nice opener.

2. Coffee Talk: Coffee and tea have been the centerpiece for socializing for centuries. Some topics could be asking the other person what they are interested in, discussing travels, where you have been and where you would like to go in the future.

3. Walk by Water: Taking a walk is a nice easy way to get to know one another. If you live by a pond, a lake, or an ocean, agree to meet at a certain place for a walk. It is best if it a public area, for safety reasons. A public beach or park is good for a walk. Sharing about your careers, or interesting experiences you have had in, around or around the water with family or friends is another way you can connect. If you enjoy your time, you can plan something else to do by the water in the near future.

4. Farmer's Market: Farmer's markets are very trendy right now. Scouting for organic produce, people watching, and tasting some juicy fruit can be a great deal of fun. Sharing some time together with easy breezy conversation is a good way to get to know each other. plus, you can take some fresh groceries to take home with you.

5. Sightseeing Tour: Going on a sight-seeing tour by bus, boat or on foot is one of the ways to get to know each other and your city. Being a tourist in your own town is a great deal of fun. Whether you are seeing historic homes, lush gardens or other sites worth seeing such as the mountains, or other natural wonders is a great way to get to know each other. Tours that are time limited, an hour or so are ideal.

These pre-dates are a great prelude to a longer date or another date. Also, you have an easy escape plan if the person is not for you, or if the chemistry is off. Making a small investment of time rather than dragging out an unwanted first date. The other benefit is that a date like this does not create an expectation of a kiss or more intimate activities.

If things do click between you, then you can both find time for a longer date and to spend more time getting to know each other.

How To Get Your Ex Back Even If They're Stubborn

The problem with ex's is that you can't easily get them out of your mind or even your heart for that matter. But some people have distorted (or perhaps unusual) views about getting back with their ex's. Others might just kick them to the kerb and are not willing to give their partners a second chance. And there are some people who have a weird feeling about spending more time with somebody who had once broke their hearts. So, how are you supposed get this kind of a person back?

Here are some effective ways on how to get your ex back no matter how stubborn he or she might be:

1. Appeal to the heart

Let your heart speak directly to his heart. Sometimes, you don't need words to tell anybody how much you love them. You can communicate it and they would feel it somehow. Your ex certainly would if they were ever in tune with you at all during your relationship. This is a trick that can be a little too hard to master. But with your ex partner, you'll know how to do it in a way.

2. Avoid all the lies

Lies have no place in a relationship. So be sure when you open your mouth to speak, there will be only truth in your words. Tell your ex exactly how you feel. Doing so may make not always make you look good but it's a card that's worth playing if you want any future relationship to be on a firm and solid footing.

3. Don't give yourself false hopes

Nobody said that it is easy to revive a past relationship. Even the best-selling books on how to get your ex back can't give you a 100% guarantee that their tips would work for a particular set of circumstances. A lot of it will depend on how much your ex really loves you and how much sacrifice and forgiveness you're willing to make.

4. Look for the signs

You'll know if your ex still loves you if you catch him or her looking at you in that old way that they used to, although they won't be quick to admit it. He still cares if he is concerned about your usual affairs and goings on. Furthermore, he still loves you if he hates you. After all, you can't hate somebody you don't have any feeling towards with, can you?

What to Do If Guys Don't Like You

If you are a woman who is having a hard time with trying to find men then the odds are very good you might be doing something that is clearly turning them off from you. You have to think about the reasons why guys might not like you. This is needed so you might have a better chance with actually improving yourself so guys will be more interested in you after a while.

First, you have to start by being a little less conscious about your appearance. Many men who don't like you often say this because they feel you might be taking too long with getting ready for going places. Women who spend too much time preparing themselves for events are ones that just suck out the time from a man's life.

You have to focus on conserving your time and focusing more on being with a man while avoiding the need to get yourself prepared with too many extracurricular activities. This is a necessity so you might have an easier time with keeping your body running right.

Also, you need to concentrate on how you look when you smile. You need to smile with your eyes crinkling a bit. Men often don't like women who look too serious when they are trying to look happy. A woman whose eyes crinkle a bit will be more likely to be someone who is easier to trust in.

