The No Contact Rule - Remember That Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

You may have already been told by someone that one of the better things that you can do for yourself after breaking up with a woman is to have no contact with her for awhile. That concept is often referred to as the no contact rule and while you might feel like that is a hard thing to do, you have to remember that absence does make the heart grow fonder and that is one of the things that you are going to be able to achieve if you are able to have a period of having no contact with your ex girlfriend.

Let's take a look at why that is, shall we:

If you were to ask just about any woman what the most annoying thing an ex boyfriend can do, most would say something to the effect of it being annoying when they feel like their ex boyfriend is trying too hard to stay in contact with them. They might talk about the frequent phone calls, they might talk about the ex boyfriend popping up at their job, things like that. If you abide by the idea of having no contact with your ex girlfriend, you won't have to worry about her having any of those complaints about you. That right there is more than enough to make you want to give it a try, at least I would think it would be more than enough.

The other thing that you will find if you talk to women about their ex boyfriends, is that the ones that they DO tend to remember fondly are the ones that they didn't have much contact with after the break up. And you'll notice that they tend to still have really good things to say about him, and that is what you want if you want to have a chance of being able to reconcile with your ex girlfriend later on.

As you can see, following the concept of having no contact with your ex girlfriend has a whole lot of upside to it and very little downside. One of the biggest mistakes that guys will make with an ex girlfriend is harassing her, even though they don't really think that is what they are doing. You do not want to cross that line, because once you do - you can't really go back. So, if you are wondering what you should do after a break up with a woman you were dating to stay on her good side and give you an opportunity to win her back later on, I'd say that abiding by the rule of no contact is one of the best things that you can do.

Choosing The Right Dating Site That Works For You

Is your dating career more like deja vu rather than an exciting roller coaster ride? Do you feel like you have met Prince Charming's frog-like counterpart rather than the royal gentleman you have been hoping for? Let's face it; more and more women are realizing that Mr. Right is less likely to be found than Mr. Right Now!

For some ladies, Mr. Right Now is not so bad. After all, there are plenty of independent career women who are still on the prowl for success rather than settle down. However, this does not mean that these power women will not appreciate the thrills and frills of a fantastic one on one date, right?

Most women (and perhaps, men as well) have noticed that their standards regarding potential "dates" and "partners" have changed. Yes, the ladies are pickier and more specific when it comes to knowing what they want. Hence, the mystery of why there are many failed blind dates has been partially solved!

Inside every lady is a princess waiting to meet her prince charming. While on occasions, frog princes do appear; women find themselves signing up on dating sites and trying their luck. Still, it will not hurt to know how to actually use these websites to find more hits than misses. If you are trying to decide on which site, app or service to test your luck with, here are a few tips you might want to consider:

What Type of Relationship Are You Looking For?

What exactly are you looking for? Are you gearing up for the long-term, long haul type of relationship? Are you looking for a casual, fun one on one date? No strings attached?

Determining what level of commitment you are seeking with the opposite sex will help you narrow down your choice of sites and services. It will also help these dating services find you a more specific partner.

What Type of Partner Are You Looking For?

Contrary to popular belief that women tend to change their minds a lot, when it comes to men, they have a pretty fixed criterion. Unfortunately, the list of qualities they tend to seek for in a man might outlast your regular roll of toilet paper.

Having a concise and precise list of what you are seeking for in a partner will make it easier for the dating service to narrow down possible matches and mismatches for you. This will also help you determine which has the best options to offer you.

What Type of Date Are You Looking For?

Another important thing to consider is the setting and the type of "date" you want to embark on. Dating sites and services nowadays have packages and great, unique date ideas that you can choose from.

Do You Really Want to Get Your Boyfriend Back?

A lot of women go through break-ups - some mutual and some one-sided. Some women move on with their life and some want to find a way to get back together with their ex.

Those that end up wanting their ex back may not always think carefully about their decision to get back together with their ex-boyfriend. Sometimes women make decisions that are led by their emotions and ego.

When your emotions are not under control and you are not in the right state of mind to think clearly, you may end up jumping to the wrong conclusions or making the mistake of getting back in a relationship for the wrong reasons.

If you are wanting to get back together with your ex boyfriend, you have to put your emotions aside and really think about whether you REALLY want to get back with this person.

If you have made up your mind that getting back together with your ex is what you truly want to do, you have to ask yourself why. There many instances where getting back together may not be justified. Here are few examples.

Example 1

Your boyfriend isn't making you happy and you decide to call off the relationship. In the end, you come to realize that you miss his presence and decide to get back together with him because you don't want to be lonely.

Example 2

Your boyfriend dumped you and got with another girl. You don't want him to be with anyone else but you. You don't really love him like that but you can't stand the thought of him being with someone else.

So, you want to win him back so that you can have your ex wrapped around your little finger and get that ego boost from being able to take him back from another girl.

Example 3

You were in a relationship with a guy who pretty much took care of you financially. Anyway, the relationship ends and you miss the perks of being together with your ex. So, you decide to try to win him back so that he can continue on providing for you.

All of these are examples of someone wanting to get back with their ex for the wrong reasons. If you want to get your ex back because of loneliness, revenge, pride, materialistic benefits, what other people think, jealousy, sex, or other reasons guided by your ego or immature thinking, you will not be happy with the outcome even if you do actually win your ex back.

So, put aside the emotions and your ego and ask yourself the following questions.

• Why did we break up?
• Why do I want to get back together with him?
• Do I still love him?
• Am I able to let go of the past and work on addressing the issues that led to the breakup?

If, after looking back at the relationship and analyzing the answers to the above questions, you have decided to try to win him back, you can start working towards your goal.

Winning your ex boyfriend back may not be the easiest thing to do but if the love is there and you are willing to address the issues that lead to the break up, be patient, and commit to a solid plan to win your ex back and create a better relationship with him, things can work out for the both of you.

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Getting Back Your Ex Girlfriend - 3 Mistakes That Are Going to Push Her Away for Good!

There are some mistakes that you can end up making with an ex girlfriend that are really going to push her away for good. They are the kind of mistakes that you can't just take back or apologize for and they can end up being the main reason why she won't even give the idea of getting back with you a second thought. So, if you want to get your ex girlfriend back, it is a good idea to know what these mistakes are so you don't unknowingly end up making any of them.

Here are 3 mistakes that are going to push her away for good:

1) You don't want to make the mistake of getting the timing WRONG.

Timing is such a crucial thing when it comes to getting back an ex girlfriend. Try to win her back too quickly, and you'll end up making her feel like she wants nothing to do with you at all. Wait too long to try and win her back, and she might end up feeling like you are more of a friend to her and like it would be a little too weird to end up dating you again.

2) You don't want to make the mistake of talking negatively about your ex girlfriend to people she knows.

While it might feel good for you to kind of get things off your chest and say some of the things that you want to say about her, you do have to be careful about who you are talking to. If you end up saying some really negative things about her when you are feeling kind of angry with her and the wrong person hears it, they can end up going back to her and telling her exactly what you said.

3) You also don't want to make the mistake of accusing her of things after breaking up with her.

Probably the most common thing that guys will accuse their ex girlfriend of after the break up is cheating. That's not the only one though. Some guys will accuse their ex girlfriend of not being as serious as they were or something along those lines. You have to be really careful of making accusations of your ex girlfriend, because those are the kinds of things that women just don't tend to forgive so easily.

When it comes to getting back an ex girlfriend, the fewer mistakes that you can make, the better off you are going to be. When things go smoothly, you give your ex less reason to doubt that getting back together is the right thing to do.

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Electronic Courage: Why Online Dating Enables Rejection

Respond or ignore... that's the choice you have to make regarding the message you just received from a fellow member of your favorite online dating site.

It should be a relatively easy decision but which one it's going to be depends largely on how marketable your online dating profile has been. If you've been receiving a lot of attention you might just ignore the message - which has both an upside and a downside for the sender. Having a message ignored can be good if it means someone is spared an unwarranted negative remark. Then again, sometimes it's nice just to know that the other person acknowledged the effort that was put into a message, even if the interest isn't reciprocated, and a polite "thanks, good luck" response can be a really nice gesture.

Conversely, if you've been receiving a lot of attention there's a real possibility that you might get drunk off of your own ego. You might wonder why the sender thought it was okay to send you a message at all. Heck, based on the number of messages you've been receiving you qualify for outright "sexy beast" status. You might be so overwhelmed by your popularity that you question how on earth this particular person thought you were anywhere in their league. You might even get frustrated that they clogged up your inbox with their obviously misplaced message. And if you're in a really bad mood, chances are you might send a reply-message that rejects the sender so harshly that it deters them from ever wanting to respond to another online profile again.

