online dating is a great way to meet new people and signing up to a dating site gives you instant access to a huge database of people you can interact and hopefully form a lasting relationship with. But as with any community, not everyone you will cross paths with is going to be a well-balanced and rational human being and it is not uncommon to come across individuals who refuse to take "no" for an answer and persist in harassing you online. So if this is happening to you, learn how to get rid of someone stalking you online.
What is the definition of an online stalker?
An online stalker is anyone who persists in contacting you even when you have made it quite clear you are not interested. On a dating site, you may find yourself the recipient of hundreds of unwanted messages from one person, typically someone you ignored or possibly rejected previously. If the stalker is a former date, or someone you have met in person, the stalking can filter through into other areas of your life, particularly if the stalker has your email address and other contact details.
Why do some people start a stalking campaign?
Some individuals cannot take rejection. Even when you have told the person you are not interested, they refuse to accept it and still persist in instant messaging, texting, emailing and calling you, often hundreds of times during the course of an average day. To begin with such attention can be rather flattering-after all, they must really think you're worth having if they refuse to take no for an answer-but before long, such unwanted attention is creepy and a little bit frightening.
How to get rid of someone stalking you online
Tactics for dealing with online stalkers vary depending on how serious the stalking has become.
- Unwanted messages on an online dating site: if your stalker has no other way of contacting you other than via the internal messaging service of the dating website, simply block their identity and if they persist by creating a new one so they can continue harassing you, contact the site admin or suspend your membership until the stalker moves on.
- Unwanted emails and other online contact: if your stalker has your email address or knows your identities on social networking sites, block them. Never be tempted to answer their messages as this only serves to encourage their twisted fantasies, although it is a good idea to keep the messages they send in case you need to produce evidence at a later date.
- Should your stalker take their harassment to the next level and start writing abusive stuff about you online, either by leaving vile posts on Facebook or composing vicious and defamatory blog posts, you need to report them as this is a serious offense. Collect as much evidence as you can (take screen shots and print them off) and contact your local law enforcement authority for further advice.
What should I do if the stalking escalates from online to the real world?
- Once a stalker has your phone number, the harassment becomes a lot more real and they can make your life truly miserable. Changing your number will solve the problem, but this is not always practical, especially if the number is tied to work or your business, so in this instance, consider buying a phone with a "block number" facility to screen their calls and text messages. Some phones have this useful feature built into the options and it can be invaluable.
- If online stalking crosses over into the real world and your stalker starts hanging around outside your place of work or following you in the street, it is time to call the police and make an official complaint. I am not suggesting that your stalker is potentially homicidal, but at the very least they need professional help and a chat from a friendly law enforcement officer might be enough to encourage them to seek counseling for their issues.
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