Stop Fighting Failure and Understand It is Part of the Process
If you're going to ever start dating beautiful women than you are going to have to become comfortable with rejection. In fact, I would argue if you ever want to be successful at anything you will have to build up a strong tolerance for failure. This is because failure demonstrates that you pushed yourself to your own mental or physical boundaries and if you want to improve what you are doing then you are going to have to get used to failing regularly. Unfortunately, most people are too meek when it comes to even the thought of failure. They let these rejections crush their spirits, even when they might so close to finally reaching success.
Make Sure You Have An Incentive to Fail Now I know it is easy to tell people that they just need to be able to fail more often but I know it isn't exactly realistic. I know how paralyzing even just the thought of rejection can be but trust me when I tell you that you can overcome it. When you do overcome your fears the world will suddenly become much more simple and suddenly any thoughts of dating beautiful women will not seem so difficult.
What you need to do is to first make action or even failure itself a success. Stop thinking so narrowly and defining success as getting the phone number from a beautiful woman. To accomplish that not only takes a hefty amount of mental effort but also the help of some friends. So when I was scared to death of approaching, I told my friend that I would take him to red lobster if by the end of the month I hadn't gotten rejected by over one hundred women. Now maybe a crappy dinner at Red Lobster doesn't sound like much to you but I was a broke college kid at the time and that would of gone right on the credit card.
You Have to Force Fear out of Your System First realize a few key points.
One, I set a definite and short amount of time before the deal would expire. If you are trying to get over rejection, you will have to force that fear out of your system. Getting rejected once a month isn't going to do anything for you. You need to force your body, mind, and soul to realize that rejection is harmless and isn't worth getting all worked up over. In this case, I only had a month to obtain one-hundred rejections. Another to note is that the amount of rejections that I had to collect was sizable. If you only set out to get a couple rejections you'll never get over the hump when things become natural.
Stop Over-thinking Things and Start Acting
For example, the first time I made a cold approach in my quest to date beautiful women, it took me almost five minutes to gather the nerve. I was in one of those god forsaken malls and I spotted her in line to get a sandwich. I kept pacing back and forth. Sweat poured down my face and I thought I would never have the nerve to do it. See one of the first mistakes I made and other amateurs will do is over thinking the situation. When you see someone you are interested in don't hesitate in your approach. Make your move immediately or you will work yourself up.
You will begin to doubt yourself and whether or not you are good enough. You will start imagining yourself being rejected and will feel it is inevitable and that you will make an ass out of yourself in the public space.
Stop right now. When you act immediately, you don't have time to become self conscious and trust me your approaches will begin to happen, i.e you'll stop chickening out, and you'll also become more successful.
Because I over thought everything, I almost never made that first approach. When I finally did reach her table (thank god she was alone) I made a complete fool out of myself. I introduced myself and began to mumble and fumble around like a fish on dry land for about five minutes before she excused herself. The funny thing is after that encounter I felt much better. Despite my terrible first attempt, it started to sink in that it wasn't really all that bad. In fact, I had a pretty funny story to tell my buddies that night.
Strength Is In The Numbers
That wasn't the entire story of course, I ended approaching about ten more girls that day and truthfully most of them looked liked the first but I was getting leaps and bounds better. I was starting to control my breathing and I was becoming less concerned about the outcome.
Despite my progress it was going to take more time before I got a number. In fact, the first girls number I got was in a grocery store and I can still remember the number till this day. It was number 32. To honest, I was shocked when she happily gave me her number. I didn't know what to do at that point.
Then like hitting a waterfall I began to collect girls numbers on a more steady basis. I was becoming cool, confident, and collected. It didn't matter what they said anymore. They were just another number, in fact because I needed to collect one-hundred rejections to get my money back, they were doing me a favor by turning me down.
In the end, I got my money back what's more important I finally realized how powerful self limitations can be and how badly we can sabotage ourselves from getting what we really want. To succeed in life you have to be willing to make some tough choices and risk making a fool out of yourself. Do that and I promise you will be ahead of most men, in fact, most people when it comes to accomplishing anything.
To have better luck with women you need to learn to accept failure as part of the learning process. The best way to do that is by giving yourself an incentive to fail. (i.e A bet to your buddy where you need to fail to get your money back or something else.) Track your rejections and celebrate them. As you make your approach try to turn off your mind to everything that could happen and just let things happen for once. If you hesitate you will over think things, and you will make things harder on yourself.
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