It's true that online dating instills a certain sort of "electronic courage" in people that they might not otherwise have in person when dealing with potential suitors. It can easily be likened to the equivalent of "liquid courage" - that false bravado that guys tend to get after they've had too much alcohol to drink and are eager to entertain a fight. Same sort of concept at play when online daters are feeling their oats.

So why does online dating give people an over-inflated sense of themselves and prompt rejection? It all comes down to the filter that is the faceless internet itself. How many times have you been approached by someone in person and felt too nervous about rejecting them because you didn't know how they would react? Well, the internet provides cover that you wouldn't ordinarily enjoy in those types of situations. When someone with a profile that doesn't pass muster for you sends a message you can choose to do whatever you want with it without having to feel bad about it.

That's an interesting concept, huh? People really don't give much thought to what the person on the other side of that internet connection is going to think about a non-response or short rejection note. The internet is turning us into a very impersonal society in that regard. And the more impersonal we become the more comfortable we feel about rejecting others.

In addition, tomorrow always promises to bring a new crop of interested potentials your way so a lot of online daters choose to hedge their bets with the numbers game. The numbers game has always been a factor when it comes to dating, especially for those that don't have trouble attracting others, but the internet makes it ridiculous. There are so many members of online dating sites nowadays that even those that might not be as successful in the attraction department in person are doing relatively well on the internet. In general, when you know that you can discount someone today and still have five more potentials knocking on your door tomorrow it makes online dating a breeding ground for rejection.

The secret to success is knowing this going in. If you understand that online dating increases the likelihood of rejection for these reasons, you will fare better by playing the numbers game yourself. Okay, so the "5-Alarm Fire" hot person you emailed last week never responded. Pick your chin up off the ground and take another look at the people that have messaged you since then.

Are you sure that person you overlooked yesterday isn't Starbucks-worthy?

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Online Dating: Secrets of a Narcissist

Richard (not his real name) profiled me as his perfect partner on an online dating site rated as a top trusted relationship provider in the USA. For many decades he had fooled friends, family, and colleagues while sexually abusing the clients that he was ethically bound to do no harm to. Richard has a long trail of soul murdered women in his pursuit of ideal love and omnipotence.

He is a charming, seducing, angelic narcissist creating misery in his wake. Narcissists tend to damage the lives of almost every person they encounter by lying, betraying, and manipulating. For Richard's ex-wives and child their life with him was purgatory. For all he could keep hostage, it was misery, a nightmare. For some partners it must have felt like evil.

According to the DSM-IV-TR, a patient must exhibit five or more of the following traits in order to be diagnosed with NPD:

— shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

— grandiose sense of self-importance

— preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

— belief that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

— need for excessive admiration

— sense of entitlement

— takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

— lacks empathy

— often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

Narcissist are compulsive in their pursuit of narcissistic supply (awe, admiration, attention, even being feared) and projecting a loving image that is compatible with his or her false self-image. A narcissist's projected image tends to be lovable until he or she gets tired of being nice. No longer able to manufacture adoration in their partner; being feared then becomes narcissistic supply. A victim's emotional pain and destroyed self-esteem feeds the fantasy of being all-powerful and capable of anything.

The start of our relationship was a whirlwind romance. The chemistry appeared to be instant for both of us. We met outside a bookstore. I was sitting on a bench, when I locked eyes with him, the sexual tension was immediate. My whole body was vibrating with aliveness. He mistook my loving nativity and longing for being gullible. He underestimated my integrity and commitment for doing no harm to others. He was too good to be true and I didn't understand that meant a nightmare. He came across as a confident, charming, attentive, professional in my field. Shortly after we were dating he started making plans and began to tell me he loved me. I was the ideal reflection of true love for his preoccupation with projecting a lovable image. He had no intention of following through on the promises he made. He had picked me to better his status and save him from financial disaster. My life had been so extraordinary as a result of my personal adversities that I believed this miracle man was possible. His insidious ability to mirror my wish-fulfillment (delusion) for a perfect man was award-winning as was the lovability of his projected image. My emotions of awe, respect, admiration, and attention were food for his narcissistic supply. He catered to my needs and wishes because he craved my reflected love and admiration. It was through my reactions that he felt an illusionary sense of self. Richard was sadly divorced from his true self and married to his image. He was an empty soul forced to use me in order to feel his existence. If I had not caught his written admission of the crimes he committed over several decades I might have become his mere instrument for gratification. He was never bothered by his history of unscrupulous behavior and the constant exploitation of his victims. Indifferent to the consequences of his actions, the damage and pain he inflicted on his partners, son, friends, client's or family. The written admission of the crimes he committed came as a result of a major life crisis which directly threatened his projected and perceived image. Life crises are typically the only times a narcissist may seek help. A girlfriend he had lived with for 10 years ended their relationship and at the same time his 16-year-old son from a previous marriage got a court ordered restraining order put in place, stating to the judge, "My father is too immature to be a parent." In a moment of desperation, two years before we met, he wrote about his secrets in a journal. In his disorganized character style he left the journal in his library bookshelf.

Early in our relationship, after declarations of love, and before his proposal, he left his email page open on his computer. I noticed emails coming from our on-line dating site. I mentioned this to him asking if he was still looking for a match. I saw irritation cross his face as he told me he was off the dating site, but they kept sending him email. I took him at his word and let it go. Later, when he asked for my hand in marriage, I accepted. Weeks after the engagement the manipulation began for me to pay his bills. My financial solution was to sell my home and move in to his house. I reasoned that moving in was the right action to take because we were lifetime partners. I was very fortunate because the beginning of grace was being manifested. I was settled in his home when my lap top stop working and he allowed me to use his computer. Again, I was home one evening when he was attending a men's support group and he had left his email page open. I saw email communications from several dating sites. I did not open the messages. I was shocked, devastated, and numb. I told him what I had discovered when he came home. He exploded accusing me of bizarre intentions and accusations. We later explored the cognitive distortions that allowed him to verbally attack my character. We are both in the mental health field and empathy would have been the emotionally appropriate reaction to my discovery, especially since he professed innocence. My red flags went up. Several days later I opened the "Windows Media Center" program on his lap top to look at some pictures we had taken and the program opened his email site. There I saw several communications with women from various dating sites. One of the email's was dated after he had asked me to marry him and I opened the communication. The truth of his betrayal was revealed to me. I was so upset that I left our bed that night to sleep on the couch in his library loft. I looked through the multitude of self-help books in the shelves to see if I could find one on sexual addiction. It was then that I found a brown journal outlining his sex crimes against clients and the history of abusive treatment with women he married and partnered. After reading his disclosures I wasn't sure what kind of person I was dealing with and feared I might be in personal danger. I decided the best action was to go back to bed and pretend I was okay. Fortunately, his place of work was at a great distance from home. He had a routine of staying overnight with friends or at work on Monday and Tuesday nights, coming home on Wednesday nights and then he was off from work on Thursdays. I consulted with a colleague on the discovery of his crimes and then took the evidence to the police. I arranged to move all my belongings out of his house and went into hiding as the FBI Sex Crime Unit and local police evaluated the evidence. In the meantime he didn't know I had left until he came home on Wednesday night. The phone calls and emails began immediately and before he knew he was under police investigation. I did not respond to his attempts to contact me and have not spoken to him since this happen several years ago. No contact is the only way to deal with a sociopathic narcissist when you leave.

Following is one of his emails to me after I left his house and below are a few excerpts from his journal.

"Hi Baby,

Please don't believe your mind! You know about negative fear based thinking. What you saw is what you saw, but like looking at the glass you can see it as half-full or half empty. Listen to my heart. Carlos Constenada says in, "The Teaching of Don Juan", "when you are at the crossroads and both roads go nowhere choose the one with HEART IN IT." Please listen to my heart. We were beginning to plan our lives and our wedding. I want to marry you. I want to give you your ring back. I am sorry. I know I let you down. I don't want "the ring" it's yours, let me give it back. I have been hurt and confused by this too. Forgive me, I was wrong. I am sorry I was wrong in not protecting your mind from the painful thoughts that I betrayed you. If I would had destroyed those emails this would never have happened. I DID NOT BETRAY YOU AND NEVER WOULD. I am sorry you read those emails. I pissed you off. If you need more proof that I can be trusted, than I will give it to you. Help me help us so I can help you. You punished me enough, but let US work it out. I will go to therapy with you. I will go to groups. I want a life with you, whatever it takes. I never had the opportunity to have my hearts dream with a woman. We have the juice to have a real beautiful romantic life. Let your anger go. Let us have each other back."

Excerpts from his journal:

"I have used woman as objects and manipulated them for my own purposes. I used Linda (not her real name) as a sexual object to clean house and serve my needs, so I could read and do for myself for self serving purposes. I married Sally (not her real name) because I thought I could use her to provide for my security. We were compatible. She had more competence in business and with finances. She wanted to have a child. She was someone who would take risks."

