Every relationship has its share of disagreements. Verbal disagreements are not only normal, but they are classed as being healthy and necessary in order for the relationship to grow. But how much is normal? What level of fighting is considered to be too much fighting?
If a couple argues about the same issues over and over again, such as money for example, then this is obviously an area they need to work on. The stress of having continual money issues can chip away at any relationship, no matter how healthy it is. This is perfectly natural. But when a couple argues about everything, no matter how big or small it may be, then there is a major problem.
A lot has to do with how the couple fights, too. Having an argument is one thing, but when any argument you have becomes a personal attack, this is a sign there is definitely something else going on. You may start out arguing about being late and by the end, it has turned into how messy the person is around the house and what is being said is maybe cruel and mean.
How did you make that leap... because it didn't have anything to do with being late? That was just the most recent excuse to start-up a fight. There is an underlying problem that sits in limbo until an opportunity presents itself. No matter how small the issue is, it is now an opportunity to unload on one another.
How do you know if you are fighting too much? Most couples instinctively know. They come to realize every issue, no matter how minute, is going to end up in a fight. So, in order to keep the peace (at least some of the time), they avoid discussing anything unless a major issue arises. This is why the amount of fighting you endure is based on communication. The couple really doesn't know how to communicate without it turning into a knock-down-drag-out fight.
There should only be a few major areas in your life that should result in a "fight". The rest of the issues should be only "small arguments" or even "snippy disagreements". Both of these are usually over with quickly and after a few minutes, peace is made.
What are the major issues? Usually money, family and work. One of those can be substituted out for something else, but as a whole, there should only be roughly three major issues that could result in a fight. But this doesn't mean anytime you discuss these subjects is grounds to erupt into an altercation.
This article is brought to you by PERSONALS.
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