Getting to Know Him on a First Date

The best time to lay the groundwork for a great relationship is on the first date. But what will keep the relationship going is how much you reveal about yourself and how much of him you get to know. Successful dating begins with communication both verbal and physical. Keeping him interested is a delicate dance and few women understand it well.

First off is conversation. Its a conversation, not a narration of everything you've ever done. Nor is it a psychiatry session where you listen to everything he has to say. There has to be some sort of exchange going on. It may be that you feel compelled to tell him about everything from how you got a wedgie in high school to the first night you got attacked by a vicious Chihuahua but don't! Conversation is the cornerstone on which everything is built. Keep things light and simple but don't reveal too much about yourself.

The best thing you can do on a first date is to get to know him. Too many women get this wrong on the first date. They talk about themselves too much and try to impress the guy they're out with. The best thing you can do is figure out what he likes and dislikes as well as his hobbies and pasttimes. Men are alike in some ways but differ greatly in others and to assume that all men are into sports or are chasing financial success is not going to work well for you. Remember, assuming makes an ass out of u and me.

Getting to know him is all good, but you have to let him know you too. Mystery is healthy but too much will make him think you're being insincere. Its safe to tell him as much as he tells you and by that I mean if he talks about his work, talk about yours. If he speaks on hobbies, tell him what you do for relaxation and enjoyment. If he delves into family, then it is up to your discretion as to whether you want to involve him in your personal life so soon.

The things you should be talking about are
-Hobbies and interests
-Work
-Friends

Things to avoid
-Exes
-Finances
-Family

Now this is not set in stone. Different people are different but generally men prefer surface talk during a first date as a means of testing the waters.

If your friends are giving you advice on what to say or do during the date, take it with a pinch of salt. You are the one who is dating this man, not your friends and they can't give you 100% accurate advice. In this case, it may be more beneficial to ask your guy friends for advice than your girlfriends. Precious few men understand women, but most men understand other men. Find the guy friend who is most like your date and ask him how he would respond, react and what he would say and do in the given situation.

Listen and respond. Let him have the floor and speak about himself and he will see you in a different light. Most women out there prattle on and on about themselves with no regard to the guy in front of them. Show your date you're different and he will be hooked in no time!