**************************************

"I have been willing to use anyone. For years I would do the beach patrol and use women's bodies to relieve my sexual narcissism. I hurt people with sex. I used clients for my needs. I used clients and I used my sexual instinct. I wanted so many women. I had sex with many clients to meet my own needs. I have used women as sexual objects to control for my own joy."

***************************

"Sex, Drugs & Rock N Roll. I am a bad ass risk-taking tough guy. I got my body in shape to protect myself. I live in the basic instincts. I have a persona of a hunk. To be a man meant you could endure more pain and take more risk. I was willing to challenge people and use force to get my way."

****************************

"I have had a strong lust for the touch of attractive women in my life. I was not much interested in her character. I am a sex hound, a cheat, someone who has stolen when given a chance. I have an interest only in what I can get and at times I am desperate and have had to settle. I settled with Linda, Sally, Karen, and Joyce because of what they could do for me. Diane was someone I could use and she had a house."

*******************************

"I used my desires for sex, alcohol and pleasure to get my basic instincts met to dominate and control. "Find, Feel, F... k, Forget."

None of Richards's victims have come forward. Due to confidentiality laws information could not be obtained from the clinics and hospitals he worked at over the years. Written admission of crimes is not enough to press charges or hold muster in a court of law. My hope is that this experience has stopped him from abusing anymore victims. He has been a great teacher for me and a gift to my work with violent clients.

Thank you for reading this article. I've dedicated my personal and professional life to the importance of non-violence and self-love by teaching from my own experience. As a result, I've learned a lot about what it takes to put an end to the relationship abuse. And, as I learn and grow, I teach self-compassion and give advice I use myself, in the hopes that it helps you to improve your own life.

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How To Maintain High Confidence Even When You're Not Succeessful

Success is a by-product of confidence. The more confident you are, the higher your success can grow. Don't try to become successful without first becoming confident. This is why you want to make as many mistakes as possible in the beginning to learn and grow to get that confidence. I'm gonna explain to you how to maintain high confidence even when you're not successful. Pay close attention because your world is about to open up.

• The first thing you want to do is be honest with yourself. Don't lie to yourself, but at the same time don't beat yourself up over your flaws. What you want to do is work on changing those flaws and enhancing your best features. If you're fat, start working out. If you're not attractive, start wearing nice clothes and work on your personality. By the way, packing on muscle is a must if you want to get the best results. Women love men with muscles. Some like big muscles and some women like men who are cut up. Just work on packing on the muscle and let your body determine what kind of muscles you'll have.


• Treat anything you really want like a project. If you don't get what you want, go back to the drawing board. Instead of catching feelings and getting depressed, just ask yourself, "what happened there? Was it something I could have done better or was it out of my control?" Some women will like you and others won't no matter how good-looking or how much muscle you pack on. Don't beat yourself up over one woman because it's not about that one woman but the ability to get women.


• Be confident for no reason. Even when you fail, have the belief that you can do it... it's just a matter of learning how. If you're not successful with women, you need to learn how to treat them, how to talk to them, and how to make them cum, etc. Learning is what builds that confidence, not success just happening to you. When you understand something, you have more control over the situation. If you luck up on something, you won't know how to duplicate those results. Be confident for no reason because you know you're willing to learn and grow to be successful.

Stop trying to get lucky and start building that confidence. Sink or swim, you'll feel better about yourself once you do get the success you want.

This article is brought to you by FREE DATING SITES.

How To Mend A Broken Heart - Learn More About It

Relationships can be one of the most glorious feelings in the world. So when you go through a breakup of some sort, whether it be with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, can be a very hard thing to get through. However, mending your broken heart is very important when going through such a terrible time. There are many things you have to remember while mending that big heart of yours.

Keep in mind that it doesn't happen overnight, but if you follow certain things, it can make it a whole lot easier to deal with. Say for instance, everything that reminds you of that "other person," get rid of it. Keeping things around that reminds you of them will just bring all memories back of that person, and even if it's good things you remember, it still puts that in your head, thus you feeling upset, and sad that they are not there anymore. So, to be on the safe side, rid everything you ever had of him or her. Being a old t-shirt of theirs, or a picture of you both, or just them. Making it easier to "forget."

When it comes to mending your broken heart, nothing says "freedom" quit like getting all of your girlfriends, or buddies together, and going out. A night on the town is a quick fix, but it gets him or her out of your mind for a while. Nothing is better than going out to a dance, and having a good time. Having a few drinks is ideal, however, getting "plastered" just gets the water works going sometimes. So just go easy on the alcohol. Not to mention the fact that it will give you a horrendous hangover in the morning.

Maintaining your body will actually help you with not only staying in shape for yourself, but it allows you to keep your mind off of the person that just broke your heart. Have somebody that has gone through the same thing tag along. It always helps to have someone there to talk to that knows exactly what you're talking about, especially while doing something you both love. The exercise will then help you to look great when ready to go out on the dating scene. A massage, after all that exercising, can help to, to relieve some of that stress, due to heartbreak. This also gives you something to look forward to, after your extensive "break up" exercises.

In trying to mend a broken heart, there are really no guarantees, or quick fixes, but these things will definitely help with the process of it. But, you have to remember that, you are a better person without your ex, obviously, or he or she would be with you. Just remember, they are the ones missing out.

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Need to Write a Good Online Profile? Let a Life Coach and Online Professional Show You How!

First a few important points about online dating:

Most sites check member's profiles when they are created and when any changes are made so there is no point in including any lewd or explicit content.

Sites also do not allow any personal information in your profile so please leave out you addresses, cell numbers etc. in this area.

Another point is that this section is aimed at selling yourself as a decent and caring individual, it is not an opportunity to promote your business or services so leave that out here.

It is a good idea to spend some time and create your profile in a word document so that you can perfect it before putting it up on the site.

Profiles go live immediately and are checked within 24 hours. This means that if your profile goes up and is not perfect, you could miss out on the love of your life, because you did not take care with your profile.

The number of replies you get from other members will depend on the quality and completeness of your profile.

Here are some useful tips that will help you get the best possible results:

•Create a catchy title for your profile! When members search listings on the site, the title of your profile is usually listed alongside your name. As a woman, a profile titles like "Hi my name is Ed!" does nothing for me, whereas I definitely stopped to have a closer look at titles such as "A Woman Is A Precious Thing" and "Knight In Shining Armour Seeks His Princess". Yes I know the second one is a little corny but it is still eye-catching.

•When you create a heading do remember to capitalize as I have done in the examples as your heading will stand out more. A catchy heading is great but will not do a thing without a photograph so do upload one!

•People like to see who they're writing to and, as a result, profiles that have photographs attached get up to 10 times more clicks than profiles that don't.

It is usually quite easy to submit photographs but if you are digitally challenged you can usually send your picture to the sites support team for them to upload. Sites usually accept digital photo's in JPG or GIF format. Please remember that honesty is hugely important when it comes to online dating so always use a recent photograph!

•Your profile should include your likes and dislikes, things you enjoy doing, what line of work you're in, what your personality is like, even your hopes and dreams. The better your profile describes you, the more likely it is that others will read and respond to it.

Some sites allow you to upload audio and video introductions! These are wonderful tools and if you use them carefully and creatively you will be on the way to success. Here you can tell people what you want them to know about yourself in your own words, and make them feel as if they have known you for ages!

Then sit back, relax, and watch your mailbox getting flooded with messages! Here's hoping that your prospective suitors have also read this article and that they knock your socks off with information that is attractive to you!

So now the mails are rolling in and you have some possible dates on offer. Don't rush into heading off for dinner with the first person that contacts you.

Although it can be tedious, you should try to get to know each other via email before you head out on a date. This is no guarantee that you are getting the 'genuine article' but it is still wise to take a bit of time and, even then, I suggest a coffee date just to size each other up a little more. If this date goes well you can come up with dating ideas that will be a more adventurous and exciting.

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How To Make Her Hot For You, Guaranteed Skin Tingling Tips Creating Uncontrollable Sexual Tension

Do you want to know how to make her hot for you, do you want the secrets of the elite? Do you want to her pulsate with desire longing for your touch. The secrets of seduction are available for every one but few put in the effort and dedication to master these skills. This is a huge mistake because, with some knowledge and dedication you can become a incredibly skilled at attracting beautiful women and making then want you.

Listed here are some tips that will guarantee to make her skin tingle with desire if you carry then out in the correct manner.

Purpose. Trying to Grab a Feel is a huge turn off for women. Don't try to touch as if you are doing something wrong or illicit. Have purpose in your step. Touch her as if you mean it and feel a connection. A good way to make her crave you to do more, is holding hair her away from her neck while your other hand gently massages her tense shoulders.

Don't try to grope her. Let her feel safe in your arms, hold her firm with tenderness.

