If he seems like the type of guy who has had more than his fair share of flings, or if you just have accidentally become a guy's fling one too many times, (or both), then you no doubt want to know how this can best be avoided.
Here's some tips that can help you out:
Take Your Time
Give off the impression that you are not in a rush and also do not appreciate being rushed when it comes to spending time together and dating. If he realizes these things and still wants to pursue you, then that's a good sign that he is not viewing you as fling-material.
Don't Sleep With Him For a While
The very best thing you can do if you are attempting to avoid becoming just another fling is to make him wait for sex and not give in for a long stretch of time.
No matter how he may try and pressure you or no matter how much you may want it, don't give in to those baser instincts and sleep with him until you are absolutely satisfied that enough time has passed since you first met him. The most obvious "I'm Just a Fling" sign that you can give him is jumping into bed with him too soon.
Insist on the Old-School Type of Dating
You can assert yourself and your refusal to fall into the "fling" category by simply insisting on the right type of dating.
First off, make sure he actually wants to date you. Erase any notion he may have in his head of "hanging out," because this is code for "friend with benefits" or its short term equivalent, the dreaded fling. If he wants to see you, then he needs to plan an actual date. Making him make the effort is how he can prove that he's worth your time, and it proves that you are worth more than just a fling.
Stand Up for Yourself
Remember that he's just a guy and that there are plenty of guys out there. If he drags his feet and is unwilling to prove that he wants more than a fling by insisting on sex right away or by not wanting to go on real dates with you, then that's your cue to move on.
You can't make someone do anything they don't want to do, but you can save yourself the greater trouble of being a fling by flinging him to the curb right off the bat if he's acting shady. If he isn't showing you respect, then don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Don't be Afraid to be The Bitch
He may get manipulative when he's trying to persuade you to do certain things that you know are beneath you and signaling "fling" behavior. Some guys are capable of all sorts of mental games and nonsense when it comes to getting something they want if they face a tough opposition.
Don't ever be afraid to be labeled a Bitch. Consider this label a compliment when it comes to dating situations. Weak and lazy men who ultimately aren't worth your time will use the word "Bitch" for any girl that stands up for herself, knows what she wants, plays by her own rules and refuses to budge.
The Fun Factor
Just because you are looking out for yourself doesn't mean that you can't have fun if you find yourself dating this guy regularly.
Relax and be yourself. The more fun you have with him, the better impression he has of you mentally. If a guy connects you with fun memories, he's more likely to want as much time with you as possible.
Cementing Your Long-Term VIP Status
You can really cement your status in his life as more than temporary by being a trusted confidant. Getting a guy to open up to you about something serious highlights you as a good friend and someone he can trust; any guy with brains knows that these aren't things to throw away.
This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment