Codependence In Your Life

CODEPENDENCE

People that are codependent have grown up in homes in which their parents relied too heavily on each other for emotional support. They watched in disgust as their parents cheated on each other and mistreated each other in other ways. They stayed together long past the point when they should have called it quits. From this experience, the child learned that they were incapable of making it as a healthy and independent adult. The codependent unconsciously thinks they can't make it without a mate, they are worthless without a mate, and that they are not good enough, along with a host of other negative thoughts. Consciously, they may vow not to become their parents.

The codependent and their love relationships
These people are drawn to relationships that start off hot and heavy. Because of their strong need to bond with another individual, they often get seriously involved early on in the relationship. Their mate, who is usually also a codependent, is always available, loving, and affectionate in the beginning. This is a dream come true for the codependent who constantly craves attention. This is until they begin to feel suffocated by their mate's possessive and jealous personality. They take up all their free times and isolate them from their friends and family. Their mate may demand too much not only emotionally, but also financially and mentally as well. The codependent thinks they are in love, although they soon become miserable, lonely, and depressed. To other people it may appear that this couple is in love because of the amount of time they spend together and the length of time the relationship can continue. Healthy men can be attracted to the dependent personality. However, they are just as quickly turned off by her clingy personality and disappear or they may stick around to take advantage of their generous ways.

Codependents and their interaction with family and friends
But, they have a tendency to be very self-absorbed. They ignore other people's wants and needs in order to get what they want and need. They are short-term thinkers who constantly seek instant gratification. The codependent doesn't mean to hurt any one. But, they are often too involved with holding on to their waning relationship to give them the love and attention they deserve. Their family will always be here, they may be thinking, but they may secretly know their relationship will not be. It is also a possibility that they are too ashamed of who they have become within their relationship to show their face. If the codependent is not involved in a love relationship, they may behave in a similar fashion with their family and friends. They may keep too close of an eye on their children and prevent them from hanging out with their friends. They may seem to be mean and unrelenting, but really they are desperate not to be alone. When hanging out with their friends, the codependent may get upset when their friends invite someone else along. They can also be too loyal towards their friends.

When the codependent tries to become more independent
Once the codependent tries to stand on their own two feet, their mate may become afraid that they will get left behind. Desperate to hold on, they may become violent, verbally abusive, and manipulative.

Codependents at work
It can be hard for the codependent to function at work due to their constantly changing emotions. And, because of the volatile nature of their relationship, they often have to quit coming to work or call out often due to family emergencies. Without an attachment they are very capable of doing a good job at work and making wise decisions. However, they have the tendency to allow themselves to be mistreated by their coworkers and supervisors and they may neglect to ask for raises or promotions because of their self-esteem issues.

How to get out of a codependent relationship
If the codependents lover is abusive, it is important that you leave right away. A good time to leave is when they are not at home. Otherwise, the codependent must stand their ground and do what is right for themselves and their family. The codependents mate may or may not come around. They can also benefit from counseling.

This article is brought to you by PERSONALS.

How to Get Him to Like Me? The Answer Is Simple

"How to get him to like me?" This is just one of the many questions that keep lingering in a woman's mind when she finally finds a man she adores, who either treats her as nothing but a good friend or doesn't even know she exists. Being in this type of situation can really take a toll on a woman's self-esteem. So, here is a list of ways to get a man to notice you and see you as more than just a friend.

The very first thing you have to do when you start asking yourself questions such as "how to get him to like me" is to transform yourself into the person that any guy would like. In doing so, you can find out what part of your personality needs fixing and how you can look amazing.

Now, when it comes to your personality, one of the vital things you need to develop is self-esteem. As you may know, guys love and adore women who are confident. Also, try to look for the negative aspects of your personality. For example, are you too loud? Are you a couch potato? Are you a nagger or boastful? Then, when you find out what negative characteristics you have, you need to do everything you can to change them.

Just in case you are having a hard time assessing yourself, you can ask your friends and family members to help you figure out your personality. Or, if you don't want to subject them to this kind of hardship, then maybe you can get help from a professional.

As you work on your personality or after working on your personality, the next thing on your agenda should be to work on the way you look. Experiment on what hairstyle and what hair color looks best on you. Then, try to look for clothes that can compliment your best physical features without making you look like an easy woman. Also, when picking the right clothes for you, make sure to pick ones that can help emphasize both your personality and your overall confidence.

Just remember, that your ultimate goal here is to make sure that you become beautiful both inside and out. So, try to work on your character as well as your appearance at the same time.

Then, after developing yourself, the next step you need to take is to find out what you're looking for in a guy and what you want to have in a relationship. A piece of advice; never let yourself go through life without finding out what you really want in a relationship and in a guy. Many women who take this step for granted go through half their lives not having the kind of relationship they really want or worse not finding any relationship at all.

This step will not only help you find the most suitable man for you, but it will also give you the kind of relationship you really want and deserve. Not only these, but it can also help you avoid a lot of potential heartaches.