Less is always more. The intention is to make her feel relaxed not tense because your fingers keep wandering. You will feel her body relaxing and her position become more inviting, this is what you want but don't deviate form your purpose of massaging her neck. Make her want more, by keeping some back.

All seduction starts in the mind. Women want what they can't have, hold back a bit, enjoy the massage. Allow her to fantasize, be aware of the changes in her body language, how she is relaxing, listen to her breathing change.

The Look. This is one of the least used but one of the most powerful techniques to make a woman hot for you. This method can be achieved whether you are next to her or at the other side of the room. Always remember women are incredible intuitive and can sense when a man is looking and his intention. If you look at her as if you are undressing her with your eyes you will fail to seduce and just appear creepy. The key to "The Look" is the passion she can feel when you are looking at her, catching her eyes. This technique works at the primal level and is very effective in making her feel she is connected to you sexually.

Remember, allow your glare to linger with passion not an intense creepy stare which makes her feel uncomfortable.

This article is brought to you by DATING SERVICE.

Oxytocin and Work Relationships

You know how it goes; "He doesn't work as part of the team!" "She's a loner... " "We need someone who will work with others to deliver." These are all familiar conversations uttered in the working environment and all can cause frustration between co-workers at all levels.

But maybe it's more difficult for some simply because their body isn't programmed to respond to others in creating affiliations and relationships - perhaps a little 'Dilbertesque'[1] but, if you follow Scott Adams' daily cartoon strip, you see what I mean.

Since the early 1900s when Henry Dale discovered it, the hormone oxytocin has been cast in the part of being able to affect trust, bonding and even a disposition toward giving (being generous to others). Fast-forward through the 50s to the 90s, and it has also been seen to have an effect in cases of autism and anxiety disorders so might this natural substance be both culprit and savior? Well, yes, and no!

That we produce oxytocin at different levels in each of us (it is present in woman, man and child) doesn't necessarily mean that it, alone, is responsible for mood swings, for changes in behavior and our ability to 'make friends,' but it does have an impact. What it does, in its own way, is help to program the brain by decreasing levels of unease or anxiety and encourage us to begin the process of forming relationships by recognizing and reacting to external stimuli (clues to you and me) about a particular social situation.

One researcher, Paul Zak[2], was able to demonstrate that dosing with oxytocin via inhalation enhanced trust of others, created increased levels of generosity, and promoted more friends, improved relationships and (even) more sex amongst women. This and other research has led to a belief that, one day, oxytocin might be used to alleviate the disorders that cause problems in the ways people react and relate to each other.

Is it, therefore, possible that using oxytocin could improve relationships in the work place? Judging by what has gone before the answer is "probably,' but how?

Do we have a 'Big Brother' scenario whereby oxytocin is wafted into the work place and we all, miraculously, work so well together? Is this some fiendish plot simply to improve profits? Happily, that isn't the case.

The big issue for many is recognizing that there is a problem in the first place - all too often, we simply think that the other person is wired differently, shrug our shoulders and get on with life. But sometimes the individual will see their MD who will diagnose stress or anxiety and sometimes he or she will prescribe oxytocin factor sublingual drops or the nasal spray as a medication to treat a disorder. Supplements are also available online and over the counter. What it does is to tell the brain that it wants to react favorably to the situations around it - physically as well as attitudinally - to look at forming relationships rather than being alone, to trust others and to respond to external stimuli in a way that doesn't see them as a threat.

What needs to happen is a change in attitude towards others - a subtle move from 'fight or flight' to 'tend and befriend' (this latter becoming prevalent in the early 90s as a model for behavior in social situations). If the oxytocin factor can help in any way, then it is by providing the stimulus for the brain to see social situations (whether in the work place or not) as being unthreatening and capable of solution. Along with some of the body's naturally produced hormones and triggers, oxytocin can assist in providing a platform through which to grow into being a 'social animal' rather than alone.

It is important that we get along with our co-workers, not in a 'buddy' sense, but, because we spend so much of our time in relationships, being alone among others can be counterproductive for the work force and the individual. If externally administered oxytocin can provide the kind of stimulus that scientists and some academics believe, then it should be explored. After all, having an engine that is firing on five rather than six cylinders will do harm to the process.

[1] http://www.dilbert.com

[2] Oxytocin Increases Generosity in Humans - Paul J. Zak, Angela A. Stanton & Sheila Ahmad

This article is brought to you by DATING SERVICE.

How to Get a Girlfriend Before The New Year - 5 Steps You Need to Take

You started off 2012 without a girlfriend and you know how that feels. Seems like everyone has someone that they can share that magical moment when the ball drops and you want some of that too. You are dead set on the fact that you DO want to get a girlfriend before the calendar hits 2013. And you totally don't believe in any of that Mayan nonsense about the world ending before that... so what are you going to do?

Here are 5 steps that you NEED to take if you are going to get a girlfriend before the ball drops and the calendar turns over to 2013:

1) Commit yourself to having a "no excuses" attitude.

Stop telling yourself that you don't have the looks or the personality to attract a girlfriend. Some of the biggest jerks end up with a woman in their life and some of the most boring guys also end up with someone, so there is no reason why you can't. You can't sabotage yourself, you have to stop making excuses before you do anything else.

2) Sign up for one of the well known free dating sites.

There are several of these out there and the more well known that they are, the better. You don't want to sign up with some site that no woman has ever heard of. You are not going to get a chance to meet any females that way. Go with one of the ones that you have heard of or seen ads for, because chances are... plenty of single women have seen those ads of heard of those sites as well.

3) Fill up your calendar over the next 4 weeks with something to do, somewhere to go every weekend.

You are not going to end up getting a girlfriend by sitting at home and watching reruns of shows that weren't funny ten years ago. You are going to get a girlfriend when you take action and when you get out and mix and mingle with people. There are tons of parties, social events, and club/bar events that go on leading up till New Years... make the most of it.

4) Talk to friends that you trust and see if they know of anyone that they think would be a good match for you.

Sometimes this ends up being the easiest and most effective way to get a girlfriend that you actually like being around. Your friends know who you are and they know who will match up well with you. Take advantage of that if you can. The cool thing is, if they do know someone that they can set up you up with, you'll already have something in common with that woman.

5) Approach one woman per day over the next few weeks.

This is the real "take action approach" that will yield awesome results if you actually go ahead and do it. During the holiday season, women are usually a little more receptive about being approached. Has a lot to do with the whole "holiday spirit" thing. Use that to your advantage and start approaching women. Don't come across like you are looking to pick them up, come across like you are just trying to make conversation.

This is one of the easiest times of the year to get a girlfriend. Women want to be in a relationship this time of the year and the amount of opportunities to go out and meet someone are endless. The only way that you are going to end up failing... is if you don't take any action. So, go ahead and put these 5 steps to use.

This Is Married Life For Most Of Us! Hope, The Elixir Of Life

In every relationship/marriage,

the love fades with the time,

as novelty evaporates,

and familiarity breeds contempt.

The spouse, may not dislike you,

may not hate you,

but,

will not love you all the same,

as during the honeymoon days.

Mutual respect comes down,

casualness,

taking each other for granted,

politeness, courtesy is for friends or strangers.

The love between two imperfect individuals,

is often conditional,

when violated in later years,

the differences crop up,

arguments may lead to violent encounters.

There is hostile or cold ambience,

it calls for accepting the reality objectively,

thanking each other for decades of good old times,

the shared life, the hopes and goals achieved,

and not to display intolerance over present issues,

for the sake of family.

A cold, functional relationship,

with diluted warmth of earlier days,

continues.

If only a spouse,

could shed the ego,

initiate efforts to repair the relationship;

the ego does not permit,

'why should I be first'?

Ego forbids to bend.

Both live a mechanical, bland life,

and miss the warmth of earlier days,

indefinitely,

unfortunately!

HOPE, THE ELIXIR OF LIFE!

We all hope,

for the better.

The present woes, enmities, disappointments,

we hope will evaporate in the near future.

It does not work out that way.

Our commitments, our disagreements,

come back to us,

in future,

if not addressed satisfactorily.

We postpone the vital unpleasant issues,

get into easy, non-essential activities,

and accumulate self-created problems.

We have temporary peace.

Unable to call a spade a spade,

scared of taking a tough stand,

trying to please everybody,

prolonging the agony for years;

within the family, with the friends;

hoping time is a great healer,

till death solves the problem.

God takes away one of the aggrieved party.

If wishes were horses,

and God granted me the wish,

I will discard my reluctance,

analyse frankly, transparently,

why my problems could not be solved,

all these years.

Some of my friends,

believe only they,

are assets in my life,

insist for me to dilute interaction with others,

who are playing havoc in my life.

The same view is held by my other friends.

