"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
Yes, our head to toe self assessment begins with an unseen part of the human psyche that we are terrified others will see straight through. It is safe to say that confidence among men is not at an all time high. And when it comes to women, few men honestly believe they possess what it takes to successfully navigate the turbulent feminine waters. The irony of it all is what women want most in a man is what men most sorely lack. Get that? I've read hundreds of women's profiles, maybe more. I'm convinced that confidence is a universally desired trait that women crave in a man. If you possess this quality, you are in the game. If you don't, the good news is it's an attainable trait.
Now you may be thinking, "I get it, except I have all the confidence of a flea, and women treat me like one. I've been that way all my life and I know it will never change."
Over and over, Masterdate preaches the necessity to work on the critical areas you need to change so dating success can be achieved. Confidence is not the exclusive right or domain of the ultra handsome and extremely successful. Increased confidence occurs as a man becomes increasingly satisfied with who he is as a man.
Some guys who are reading this may have been thoroughly crushed by the relentless storms of life. A pep talk by a dating advisor or a list of suggestions to build your confidence is not going to be enough. The guys in that situation need to be man enough to get professional help. It takes a big pair to say I have a problem and I am going to do whatever it takes to get it fixed.
As I write this, I am following the Yankees / Orioles game on the web. Mark Reynolds, third baseman for Baltimore, is mired in a horrific slump. It is so awful he is giving the word slump a bad name. He finished the first month of the season with no home runs, an average of a buck and a quarter and nearly half of his at-bats ended in strikeouts. The man slugged thirty-seven home runs last year. The biggest difference right now is a dire lack of confidence. You know what he's doing to fix the problem? He's spending extra hours in the batting cage, working on his stance and studying film to review his mechanics. In other words, he is working on his weaknesses.
It is exactly what he should be doing. You can do that too, right? Are you out of shape? Join a gym, begin a walking program, enroll in P90X. Start slow so you don't hurt yourself.
Do you feel uncomfortable around women? Join groups that put you in situations where you are surrounded by them, like Zumba or traditional dance classes. Go out of your way to say hello to female coworkers and neighbors. Look them in the eye as you converse.
Finally, if you have trouble expressing your sense of humor, another vital ingredient in the recipe of attraction, memorize some jokes. Stand in front of a mirror and practice until you have them down. Then practice in front of friends. Make sure you do not rush your delivery and find jokes that tickle the funny bone of men and women. Every guy should have at least three jokes in his arsenal that he can deliver flawlessly. I had to work on this for months to get it right. There is enormous confidence building power in possessing the ability to make people laugh.
Remember Rocky's speech after his epic battle with Drago in Rocky IV? "If you can change, and I can change, then we all can change." Don't be afraid of the work. It will help you become a changed man, a confident man.
When it comes to growing in confidence, these suggestions are just scratching the surface. Of course there is more than this. I have a lot of growing to do myself in this area. But this is a good start. Let's keep learning together.
Postscript: Last night (May 4), Mark Reynolds hit a home run, a double and a sacrifice fly in the Orioles win over the Red Sox. Hard work yields results, causing confidence to increase; it's a principle that leads to success.
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