You may also want to take a look at how your waist is arranged. You might want to focus on losing fat and weight around the waist so you can get your hips to become a little more defined. Guys often don't like women who don't have their hips defined because these women tend to have unappealing shapes. Also, a woman who has a good hourglass figure might be more fertile. That is something that might work for your needs for attracting men.

You also need to think about what's fake around your body. Sometimes guys don't like women who have too many fake things around their bodies. These include fake hair extensions, lashes and other stuff. Guys won't like you if you have too many fake things because it suggests to them that you are a high-maintenance person. This is one of the last things that a man is going to want out of a woman in particular.

Finally, you need to think about how men might not like you if your eyes look unusual. Men just don't like to be distracted by eyes that look too unappealing. You can use a more controlled approach to eye makeup to keep this from being a hassle so a man won't be likely to feel bothered by your eyes.

You should make sure you do all these ideas if you want guys to like you. It might be easier for you to keep yourself going strong in relationships with other men if you are aware of what you could be doing to get yourself in touch with all of these people.

Dating Online - Are Free Dating Sites Worth the Trouble?

Online dating websites, like many things on the Internet, are usually run as businesses - organisations, or individuals, provide a service and take a fee for that service. Fair enough. But what about those sites that don't charge fees? Can they really provide the same quality of service as the bigger companies?

First of all, let's think about what "free" actually means. For one thing, a huge amount of dating site advertising claims that their particular site is free, but when you sign up, they very quickly direct you to an upgrade page. Usually, of course, eagle-eyed readers will notice the tell-tale phrases that should give the game away:

• Free-to-join!
• Free to search!
• Review your matches for free!

All of which mean that you will, at some point, have to pay if you want to use their facilities.

Some sites though, will go so far as to declare that they are "completely free" or have "no hidden charges" and then when you've signed up and looked at a few profiles and want to make contact with someone, you'll get a little message pointing out that to send emails you do actually have to be a fee-paying member. Thankfully, these unscrupulous renegades are in the minority, so for the sake of clarity let's assume that when we talk about free dating sites, we do mean completely free of any charges whatsoever. Okay.

Quality Dating

So how can a free dating site provide good quality service? Probably the only way they're going to be able to do that successfully, is if they have money coming in to support their technical needs, web-hosting and server costs, not to mention staffing. There are some sites that are run by enthusiastic individuals who simply build dating websites to fill a particular niche that interests them, and these tend to be quite small with hundreds or thousands, rather than million, of members. Women Behind Bars, for example (although not completely free) is run by a chap who is clearly trying to offer a service for American women in jail who have no other way of building relationships with men on the outside.

Such small enterprises, because they are often run on a part-time basis, can be poorly organised, have very simple design and navigation tools and in some cases, are only updated two or three times a month. So, leaving the small fry aside, how do the rest of the free sites make money?

Affiliate Advertising

There's a huge market for advertising goods and services on the Internet, and in recent years a great many companies have emerged who coordinate affiliate advertising. How does this work? Well, let's say that wee Angus McTartan has a website about Scottish traditional dress and culture. He can approach companies like Commission Junction and Affiliate Windows and apply to join the campaigns of several advertisers whose products or services relate to his particular niche. Angus can then display adverts on his own site, with links back to those organisations, so when customers click on one of his ads, or sign up for a product or service, a small percentage of the earnings will arrive on his proverbial doormat. He can also sign up with individual companies who may not need the services of a huge company to organise their adverts.

The successful free dating sites then, make money by displaying adverts on their sites. The style of these can range from the quite subtle to the luridly over-the-top, and in some cases interfere with the layout of the website. preventing would-be daters from getting the most out of their online experience. Obviously the more visitors a site has, the greater chance there is that people will click on the ads, so it's in the interests of the owner to create a user-friendly experience, with plenty to see and do, as well as plenty of good quality profiles.

The effectiveness of any dating site is reliant on having enough profiles to keep new members interested. So if you're interested in a free dating site, where's the best place to look?