Unable to tell them on their face,

' you both are biased ',

trying to appease all my friends,

I suffer silently,

for not being bold enough,

May be most of us are in the same boat.

Insensitive souls are blessed,

for they are not aware, whom they hurt.

Not heeding to my friends' advice,

taking objective, balanced approach,

I am not trust worthy.

I yearn for all my friends,

refuse to take sides.

Hoping against hope,

I will win approval, respect and trust,

of my all friends.

Hope,

is the greatest blessing God has given us.

Thank you God.

This article is brought to you by DATING.

Is He Really Serious About You? 3 Possible Clues He Is NOT

The last thing that you probably want to do is waste your time in a relationship with a guy who isn't really all that serious about you. To spend time with someone only to realize that you were way more serious about the relationship than they were can be a humbling and even humiliating experience. You probably are not looking for that to happen, so you may be interested in figuring out whether or not the guy you are with is really serious about you or if you are just wasting your time.

Here are 3 clues that he is NOT really serious about being with you:

1) He makes just about everything else in his life a priority over you.

Does he seem to break plans with you whenever anything else comes up? Is he the kind of guy who will blow off date night with you just to go hang out with the guys at the bar and shoot some pool? If he is willing to ditch you for something else most of the time, I'd hate to say it, but he is probably not that serious about you. When a guy is serious about a woman he is dating, he'll make sure that he spends time with her.

2) He doesn't want to talk about the future with you.

Have you tried to get him talking about future plans with you and every time that you do, he seems to find a way to talk about something else or he just flat out makes it clear that he doesn't like to talk about that stuff? While it is true that some guys just have a really hard time talking about future plans, usually they will at least try and give it some effort if they are really serious about the relationship working out. If he is unwilling to even give it a shot, then chances are it is because he is not that serious about the relationship.

3) He talks about other women in front of you.

I don't mean talking about celebrities that he is never going to meet. I mean, does he talk about women that pass by when you are out with him and make comments that show he is still kind of looking around? That would probably be a good indication that he is the kind of guy who will up and leave if he feels like he can "upgrade" and that is probably not the kind of guy you want to be with.

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How Do I Make Her Like Me Again? 3 Ways to Do This

You know that she liked you before, as she just happens to be your ex girlfriend. Obviously, if she was into you enough to want to date you, she definitely was feeling you. So, what are you going to do now that she is your ex girlfriend and you want to make her like you again? Are you going to be one of those guys who gives up and swears that it is impossible to win back the affection of a woman he adores? You don't have to be one of those guys and really, you don't want to be.

Here are 3 ways that you can make her like you again:

1. Connect with the old you, the one that she fell for.

Here is what a lot of guys do when they get into a relationship with a woman: They change into a less desirable version of the guy that they were when they first met their girlfriend. I'm not talking about the little habits that you have that she finally got to see for the first time, I am talking about when you STOP working on making her want you and just kind of take her for granted. When you become that guy who takes his girlfriend for granted as if she will always be there, you inevitably become a LESS desirable guy. You want to go back to being that old you that was all about making her fall for you.

2. Play a little game of being aloof with her.

It's not always good to be totally obvious about the fact that you want her back in your life. Sometimes being a little bit aloof is what she needs to see in order for that desire to kick in again. When you play aloof with your ex girlfriend, you can trigger her desire to want to win you over, to get your attention. That's putting the shoe on the other foot so that it is not just you that is making all of the moves.

3. Seduce your ex girlfriend using proven methods of seduction.

Seducing your ex girlfriend isn't going to be easy, as she already knows you, so you really can't pull any of that fake stuff to try and impress her or make her think of you as being some really cool guy. What you can do, is learn some of the proven seduction techniques that doesn't really rely on any of that fake stuff and works more on her female psychology than anything. Do this right and you might be pleasantly surprised at how easy it can be to make her like you again.

Top Ten Ways to Use LOA to Build a Better Relationship

Some people in relationships feel like a lot of what's happening is happening to them. That is a powerless feeling. I don't believe you can use Law of Attraction to change someone else. However, I do believe that using Law of Attraction tools can lay the energetic groundwork for two people to be better than they would be otherwise. LOA is powerful stuff. It's working all the time. Why not use it to your advantage where it matters the most?

1. Self Love. The Universe can only treat you as well as you treat yourself. (tweetable!) That probably also goes for your beloved. Self love is the foundation of all relationships, and everything else for that matter. So, amping up your self love vibration will only produce good things in your relationship.

2. Self Care. Some might think that is the same thing as self love, but it's not. Taking care of yourself and your own needs is the best way to prevent a codependent and needy pattern of behaviors from forming in your relationship. Not to mention, helps you generate more energy to share in a relationship. Committing to solid self care is in fact a selfless act.

3. Appreciation. Appreciation is seriously probably the valuable tool in the Law of Attraction arsenal when it comes to relationships. A little appreciation goes a long way. A lot of appreciation can create miracles.

4. Visualization. Spending just a minute or two everyday visualizing how you'd like to experience your beloved really works. You might consider it prepaving. It opens the door for the Universe to deliver what we want vs. what we've come to expect.

5. Honor the Divine. Commit to seeing your partner as an extension of divine source energy. This might be easier sometimes than others. However, commitment is the key. Making the choice to see your beloved as THE BELOVED, allows your relationship to take on a much more sacred dimension and flourish on a whole new level

6. Use a mantra. Trust me, it works. Try repeating, "I am madly in love with (insert your Sweeties name here), twenty or thirty times a day, everyday. Magic!

7. Double your manifesting power. Talking about, imagining, visioning, and creating an ideal future together, has twice the manifesting punch. Be intentional about creating time to create together.

8. Create a sacred space. We all know that sacred spaces have a special kind of power. They are primed with some extra special juice. Make your bedroom a sacred monument for your relationship and treat it as such.

9. Spend time together in silence. Tandem meditation is incredibly powerful. Just spending 15 minutes a week together in silence, maybe holding hands can build intimacy in very surprising ways.

10. Expect the best. When two people have been together for a long time they tend to think they know what their partner is going to do or say most of the time. When we're expecting good things, that's great. When we're anticipating not so good things, we're rarely surprised. Build your positive expectation muscles and be prepared to see how your partner surprises you.

** Bonus tip **

Become the kind of person you want to be in love with.

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So, What's It Like To Be You?

Imagine going to a social event and feeling like just a face in the crowd when someone comes up to greet you, introduces themselves, and invites you to share some information about yourself with them.

You begin to tell them about your work, your family, your interests, but then something unusual occurs; they don't turn to begin to talk about themselves, they seek more information on you, because they appear genuinely interested - and there's no hidden agenda. It's not like they're prying or anything - they sincerely want to know what it's like to be you.

I don't know about you, but this strikes me as a very odd situation, but it is something that has happened to me, and since it did, I have started to do it myself because I discovered something...

The point is this: when we throw ourselves into the practice of truly wanting to know what it's like to be another person, God seems to do two things: 1) our anxieties, for the moment, become extinguished; and 2) we're filled with a joy beyond our own construction.

There is also another set of social advantages: 1) we may truly get to know the other person much more intimately; 2) a bond may develop between them and us; and, 3) we prove God is real in the relational space between the two of us.

ENGAGING GENUINELY IN THE OTHER PERSON

It takes a lot of joy-bounded love in our hearts to surrender our thoughts for ourselves long enough to dive into another person's world. We would much prefer to talk about ourselves than listen to other people.

But hear this: a realm of relational blessing - a blessing of connectedness enjoyed for two - stands to be gained when we enter another person's world. We might both gain.

Engaging genuinely in the other person is agreeing with ourselves that we are not the topic of discussion; they are.

Having made such an agreement with ourselves we are now totally consumed with interest in their world and God's Spirit begins to show us many things we were not previously aware of. Our perceptions are sharpened. We notice things about them we wouldn't normally have. And in all this we sense a connection probably very close to love. God blesses us with a cogent sense of wellbeing.

ENTERING INTO RELATIONSHIP BY FAITH

This is what we are doing: we are entering into relationship by faith.

We are putting ourselves on the back-burner long enough to deal with the other person much like Jesus would. Jesus would be innately interested. If we are devoted to the idea of becoming more like Jesus, entering into relationship by faith enough to enter another person's world will get us closer.

It's an expression of faith.

How else are we to happily put ourselves on the back-burner, than to enquire lovingly of another? It takes faith to sow such threads of love, but in the right mind - our loving mind - we redeem joy, and the Presence of God, as well as seeing the loving bonds that are being created because the other person sees the authenticity of the Spirit through us.

***

God's love is made real when we enter another person's world with genuine interest; to understand who they are, from where they've come from, and why. Listening without retort or judgment is rare. But it's even rarer when someone wants to listen, and wants to get to know us. God's Presence is known when our love is shown.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

This article is brought to you by DATING.

