Somewhere about 10-12 years ago, an underground scene kind of exploded and got some attention from people that normally did not notice it at all. It was the pick up artist scene, and when men started to find this kind of advice available on the web, things changed for a lot of guys. That was a good thing, as a lot of average men got the chance to learn some techniques to pick up and attract women, and they got to learn some dating advice that they would not have normally gotten.
With every good, there has to be a little bad that comes out of it. One of those bad things is that a lot of guys started to parrot this idea that there were rules that men had to follow, rules that were set in stone or else they were going to fail to get women. You know, I always like to point out the fact that you really don't have to follow a rigid set of rules when it comes to getting women, and the more experience and success that you get, the more you will see this to be true.
Because of these rules, a lot of men end up missing their chances, just because they are trying to play by the book. Problem is, life is not a book, it's dynamic and always changing, and not every woman is going to respond in the same way or to the same things.
Here are 3 rules that I see men follow like they are set in stone that make me laugh, because a lot of the time... they end up causing more harm than good.
Rule #1- The man always has to end the conversation first.
What this rule springs up from, is that most guys will linger around a woman just a little bit too long. So, they are making a pretty good impression, but they don't know when to leave or to end things, and that ends up making them seem less valuable or desirable to a woman. In some instances, it can be good to follow this rule. In others, it will prevent you from getting any further with a woman.
One of the things that I have seen when guys try hard to follow this rule by the book, is that they end the conversation just for the sake of being the one to end the conversation. How unnatural is that? If the conversation is going good and the sparks are really flying, it does NOT matter who ends the conversation. A woman is not going to be feeling like she is head over heels for you and then stop, realize that you did not end the conversation first and suddenly feel no attraction to you.
While the principle behind this rule may be solid, as in you don't want to linger too long, it's not always the best thing to do to try and be the one to end the conversation first. Like I said, if you do your job of making her want you, it does not matter at all if she ends the conversation or if you do. What matters is the attraction that she feels for you.
Rule # 2- You always have to act as if you have something better to do.
I've seen this rule presented in many different forms, and it is based on the premise that you need to show a woman that you are very valuable and that you have a very active life going on. This sounds reasonable on the surface... until you get down to day to day life. See, basically this is another act that you are supposed to put on to make yourself seem like a guy who is always on the go, a guy that will make her life better.
For that reason, it can be a good thing. You definitely don't want a woman to think that you have no life or that being with you will be boring. Here is the rub, though. There are times when not having anything better to do than to hang out with a woman or spend time with her will work wonders.
Here's an example of what I mean: You are having a boring Saturday, not much to do. You've gotten a number recently from a woman and you want to give her a call. Spending time with her would be more fun than just sitting on the couch, no? So, you call her up and you let her know that you are not going anything and guess what? She says she isn't either and that gives YOU the perfect opportunity to get up with her to do something.
Had you played up the old, I've got something better to do, you would have never gotten that opportunity. Look, most women, even good looking women live just as boring of a life as you do. There is nothing wrong with letting a woman know that you are not doing anything and that you are free to do something with her.
Rule # 3- You have to "peacock" to get attention or to stand out.
This rule sprang up because a guy named Mystery who is regarded to be one of the best pick up artists in the world did this and most guys are followers and copycats, so they did it too. If you don't already know, peacocking means that you wear something that will intentionally stand out and get lots of attention. Wearing a crazy hat, a necklace that grabs attention, anything that stands out.
Again, this is built on a pretty solid principle that you want to stand out in a crowd and have something that makes you seem unique and it gets conversations started. All very good things. But, it took on a life of it's own and now you have a new wave of would be pick up artists who think that they have to peacock or else they won't get girls. So, you see a lot of guys in trendy clubs all wearing things to try and make them standout.
Here's the rub on this one: If every guy is peacocking, none of them are really standing out or unique, are they? Besides, if you know how to get a woman's attention without the extra get up, and wearing that extra get up does not fit your personality, why bother?
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