Here's a selection of some of my favourite free dating sites to get you started:

Meet Your Greens: niche site for vegetarians, earth mothers and anyone interested in saving the planet. Actually you don't need to be a badge-wearing eco-warrior to join, but with a strong community feel, you'll maybe get a more fulfilling experience here than with many of its competitors.

Honey Contacts: This one is for Russian daters and has a clear layout and good quality profile photos. Not much point joining if you don't live in Russia, but a very nice site anyway.

Zyngle: relatively new addition to the matchmaking scene that has a refreshing design and is easy to use. It's also free from all the paraphernalia that most dating sites tag on to keep people coming back, and means that dating is top of the agenda.

Oasis: these guys have been around for quite a while and with more than nine million members, are at the top of their game. It's also pretty busy and at any one time you'll find several thousand members online.

Smooch: This one isn't completely free, as there as extras to be had by upgrading, but you can certainly use it very successfully without paying a penny.

Whichever one you go for, bear in mind the small print: as always, if you don't read it, you might find you've signed up for something a little bit different to what you expected. As Sergeant Phil Esterhaus used to say "let's be careful out there."

What Is Shyness and Why Are Some Men Shy Around Women?

Do you struggle to talk to women? If you find your face goes three shades of red and your normal voice turns to a stammering mess, you could be painfully shy around women! This can be a big barrier to meeting and dating women, so if you have been struggling to make a love connection it is time that your understood more about shyness and better yet how to overcome it.

What is shyness?

Shyness is that uncomfortable feeling you get when you approach or are approached by new people. The level of anxiety will differ from one person to the next, and in some cases, it can become debilitating. Generally, shyness is a mere personality trait, which can lead to difficulty finding a date but otherwise it does not affect day-to-day life.

Causes

What exactly causes one person to be painfully shy while others exude confidence and love to be a part of the social scene? Scientists and researchers have not nailed down an exact cause of shyness; however, they do have some interesting hypotheses. Some evidence suggests that shyness is at least partially genetic and directly related to fear and it has been noted that children who are more fearful tend to grow up to be shy adults. Of course, environment and raising are also factors in whether a person will be shy, or not.

Social Phobia

It is important to note that there is a difference between being shy and suffering from social phobias. In extreme cases, social anxiety becomes so severe a person may find themselves afraid to leave their home. This disorder is known as agoraphobia and is the most extreme of the anxiety spectrum.

Shy or Introverted?

Another common misconception is mistaking introversion for shyness. An introvert does not avoid social interaction due to fear or anxiety, but instead because they prefer their own company. Introverts tend to become energized by time spent alone, but become drained by social interactions. Some introverts may also be shy, but introversion and shyness are not interchangeable.

Men and Women

As you can see, being overly shy can cause a multitude of problems, not the least of which is difficulty finding a date. If you experience anxiety and fear every time you meet someone new, it is going to be very hard for you to work up the courage to ask a woman out on a date. Thankfully, there are ways to work on overcoming your social anxiety.

Defeating shyness is a process and depending on your level of anxiety it could be a long process, but well worth the trouble. Start by pushing the limits of your comfort zone, gently at first. Make it a goal to meet at least one new person by the end of the week, for example. The next time you are faced with an awkward social situation, attempt to push through the fear and initiate a conversation. It is also important to work on your self-confidence levels; this may mean initiating some self-improvement efforts.

Conclusion

Why are some men shy around women and others exude confidence? This personality trait is shaped by a variety of influences, not the least of which is your childhood and genetic makeup. All this does not mean, however, that you are condemned to a lifetime struggle; you can overcome shyness with just a little time and effort. Of course, if you are struggling with severe social anxiety or phobias you will want to consult a professional who can assess your anxiety levels and discuss with you the best treatment options.

Top Tips After a Break-Up - Be Honest at Work

During times of emotional upset it can be surprising just how many people seem willing to help out. You may feel too proud to accept every offer that comes your way but there's usually no proper reason to refuse.

If people care enough to put themselves out for you - at a time when you actually need their help - then what could be better?

Friends and Family
Friends and family will often be the first option for many types of help that you need after a break up.