After which, the next step to answer your question, "How to get him to like me", is to catch a man's attention. Say you saw a man you like, why don't you pass in front of him and give him a very discreet but very lovely smile? Don't worry though, because it is really easy to catch a guy's attention. As long as you look stunning and smell great, you can definitely make him glance at you. Just don't forget to smile at him in a discreet but appealing when you finally get his attention.

This article is brought to you by PERSONALS.

Get Me a Boyfriend Online! The Answer to Your Online Dating Dilemmas

Get me a boyfriend online! To answer your demands, first you need to have some background on online dating. This type of dating is often considered as the quickest and easiest way to find love. Those who are too busy to spare time from their work would agree to this. Some people would say it's a waste of time and it's unsafe. It's not worthless nor is it unsafe as long as you take the right precautions.

If you're demanding to "get me a boyfriend online," then you can't be one of those people who make hasty decisions and immediately open up to people you don't really know. Patience is required here. Some of the safety measures to consider when it comes to Internet dating are:

· Background checks to eliminate profiles of people with criminal records

· Protected personal details and photos

· Paid membership to reduce fake profiles created by underage members or those who are just looking for fun

· "Help" or "report concern" buttons in case there is inappropriate behavior

· IP address monitoring to track records of users

Another thing you need to figure out is how to create a dating profile. It has to be short and concise because if it's too long then you won't create a good impression. It's better to keep it casual and friendly and introduce yourself by giving your name, personality, hobbies, and education details. You should also mention what you are looking for.

Here's an example of a good dating profile:

"I am a smart and outgoing girl who is looking for a responsible yet fun-loving guy. I like to read, sing, try out different foods, and go for long drives. I want a well-educated guy who is funny and witty but at the same time, I want to be able to share my thoughts and feelings with him. I want someone who is open-minded and would understand me better."

When you do sign up for online dating, a guy or ten may be interested in you. They would send you messages and chat with you and out of curiosity, you would reply to them. What you need to learn now is how to talk to men online.

· Be sure not to go overboard when it comes to feelings. Don't reveal all the information about yourself to a guy and also don't tell him about the image you have created of him. You can be a bit open once you get to know more about him. But keep the information to a minimum if he's a stranger.

· Smiley faces and lol's also work. Even if the humor or joke is a pathetic attempt to put you at ease, put an "lol" or a smiley face to encourage him. He could be just as nervous as you are so when he tries to make you more comfortable or break the ice, reciprocate.

· Get me a boyfriend online? Then make sure that you show interest in some of the things he is interested in. This trick works whether you are meeting a guy offline or online. It's also a great way to keep the conversation going well. If you show the slightest interest in some of the things he likes, then he will brighten up and get chatty.

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The Rules of Calling a Girl

When you want to ask out a woman or keep developing a relationship that you've started, the phone can be a great tool. Alas, there are rules to this, or guidelines if you rather. The following information can help you know not only when to call a girl and how, but also what you should say when you do call. First, let's go over when you should call your chosen lady.

The When

First, let's assume you've already got the number to call, so now you need to know when to call her. Even if you really like her and want to talk to her right away after a date or after you get her number, restrain yourself for at least two days. You don't want to look like a desperate fool or a stalker, so just hold off for two days. There are some people that say to go a week, but this can backfire as she may think you weren't interested in her after all.

The How

A good rule of thumb is to text her first. If you get a response (depending on what it is), then you know she likes you at least and may even call you instead. Oh, and whatever you do, don't be an idiot and call her at 2 a.m. or while you know she's likely working. Most importantly, call once and that's it. If she answers, talk to her; if not, leave a message maybe. Calling her over and over until she answers gives off that stalker wave. Don't be that guy.

What You Should Say

Ok, so you called her and said "Hello?" Now what? Obviously you have to tell her who you are, but give her time to recall who you are. If you only dated once or just met and talked and you got her number before you went home, you might not be at the very front of her mind. If you did have a date, mention it. If you talked for a while and she mentions something that she previously discussed with you like some kind of appointment that she had, ask her how it went. It's iron-clad proof you thought she was interesting enough to pay attention to what she had to say.

Of course, the most important thing to tell her is your reason for calling her. If it's to ask her out, it may not be a good idea to just up and ask her out on a date. Try inviting her to go with you to somewhere you're already going. A good example would be: "Some friends and I were going to see a movie. I was wondering if you'd like to go with us." An invitation keeps things open and comfortable. Truly asking her out on a date should always be done in person. Keep to these guidelines and you will do well. Good luck, and if you wish to know more about when and how to call or what to say to a girl, just ask. I'll answer.

Online Dating Facts For Over 40s - Part Two

A huge 55% of online daters have reported being a victim to some sort of scam or deception whilst looking for love on the web so it's important to keep your wits about you at all times and never give away personal details such as your phone number, home address or bank details and always let a friend or family member know exactly where you are going and who with when you do decide to meet your date in person. A slightly out-dated photo is one thing, but if someone sounds too good to be true... they probably aren't. Always trust your instincts and if in doubt, confide in a friend.