Use Your Brains and Text Your Ex Boyfriend Back With Ease

Do you want to learn how to text your ex boyfriend back with ease, but can't think straight just yet because of all of the heartbreak and pain that you are currently feeling? Have you already tried to convince your ex to get back together with you, but he just won't be swayed? Well, the good news is that you just need to change your approach a little bit in order to save your relationship and get it the second chance that it deserves.

No matter why you and your ex broke up, you need to know that relationships can always be saved. You just need to contain the pain that you feel at the moment. Practically every woman makes mistakes when attempting to get an ex boyfriend back. In some cases, however, this results in the ex not wanting to have anything to do with them anymore, ignoring their texts and forgetting about them altogether.

Before you try to text your ex boyfriend back, you need to ask yourself why you actually want him back in the first place. Is he still the love of your life in your mind? If so, then you have to hide how you feel and avoid acting irrationally and thinking impulsively. Desperation is not a good trait to have right now - remember that.

Also, you have to accept that your relationship currently doesn't exist, so all that you can really do is shape up your chances of winning your ex boyfriend back eventually. To do this, make sure you show him how much you still care for him and respect him whenever you send him a text.

On the flip side, there are several things that you will need to avoid if you want to text your ex boyfriend back. For starters, you have to stop texting him too much. As much as you would like to keep tabs on your ex boyfriend right now and make sure he doesn't slip away from you forever, you have to avoid appearing needy right now; otherwise, you might just push him away even further and throw him out of your life for good.

The good news is that love probably isn't the reason why you guys broke up. Having said that, you can be sure that any of your problems can be fixed provided you play all of your cards right while trying to text your ex boyfriend back.

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Why Do People On The Rebound Make Bad Relationship Choices?

Do you know that many individuals who are coming out of an unhealthy relationship situation often find themselves quickly re-entering similar negative and often abusive relationships? Do you know that this pattern is largely driven by feelings of rejection, abandonment, low self worth, low self esteem, and a deep need to be/feel loved, feel wanted, secure, whole, complete, validated, wanted, needed, purposeful, fulfilled and so on? Do you know however that these needs are the main reason for the inability to make clear, discerning and healthy choices at such a vulnerable time? Finally, do you know that it is now possible to permanently and quickly heal the emotional pain that comes with the ending of a relationship, to restore one not only to a state of inner peace but to wholeness, emotional independence and self sufficiency from which point they can feel empowered, clear, discerning and fully able to make self respecting and healthy choices in a partner? Want to learn more?

Let's face it the end of a relationship is often very traumatic to an individual.

Not only do few ever really ever heal from such trauma, it is the traumatic memory of the experience itself that sets them up to make more bad relationship choices creating a growing and gaping "wound" of emotional pain, insecurity, neediness, worthlessness, mistrust and so on that can literally undermine the overall quality of one's life.

So is it possible to stop this destructive cycle?

Well, yes, but not in the traditional ways you may think such as grieving the loss, or by undertaking some soul searching psychotherapy that purports to help you rebuild self esteem and self worth.

After a 20 year career as a psychiatrist and psychotherapist I found that such approaches not only did not work they only made the emotional pain go "underground" into the subconscious mind/body. There it remained actively charged and prone to being reactivated by triggering events such as new relationships.

The negative memories of such events being inherently traumatic also do one very important and to date unrecognised thing; they literally "kick you" out of your body!

So what do I mean by that, you ask?

Well, there is something called Life Force Energy (LFE) or what many refer to as their "Essence" or "Authentic Self" that is the source of all one's positive resources such as self esteem, self worth, self confidence, inner strength, inner wisdom, courage, resilience, ability to make healthy discerning choices, sense of optimism and well being and much more that keeps one functional, alive and empowered.

Each time one experiences a traumatic event (which by the way is any event that is "against life" or "against you") the memory of that event gets downloaded and stored into your mind/body (i.e. what many refer to as the "subconscious mind") and while there behaves as what I call a Life Force Energy "Parasite". In other words it lives off of and depletes your LFE from your mind/body rendering you feeling weak, helpless, needy, empty, vulnerable, unlovable, worthless, inadequate, deficient, dependent, confused, and essentially unable to look after your self.

This state of negativity is often heightened when a stressful traumatic event such a relationship ending occurs.

In this state the person feels extremely insecure largely because they are left with a feeling of emptiness that needs immediate "filling". This leads them to look "outwards" to others rather than "inwards" to the reintegration of depleted LFE and hence leads them to make impulsive, poor, and needy choices that often results in more negative relationship experiences.

So is there a way to stop this destructive process? Absolutely!

The only way I have found to deal with this problem is to help one begin to restore and reintegrate their LFE into their mind/body (i.e. literally come "home") so that they can feel whole, complete, secure, strong, confident, clear, in control of themselves, at peace, patient, and therefore able to make healthy, self respecting relationship (and other) choices often for the first time in their lives.

The reintegration of LFE in my experience is only possible when the negative memories of the recent (and past) negative memories of (any) trauma is permanently and completely "erased" from the mind/body.

A decade ago a new coaching process that can do just this was developed and is available to you. So if this is of interest to you kindly visit the web site below where you can request a free introductory telephone/Skype coaching consultation that will begin to help restore you to wholeness and to help you start making self respecting, discerning and healthy relationship choices.

Relationship Advice - Do You and Your Partner Fight Too Much?

Every relationship has its share of disagreements. Verbal disagreements are not only normal, but they are classed as being healthy and necessary in order for the relationship to grow. But how much is normal? What level of fighting is considered to be too much fighting?

If a couple argues about the same issues over and over again, such as money for example, then this is obviously an area they need to work on. The stress of having continual money issues can chip away at any relationship, no matter how healthy it is. This is perfectly natural. But when a couple argues about everything, no matter how big or small it may be, then there is a major problem.

A lot has to do with how the couple fights, too. Having an argument is one thing, but when any argument you have becomes a personal attack, this is a sign there is definitely something else going on. You may start out arguing about being late and by the end, it has turned into how messy the person is around the house and what is being said is maybe cruel and mean.

How did you make that leap... because it didn't have anything to do with being late? That was just the most recent excuse to start-up a fight. There is an underlying problem that sits in limbo until an opportunity presents itself. No matter how small the issue is, it is now an opportunity to unload on one another.

How do you know if you are fighting too much? Most couples instinctively know. They come to realize every issue, no matter how minute, is going to end up in a fight. So, in order to keep the peace (at least some of the time), they avoid discussing anything unless a major issue arises. This is why the amount of fighting you endure is based on communication. The couple really doesn't know how to communicate without it turning into a knock-down-drag-out fight.

There should only be a few major areas in your life that should result in a "fight". The rest of the issues should be only "small arguments" or even "snippy disagreements". Both of these are usually over with quickly and after a few minutes, peace is made.

What are the major issues? Usually money, family and work. One of those can be substituted out for something else, but as a whole, there should only be roughly three major issues that could result in a fight. But this doesn't mean anytime you discuss these subjects is grounds to erupt into an altercation.

This article is brought to you by PERSONALS.

Relationship Advice - Can Your Relationship Be Saved?

While some relationships are hard to develop, they can sometimes be even harder to maintain. Although we would all like to find ourselves in a blissful situation with the perfect partner, it unfortunately doesn't always work out that way! So, if you find yourself in a situation that is anything but blissful, what do you do? Do you throw in the towel, or can your intimate relationship be saved?

It may be of little consolation to you for the moment, but the first thing to remember is you are not alone. There is a reason almost half of all marriages end up in divorce. There is a reason why there is so much emphasis placed on the dating scene. And there is a reason why dating services are a multi-billion-dollar-a-year industry.

In a perfect world, finding the "right person" or your "perfect partner" would be easy, and staying with them forever would not require too much effort... everything would flow lovingly. Don't ever make the mistake of starting to think there is something really wrong with you. If that were the case, when it comes to intimate relationships there would have to be something wrong with half of the population at least.

The fact is a happy intimate relationship is quite a process. A happy relationship really only exists if the people involved in it are happy as individuals. If one of the couple is miserable, all of the happiness thrown into the relationship by the other person won't matter. When one partner is unhappy, it can either be because of the relationship, or because of something else going on in their life. Either way, the happy partner is only going to put up with it for so long and after that, the decision on whether or not to save the relationship will have been made for them.

If one partner is unhappy, it has to be worked out why.

First, is it because of the behavior of their partner? If so, the happy partner should be able to pick up on this. If the unhappy partner comes to them and says they have some problems with the relationship, it should not be a shock.

If you are unhappy, and someone asked your partner why you were, in fact, unhappy, what would they say? Would they be able to identify it? Would they know the cause of the unhappiness? And if it was their fault, would they ever admit it?

The bottom line is this: if you are unhappy, you should know why. And, more importantly, your partner also needs to know why.

