The key to getting your ex back doesn't lie in the past, it lies in the future. It's about changing the way your ex feels. If you can revive the attraction between you, then forgetting the past will become much easier, because they will want to forgive you. Give you ex a vision of a fulfilling future with the person they first fell in love with, and they will start to regret their decision to breakup with you. Read on to find out how you can do this.
Boost Your Social Value
Being dumped crushes your self-esteem, and makes it hard to keep your view of yourself as a high status, high value person. But it's crucial to try to revive your social status if you want to get your ex back. Everybody wants what everybody else wants. So go out and show your ex that you are a great catch by reviving your social life. Lots of people let their friendships slip when they are in a committed relationship, so start seeing your friends regularly; go out and be seen having a good time.
Try to be seen in mixed groups having fun with the opposite sex, as this will skyrocket your desirability factor. Pay attention to your appearance, as this is a reflection of how you are feeling inside. You don't want to make your unhappiness obvious, especially to your ex. So avoid shabby clothes and drab colours, and pep up your natural style a bit. Get yourself a bit of a makeover if necessary, but don't try to become someone else in the process. Looking stylish and classy is the key.
Show Your Ex an Amazing Future
Remember the things you always meant to do one day? This is the time. Don't offer your ex a future filled with more of the same. Start filling you life with interesting and exciting things that they will want to share with you. Imaging hearing about a trip your ex made - how would it make you feel? Envious? Wishing you had made it together? This is what you want to do to your ex. Don't sit at home and mope. As hard as it may be, try to fill your life with activity and fun. Get people talking about what you are up to these days.
Everybody feels the kudos of having a desirable romantic partner. Give your ex a few surprises and they will soon start to wonder whether they did the right thing.
Don't Cut Them Off
Although it's better not to contact your ex immediately after a breakup, you shouldn't try to cut them out of your life completely. If you see them when you are out, don't ignore them. Instead have a light, friendly conversation, avoiding anything to do with the breakup. Keep it short, and be the first to leave, making it clear that you are busy and haven't got time to stop.
Try to forget any bitterness you feel towards them and only project positives vibes. Drop some hints about the exciting things you are doing, but don't go into any details. You want to intrigue them and make them wonder why you are not more upset and miserable. If your ex mentions the breakup, just agree that it was for the best and don't dwell on it. Do the same if you run into their friends. This is especially effective if your ex is not speaking to you. You want news of you moving on with your life to reach them, so use their friends to your advantage.
Be Patient
Accept that things aren't going to change overnight. It will take time for the impression you are trying to create to grow upon your ex. The more effort you put into making positive changes and moving on, the greater the chance of awakening feelings of doubt and regret in them.
Comfort yourself that you are getting in control of your life, and that whatever happens you are laying the foundations of a happy future. Keep the inevitable low moments private and always present a positive face to the world. Remember that you are trying to remind your ex that they are losing a valuable and desirable prize in you. Believing this is what will make them want to come back.
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