The plus side to this situation is that you can delete an uncomfortable relationship at the click of a button with minimal chances of repercussions. On the downside however, this method of breaking-up on the internet is widely used, with no explanation. Instead of treating soon-to-be-ex-partners with the respect they deserve and telling them face-to-face or at least on the phone, the general procedure tends to be the distancing method whereby you hear less and less from the other person and eventually they either block you from their email or simply disappear in to cyberspace, never to be heard from again...

Hopefully if you are in the situation whereby you no longer wish to see someone, you will have the decency to consider the other persons feelings. However, if you're planning on exploring the online world of dating it is highly advised that you prepare yourself for a few knock backs, harsh breakups and several bad dates. Don't let this put you off though, every date is a new experience and allows you to learn more about yourself, the opposite sex and what it is that you do and don't want from a relationship.

Before you sign up to an online dating service, make sure that you are clear about what you are looking for and what you have to offer. Dating in your 40s has its advantages; you've lived through a lot and now know that you don't need to settle for less! Confidence is the key to finding that special someone, so take some time-out to re-get-to-know-yourself, indulge in a hobby that you've been putting off, buy a new outfit, get a haircut, spend some quality time with friends and family and discover what you have to offer the world of dating!

Kate Moss or Victoria Secret Model - Which Body Type Turns Men On the Most?

There's a body war going on out there, and women are confused as to which one turns men on more. Do men prefer skinny women or thick women? Do they want a skeleton or a woman with curves? Keep reading to know the secret to the body type that men prefer the most.

Television and movie stars generally lead you to believe you need to be thin to be attractive and thus women tend to go for this look. However, you can be heading for health problems if take this look to the extreme, as many of these celebrities do if reports are true.

That anorexic body may be pushed by Hollywood, but it's dangerous to your health. It is risky and quite frankly is not attractive to most men. Not only that, you could lose your man over it. While men have different preferences as to what's attractive, most men will turn away from you if you look like that. You look unhealthy and unappealing and did I mention the health risks? Eating provides nutrients so you don't get sick and if you look too thin, like you might snap in half if you were given a hug, a man is not likely going to want to be with you.

A lot of women want to look curvaceous so they will look good but might see a plastic surgeon to get it. While the curvy look is gaining popularity, having fake parts is sure to turn a man off. That healthy or "thick" body isn't bad, but it will be if half of your body parts are made of plastic or who knows what. If you aren't naturally curvy, just make the best of what you have. In other words, be yourself and be healthy.

So, the debate continues. Do you go for the skinny or for the curves? Men in general like that middle-of-the-road body. They don't like their women too big nor too small. Too skinny or too curvy tends to drive off the guys, especially if those curves are fake.

A woman who is fit and healthy will attract more men than the woman who is too small or too big. If you look like you aren't afraid of food and the gym, or at least a daily walk, guys will notice you. A healthy lifestyle will give you more energy and you will be happier overall. That natural, healthy woman will attract a man without a doubt.

As in all things, balance is the key. You can have that body that is healthy and attractive without starving yourself or letting yourself go. If you'd like some more info on how to get this balanced body, I will gladly share some tips with you to get it naturally, without surgery or starvation.

This article is brought to you by SINGLES.

Taking Your First Date To A Friend's Party - Good Idea Or Bad?

You are about to go on a date with a person and you've been invited to a friend's party at the same time. Should you just take your new date to the party? It seems to be the obvious answer, but here are several reasons why you may want to reconsider taking your date to any friend-hosted function.

You Don't Know The Person

Even if you've spoken with your date in person or on the phone or even if you've exchanged a hundred emails, you have no idea who this person is. The first date should be spent making sure the two of you are compatible and that's hard to do around a bunch of your friends. What if the person turns out to be a complete psycho and now you've invited the person into your friend's house? Take your date to a coffee shop instead and leave parties for subsequent dates where you're a little more familiar with the person and their personality.

Under The Spotlight

If you take your first date to a party full of your friends, your date might feel as though he/she is being scrutinized at every turn, and they'd be right to a certain extent, wouldn't they? Your friends are always going to look out for your best interests and good friends will tell you quickly if they don't like your new date. This might cause the person to act fake or unnatural in an effort to appease your friends. At any rate, that type of environment won't allow you to get to know anyone in any intimate capacity. You're better off at a restaurant or even a quiet park where you two can get to know one another in private.

What If You Don't Like The Person?

A very good reason not to take your first date to a friend's party is because you might not like your date. When you're at a restaurant or coffee shop and you don't like the date's direction, you can just excuse yourself at any time. Are you going to have the intestinal fortitude to kick your date out of your friend's party the moment things turn south? Or are you going to suck it up and continue to hang out with the person, ruining your good time and your date's? Of course you never expect a date to go sour, but it can happen. Take your date somewhere else and make sure you have an exit strategy planned in case your date turns out to be a dud.

A friend's party sounds like a great time and a perfect place to take someone you're trying to get to know better, but a first date is tricky. Find someplace a little more private and personal and you'll have a much better time.