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Creating Relationship Success During Relationship Stress

Healthy, satisfying, mutually supportive relationships are on everybody's 'want' list. Given how desirable that state of affairs is, it's no wonder people try so many different strategies to bring them about.

It would be easy to think that the best success strategy would be keeping stress out of the relationship, but alas, that's pretty near next to impossible. Of course, those with constant high stress levels are bound to suffer, so it certainly does pay to keep the level of strain as low as possible. But to try to keep tensions out entirely - well, good luck with that!

So, given there's no avoiding some stress, what are the strategies that work the best for handling it when it does happen?

The key to not only keeping your relationship healthy, but also improving it at the same time, is to learn how to reduce the stress as much as possible, and to handle the stress well when it does occur.

The following strategy is one that tops the list for effectiveness, both for reducing stress and for handling it well when it happens. To grasp it well and be able to use it when the chips are down is to reduce the occurrence of relationship issues by a large magnitude. To convey what it is, here are some examples of exactly the opposite, the better to contrast it with what works:

  * Person A has a hard time at work and comes home and criticizes Person B.

  * Person A is running late on some projects and reneges on an important obligation to Person B without the adequate prior notice that would allow Person B to make other arrangements.

  * Person A feels pressure to get Person B to see her point of view. As the two of them converse, Person A interrupts person B and won't let her finish a sentence, instead overriding everything Person B starts to say in response.

  * Person A is flush with success owing to completion of a project and lords it over Person B, inferring that Person B is inferior by comparison.

  * Person A is in the mood to play and relax but Person B is attempting to meet a deadline. Person A blithely continues chit-chatting about fun things to do together, ignoring Person B's deadline situation and demanding B's undivided attention.

What's going on in these situations? Is there something they each have in common, despite their different particulars?

In short, yes. In each situation, instead of owning their stress, Person A is passing it to Person B. This is such a significant way to sabotage relationships that it has an official name - passing a hot potato. In fact, to further become aware of it when it's going on, it's helpful to actually imagine this invisible passing-on-of-stress as a literal hot potato - one you can actually see. Doing so makes it easier to address.

So, when you're experiencing stress in your relationships, and since you can't control other people (big surprise!) the best approach is to ask yourself if you're doing anything to pass your stress onto the other person. And of course, since you may not be aware of doing it, you can ask the other person what their experience is.

The point is not to beat yourself up about it, but to find things that you need to own and address rather than passing them on, whether out of your awareness or not.

To underscore then, how to reduce your relationship stress and improve it at the same time use this rule of thumb:

Don't pass it. Own it instead.

Using the examples above, here's what that looks like:

* Person A has a hard time at work and comes home and tells Person B, then asks for help in figuring out how to address it.

* Person A is running late on some projects and lets person B know as soon as possible that it may not work to keep an important obligation to Person B and asking to work together to come up with a better plan that works for them both.

* Person A feels pressure to get Person B to see her point of view. As the two of them converse, Person A states how important it is to know her point of view has been received, and therefore asks Person B to repeat back what she's hearing Person A say.

 * Person A is flush with success owing to completion of a project and asks Person B if he's willing to listen to Person A talk about it a bit and celebrate this success together.

 * Person A is in the mood to play and relax but Person B is attempting to meet a deadline. Person A expresses her disappointment, asks if Person B is willing to do any fun things together at all, and offers to provide some support to Person B in meeting the deadline.

In each of these situations, the stress of each party in the relationship is owned and identified instead of passed to the other partner.

Make this a strategy you use consistently, and you'll likely be amazed at the difference it makes.

This article is brought to you by DATING.

Getting to Know Him on a First Date

The best time to lay the groundwork for a great relationship is on the first date. But what will keep the relationship going is how much you reveal about yourself and how much of him you get to know. Successful dating begins with communication both verbal and physical. Keeping him interested is a delicate dance and few women understand it well.

First off is conversation. Its a conversation, not a narration of everything you've ever done. Nor is it a psychiatry session where you listen to everything he has to say. There has to be some sort of exchange going on. It may be that you feel compelled to tell him about everything from how you got a wedgie in high school to the first night you got attacked by a vicious Chihuahua but don't! Conversation is the cornerstone on which everything is built. Keep things light and simple but don't reveal too much about yourself.

The best thing you can do on a first date is to get to know him. Too many women get this wrong on the first date. They talk about themselves too much and try to impress the guy they're out with. The best thing you can do is figure out what he likes and dislikes as well as his hobbies and pasttimes. Men are alike in some ways but differ greatly in others and to assume that all men are into sports or are chasing financial success is not going to work well for you. Remember, assuming makes an ass out of u and me.

Getting to know him is all good, but you have to let him know you too. Mystery is healthy but too much will make him think you're being insincere. Its safe to tell him as much as he tells you and by that I mean if he talks about his work, talk about yours. If he speaks on hobbies, tell him what you do for relaxation and enjoyment. If he delves into family, then it is up to your discretion as to whether you want to involve him in your personal life so soon.

The things you should be talking about are
-Hobbies and interests
-Work
-Friends

Things to avoid
-Exes
-Finances
-Family

Now this is not set in stone. Different people are different but generally men prefer surface talk during a first date as a means of testing the waters.

If your friends are giving you advice on what to say or do during the date, take it with a pinch of salt. You are the one who is dating this man, not your friends and they can't give you 100% accurate advice. In this case, it may be more beneficial to ask your guy friends for advice than your girlfriends. Precious few men understand women, but most men understand other men. Find the guy friend who is most like your date and ask him how he would respond, react and what he would say and do in the given situation.

Listen and respond. Let him have the floor and speak about himself and he will see you in a different light. Most women out there prattle on and on about themselves with no regard to the guy in front of them. Show your date you're different and he will be hooked in no time!

Want to Publish a Best-Seller? Want to Have a Successful Relationship?

Success at writing a best-seller

Millions of people fantasize about writing and publishing a best-seller. Some even quit their job in order to devote themselves to writing, hoping that when and if their book will sell they will become reach and famous.

But only a minority of them succeeds. The majority don't have the talent it takes to write a good book, nonetheless a best-seller. Some, who are really motivated to succeed, make the effort to attend writing workshops and conferences; to improve their writing skills and techniques. Many others, however, are so convinced in their ability to produce such a book that they refrain from any feedback concerning their writing.

A good friend of mine is a typical example: "Feedback? Anyone knows better than I how I should write my book? No way!" I also heard many stories about people enrolling in a writing workshop, but if they don't receive what they consider a favourable feedback (but one which they perceive as negative), they pack up their bags and leave.

Receiving feedback, so it seems, is not an easy undertaking. But can one really produce a best-seller without a good, constructive, helpful feedback?

Success with an intimate relationship

Some have an inborn talent at communication techniques and interpersonal relationships. Others may need to acquire such ability, either through workshops, counselling and/or books. Yet, whether such a talent is inborn or acquired, many don't seem capable at applying it to their own intimate relationships.

Again, just like with writing, there are those who feel so "great" about themselves that they resist anyone trying to give them feedback about their attitudes, reactions and behaviors with regard to relationships. "Feedback? Anyone knows better than I how I should behave in a relationship? No way!" And no matter how often they fail in their relationships, and no matter how many attempts they have made, they continue failing time and again.

... but they still resist any feedback. They find it easier to blame their dates for their failures; to look the other way when being called to examine their own attitudes and behaviors. They fantasize that the time will come when they'll find "the one and only" with whom they'll be able to develop the intimacy they so much desire. It's all a matter of time, they convince themselves; eventually the right person will cross their pass. In this respect they think just like those who fantasize about writing a best-seller, believing that it's all a matter of finding "the right agent" who'll take them to fame...

... and they wait. And they try dating more and more people. But for some reason - known only to them, and maybe not even to them - they resist any feedback which comes their way. "Feedback?" (they repeat telling themselves), "Anyone knows better than I how I should behave in a relationship?"

It might be sad to see those who so vehemently resist feedback. Do they feel it might shake them out of balance? Do they fear it will force them to look inwards and see things they prefer not to acknowledge in themselves? Are they scared to be confronted with the fact that they are the ones to be blamed for the failure of their relationships?

Those resisting feedback will never tell you honestly what they are afraid of. And your guess is as good as mine.

The sad part is that as long as they resist any feedback they - just like those fantasizing about writing a best-seller but refusing to receive feedback about how to improve their writing - are likely to remain unsatisfied and disillusioned, stuck in their own failures, being unable to develop the relationship they so much desire.

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How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back - You Don't Stand Much of a Chance If You Are Just Her Friend

This is something that you really just have to accept as being the truth if you want to get back with your ex girlfriend and that is, you don't stand much of a chance of being able to get her back if you end up being stuck in the friend zone with her. Once you allow the dynamic to change like that, you are going to find that it becomes harder and harder to make her see you as being anything more than just a friend. While it may feel good to know that you are still "friends" with her, at some point it isn't going to feel so good when you realize that she doesn't even consider getting back with you a possibility.

