dating a guy is fine but if you want to talk to your guy about marriage then you need to ensure that you handle the talk with a lot of tact. Insecure guys will bolt for the stable door the minute they hear the word "marriage" and you need to ensure that your guy is ready before you broach the "M" word.
Check your guy's attitude towards marriage before you talk to him
Before you initiate any talk about marriage you should make sure that your guy is firstly inclined towards marriage. If your guy loves kids, goes misty-eyed during romantic movies, or talks about the future as a couple then he possesses the right attitude for marriage.
Check his reactions before raising the topic of marriage
You can take your boyfriend to a close friend's marriage and check his reactions before raising the topic of marriage. If your guy passes adverse remarks on the institution of marriage or remarks that marrying is a waste of time and money then beware.
Drop subtle hints so as to initiate the talk
Before your actual talk of marriage with your boyfriend, it would be better if you drop verbal hints to him. You can pass remarks about how a friend is happy in his or her marriage or how the arrival of kids has changed the life of a close one. If your boyfriend concurs with your views then the topic can be stretched to include your thoughts on how your life would change after marriage.
Start the discussion with an open mind
Inform your boyfriend that you would like to initiate the discussion on marriage with an open mind. This will make him feel comfortable and he might be able to discuss any inhibitions or doubts that he might have on the topic. If he shows optimism in spite of having a few reservations then these problems can easily be solved as long as the bigger picture of marriage is clear in both your minds.
Do not pressurize your boyfriend
You should not pressurize your boyfriend or try to emotionally blackmail him in a bid to make him agree to your views. He might simply panic and bolt right out of your life. Instead, make your guy comfortable by telling him that you do not need an immediate answer although you should tactfully include that it is still an important decision that needs to be made in the near future.
Do not get verbally aggressive
If your guy offers his views that do not match your own then do not start arguing with him in a bid to compel him to agree to your own views. Your talk might just start to go downhill from that point. Instead, try to understand his point of view while letting him digest your own. You might find that he could agree to your views after a few days of serious thought.
Try to alleviate his fears on marriage
Some guys have fixed fears on marriage, especially if they have seen a few failures before their very eyes. You should try to alleviate your guy's fears by offering logical explanations so that his fears are laid to rest permanently. Your guy would not only be relieved but also be ready to pop that eternal question.
This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.
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