Shoulders to cry on
This is the most obvious type of support you might need. Even if you're not actually crying, your friends and family can help you make sense of your feelings and cheer you up when you're feeling low.

Baby sitters
With your partner no longer around it's possible you'll need help with the children. This could be full on babysitting, or it could just be picking them up from school on the night you work late. Even if your friends or family members can't do this, they may know a good baby sitter who can.

Searching for a new home
If you need to relocate, ask your friends to keep their eyes peeled for suitable properties and get someone to view them with you if possible. You may not feel able to trust your own judgement with such a big decision so ask someone you trust to help you decide.

Paying bills
You may find that your parents or other relatives are able to offer some financial support to help with the cost of moving home or childcare. This may be in the form of a gift, or a no-interest loan. Either way - accept if you genuinely need it and show your gratitude appropriately.

DIY
Putting together flat packs and lugging heavy deliveries usually require more than one person. Even if you're proficient at DIY you may find the occasional job needs a second pair of hands that your partner would previously have provided.

Professional Assistance
Depending on your marital and financial status you may require some help from the Citizens Advice Bureau, a family solicitor, or your bank. Search online for contact details and ask friends or relatives if they can recommend a solicitor, or other professional who may be able to help.

Time off or restricted duties at work
It's a good idea to let your employer know when you're going through a serious break up. You may need to take time off work to get over the shock, or to help you find a new home.

You may also want to ask about getting a temporary change or restriction of duties. For example, if you're struggling not to cry it's probably not a good idea to put you on reception or in charge of answering the phone. Find out if some adjustments can be made for a few days while you get back to being (almost) your normal self.

Sexual Escalation: Everything You Need to Know

How do you know when to push for more than a good night kiss? More to the point how can you get a woman prepared to give the answer you are desperately hoping for? Once you have mastered the art of picking up gorgeous women and have no trouble getting a date it is time to take things to the next level by learning how and when to use sexual escalation.

Create Tension

Are you constantly asking yourself how to get things moving along a bit faster? After all your dates go fantastic, but at the end of the night, you go your separate ways! The key to sexual escalation is to create tension. It will be your job to build a decided undercurrent during dinner or over a drink, and there are many different ways to do just that, as you will see in a moment. First rule of engagement is to remain as covert as possible.

Suggestions

How can you expect a woman to desire you if you never plant the idea in her head? If you want to really ramp up sexual tension make some sexual references! When the opportunity presents look her straight in the eye and say, "you want me, don't you?" If you are not quite ready to be so direct (and risk rejection), start with more general but sexually charged conversation. Point out a couple on the dance floor and comment that you had heard women equate good dancing skills with prowess in the bedroom, then ask her what she thinks.

Kissing

If all is going well you should have a couple good opportunities to go in for the kiss. Keep in mind this doesn't have to be a full on frontal assault, in fact a gentle kiss on the forehead at the right moment can go a long way toward sexual escalation. Another option is going in for a cheek kiss, not necessarily for the kiss itself but to gauge her reaction. If she immediately turns away or places some distance between you there is little chance you are going any further, however there is a good chance she will lean into the kiss or even turn slightly to offer your lips!

Physical Gestures

Other than kissing what other ways, can you find to introduce physical touch? Nothing works faster toward sexual escalation! Keep in mind a bit of titillating touch is not the same as pawing your date! Think less is more and work at turning up the heat with eye contact and sexual suggestion. Use your hands to punctuate the conversation, touch the back of her hand to make a point while looking directly in her eyes. During close intimate moments tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear, lingering ever so slightly on her neck or guide her from drinks to dinner with a hand at the small of her back (considered an erogenous zone).

Conclusion

Can you move a standard date to the next level with sexual escalation? In most cases yes, but that means there are situations where none of the above are going to work. For the best possible results, you must learn to read her cues. Is she exhibiting signs that she is attracted to you physically? Does her gaze linger just a bit longer than average? Is she smiling a lot and returning your physical touch? When her hands linger or she is leaning into your touch, there is a better than average chance she would like to do a little escalating of her own! Read the cues, drop the hints and above all act on what you discover.