Why It Doesn't Work to Be Her Friend -

Unlike guys, most women won't cross the line between friendship and something more and if they do, they usually put a lot of thought into it beforehand. With a guy, we'll cross that line without giving it much though, as long as we think she is attractive enough to make it worth it. Most women don't think like that and the moment that you try to be your ex girlfriend's friend is the moment that she no longer considers dating you a possibility. Sure, she'll hang out with you and call you on the phone, but you have next to no chance of being able to progress things with her as long as you are just her friend.

What You Should Be Doing Instead -

Instead of trying to be her friend and allowing her to talk your ear off about things that you don't want to hear about, you have to find a way to make some clear boundaries with her. She has to know that you are not someone that she can talk about guys she likes with. The moment that you hear your ex girlfriend try to get your advice on a guy she likes, that should be a moment where you realize that things definitely are NOT progressing the way that you want them to. However, when you have clear boundaries with her and you don't try to be her friend that she can gab about those kinds of things with, then you do still have some chance of being able to win her back.

That is, as long as you know what techniques work to make her feel like she is still very much attracted to you.

The Do's and Don'ts of a Workplace Love Affair

It's not unusual for two people who are in the same workplace to fall in love. Critics would say it is for convenience since both parties won't have to adjust to different work schedules or different locations. There might be some truth to it but more than convenience, creating relationship with someone in the same workplace as yours root from something else. Given that you spend more time around each other's presence, you both get to know more about each other - what makes her smile or captures her attention and what can frustrate him and how he reacts to things.

Probably everyone of us knows someone who met his or her life partner at work but not all love affairs in the workplace work though. Some last through their lifetime while some, unfortunately, end for various reasons.

Are you in or about to enter a love affair in the workplace? Here are some do's and don't to help you get by.

Do's

• Do consider company rules. Some companies prohibit workers from having relationships while currently employed by them so check out your employee handbook or employment contract before you and your co-worker walk together in love.


• Do maintain professionalism at work. It's not wrong to demonstrate your love to your partner while in the workplace, but remember to reserve those playful and naughty gestures for your alone time, or at least at the end of your work hours. You wouldn't want to get caught by your boss flirting with your partner when you are instead doing your work, do you?

Don'ts

• Don't take advantage of your position in the company. If you are in the managerial position and your partner is under your leadership, don't use your power for his or her advantage. Exercise fairness in the company and give your people the credit (or sanction) due to them. If your partner deserves a raise or promotion, then do so but don't cover him/her up when s/he did something prohibited. After all, a good partner should inspire you to become a better person, not encourage or tolerate wrong doings.


• Don't bring relationship issues at work and vice versa. This is perhaps one of the most common problems affecting relationships. Difficult but it is important to avoid mixing personal and work matters to make the relationship work and still be able to do your job effectively. If you are stressed due to office problems, don't take it out on your partner. Alternatively, if you are having issues with your partner, try not to let it affect your productivity in the office.

Love affairs in the workplace can be challenging yet something you cannot avoid when it hits you. Just don't let your emotions rule over your judgment.

This news article is brought to you by DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE - where latest news are our top priority.

How To Make Out With A Girl in Two Steps

I know that most guys are afraid when they are asked to talk with a hot girl over there. Yeah, that's a normal feeling. Actually, there are guys out there who don't have any courage at all to look at the girl who they really want to date with. Well, people are different. I know it, and you know it as well.

What I'm going to tell you here is that a trick that has been buried for a long time, regarding how to make out with a girl. Of course, this trick can only be used by those who are brave enough to approach a girl. If you are generally nervous toward girls, then I can assure you that this trick won't work on you. However, you can still learn something from this. And I encourage you to do so because it will help you to step forward from a nervous guy into a comfortable guy around girls. Trust me.

The trick itself involves talking with the girl who you want to make out with. Let's suppose that her name is Susan and she is your co-worker. She's not too close to you, but nevertheless you have good communication with her. Then, how can you date her? Are you just telling her that you want to date her? Of course, it's not going to work like that, unless she's already attracted to you in the first place. So, what you need to do here?

If you want to date Susan, then you should do something that will make her attracted to you. Most people are attracted with someone who has similar interests as them. This is a simple psychological truth and I'll tell you that the trick I will mention in this article will be about creating similarities with her. How can you do that? You can do it by tuning yourself to her.

Step one. You need to find her interests. Of course, you'll act as a detective here and try to converse with her about many things. You'll make note about what she likes the most. Thus, the first step is to start a conversation with her. Let it become a natural conversation. Your objective is to find out her interests and you'll take note on those.

Step two. Find out which of her interests resonate with yours. You know, not all things that she likes you'll like. So, you need to find out the things that both of you like. Use this as the basis of your next conversation with her. So basically, this is the elementary step in your approach that will be geared toward building attraction in her.

Next, you have to keep the momentum going. The more you talk with Susan, the more attractive you'll be to her. That's because you have similar interests with her. When the attraction level is enough for you to move forward, you can ask her out for a date. It's as simple as that.

Fake Profiles: The Bane of Online Dating

We've all seen them before. Those profiles that look almost too good to be true, chock full of airbrushed pictures of supermodel caliber people. You wonder, "why is this person on a dating site?" and then quickly abandon the thought because it makes you feel like there's something wrong with you for dating online. And the words... they read as if the person is literally inside of your head, spying on your very thoughts. The similarities and mutual interests are almost uncanny. The eyes don't look like they belong to a serial killer so you decide to give it a shot and send them a message.

Albeit a long-shot you click on the "send" button. What the heck, right?

This is it. Maybe, just maybe, you've found the perfect person.

Wow - they responded to the message! They liked your profile and indicated that they hadn't found anyone yet. You do the "Carleton Dance" because you're so happy! You take your time as you respond, making sure to craft the perfect message back. Then you consider timing. Don't want to seem too anxious but also don't want to let the opportunity slip. After all, this person is absolutely hot and others are surely sending them messages as well.

The emails start off slow at first and then there's something in there that really sparks your interest and you decide to delve further into this new person. It's time to move the conversation offline and to a more intimate medium - the phone. You get just a little antsy about the first call. What's their voice going to sound like? Will it match how their profile looks? No worries... it does! Matter of fact, the conversation is one of the best you've ever had with anyone, including in person. No dead spots, smooth transitions and lengthy talks for hours that don't even feel like it.

The vibe is growing so you begin to drop hints about meeting in person. The object of your affection flirts around with the idea - which makes you want to meet them even more! You both plan for something in the near future and that satisfies you for the moment. Let's say a week goes by after you've both acknowledged the need to meet but the other person hasn't taken action yet. After a while, you begin to think that too much time is elapsing so you're just forthright about it and ask for formal plans.

Then, one of two things happens. Either communication slows to a snail's pace and eventually drops off completely... or their tone changes a bit and they begrudgingly agree to meet. To keep the story going, let's assume the latter happened.

You chalk up what you believe is a bit of hesitation on their part to nerves and reassure them that you really like them and that you don't think the vibe is going to be different when you finally meet. And then... the day arrives.

Perhaps they don't look anything like their profile at all. You wonder how on earth they had the audacity to post a profile of someone completely different but try not to bring it up. You just plan your escape route throughout the date and try to muffle the sense of disappointment you feel about investing so much time into someone that wasn't honest with you.

Or, the likelier scenario... is that it's obvious the profile they posted was how they looked five years or fifty pounds ago.

Your opinion of online dating is forever marred and you vow that you're going to cancel your subscription to the dating site and just try it the conventional way again.

Fake profiles are, in fact, the very bane of every online dating site. Unfortunately, the crimes of a few tend to taint the opinions of many. It doesn't have to be that way though! One way of permanently thwarting the fake profile is for online sites to move to the next logical phase... video profiles! They have the potential to change the dating game forever because they force members into accepting themselves for who they are and portraying that to others.

Ultimately, this is exactly what needs to happen for online dating to continue to evolve. People need to accept who they are, flaws and all, and have some confidence in themselves and the ability of others to see beyond what they might perceive as imperfections. And people that are looking for perfection need to get over themselves and look for what's really important in a person. That can't happen without a forum that strips away the artificiality of online dating and forces people to be real.

If you belong to the unscrupulous crowd that hasn't been honest in the past, put all your cards on the table and stop posting fake profiles. They do nothing but waste everyone's valuable time and unnecessarily tarnish the reputation of online dating. And if you're serious enough about finding love online, don't hide behind the mask of the computer screen. Let people know exactly who they're dealing with. It's only fair and best to be upfront rather than to delay the inevitable that will surely result from lying.

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