Rekindling Your Relationship - Can You Get the Sparks Back With Your Man?

Rekindling your relationship that has been on the rocks for a while now can be quite tricky to do. If you have no idea where to start because your romance with your boyfriend has practically become platonic, then here's an article to help you out.

Learn to Yield

Problems in a relationship usually start when one of the people in the couple refuses to admit their mistakes or flaws. Because they want to win the fight so badly, these couples then forget about their love and throw everything out of the window. So, if you end up doing your boyfriend wrong next time or just can't seem to see things from his eyes, then try to just let things slide for a change.

Letting things slide can help in rekindling your relationship because it will show him that you are more mature now and are ready to let small trivialities go. Naturally, you will have to make sure that you can actually back up this new and mature you, as well. Putting on a brave face just to go back to the way things were a few weeks later won't help either of you - remember that.

Bottle Up the Anger

Even if it was your boyfriend who wronged you and said something to make you angry, you need to learn how to forgive him. After all, if you are still angry with him, how can rekindling your relationship even be possible? If you need time to think about what happened and to find out whether the fight was really something worth fighting about, then take some time away from your man for now.

Once you have had some time, assess your emotions and figure out a way to talk to him about it. If you want to fix things, then make sure you are gentle and civil when talking to him; otherwise, you could just start a whole new fight altogether.

Drive Him Wild

If rekindling your relationship is your top priority right now and there isn't actually anything big that you fought about, then you might want to pull out all of the stops, don a sexy outfit and drive your man wild with it. Although this might seem a bit sneaky to you, it is sure to help you put your foot into the door and seduce his socks off. After all, men are visual creatures, so doing this is sure to bring the heat up in no time.

How to Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You Like Crazy So He Will Want You Back

Wanting to make an ex boyfriend feel like he misses you like crazy generally means that you are not really over him and that you would like to be able to have a chance at getting back together with him and start a new relationship that will last. It's only natural that if you feel like you miss him badly, that you would want him to feel the same exact way that you do. If you feel like you have already tried many things to make him feel like he misses you like crazy, you are not alone. However, just because you have tried many things, it doesn't mean that you have tried the right things.

Here's how to make your ex boyfriend miss you like crazy:

1. He can't really miss you if you have not gone away, so you need to be low key and not have much of any contact with him for a little while.

Have you ever spent time away from someone and found that during that time away from them, you realized just how important that they were to you? I am sure that you have, you might even be going through that right now when you think about your ex boyfriend. If you want to make him feel as though he misses you like crazy, then you have to cut off contact with him for a little while so that he DOES get to sense your absence in his life.

2. He'll be a lot more likely to miss you if you seem to be happier without him.

It's funny that it can work out this way, but quite often, it does. When you give him the impression that without him in your life, you are happier, it's going to make him think about you. He might be wondering why you are coming across that way or he might just be curious as to what you are doing now that you and he have broken up. This is good because you want to stay in the back of his mind.

3. Knowing that you are improving yourself can also make him feel like he is missing you.

Another good thing to do if you want to make your ex boyfriend feel as though he is missing you is to improve things in your life so that you come across as even more attractive to him than you did before. When an ex boyfriend sees that you are improving your life and your situation, it is going to make him want to be a part of that and that is going to help in making him feel as though he misses being with you.

The Right Balance of Attention Paid

This is particularly relevant to consider in dealing with those who could be considered possessive - the anxiously attached. I find that sense of spiritual identity in me, to a certain extent, and so I'm therefore 'qualified' to write on this - about how others have successfully interacted with me, for example.

Sometimes it is appropriate (read, "helpful") to give someone a lot of attention - to feed their gaping desire for love, but much of the time we do not love them best (or, we simply do not love them) by placating them. Placating, or appeasing, may be more about our own anxious needs than theirs.

Each person must be encouraged to sink or swim of their own accord; to take responsibility for their own lives.

We shouldn't go on and on rescuing people, as we do them harm by creating a circumstance of reliance.

The foreseeable exceptions are these:

IN GRIEF:

When someone's been stricken by a loss of any kind we could expect them to cling to a safe mooring (in us) as they weather the storm of their grief.

They'll need someone or a couple of people with whom to rest with and journey with.

Within the acuteness of grief's pain there should be solace in connecting with people if that is the need. But equally, as carers, we need to discern when to leave people as they are to do their own processing. Again, we need to ask ourselves, "Who are we really trying to support when we desire to help people?" Sometimes people try and support others out of their own needs in order to feel good. But in this scenario, no one benefits.

IN GROWTH:

When people intentionally put themselves in the path of growth and learning - because God has kindled their hunger - they may be safely attached to a mentor for specific guided activities.

Both parties of this mentoring arrangement are blessed. That's the guide that all is working well. Whenever there is an encumbrance on one party, a burden so-to-speak, it's no longer about growth; and an unhealthy dependence has formed.

But when growth is at the forefront, we can afford to pour our attention into people.

***

Balancing the giving of attention is the art of wisdom in relationships. We shouldn't neglect people, nor should we rescue them. Each has to live their life without depending on other people too much. But when people are suffering and they need us, any positive attention we give them, at the time, is good attention.

We shouldn't rescue people from situations they should be handling themselves, with two exceptions: in grief and in growth. The grieving need our support, and the growing need our encouragement. Balancing the attention we pay to people is a mark of discerned wisdom.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

Self-Protector Or Learner - Which Are You?

THE SELF-PROTECTOR

Like everyone else, you can become a defensive "self-protector" when you feel unsafe, even if you are unaware of it. Feeling threatened and becoming self-protective is a normal part of life for everyone!

The problem is when you become inappropriately defensive or get stuck in defensive self- protectiveness. Ah, there's the problem. Inappropriate or repeated defensiveness can undermine and hurt you. It can even destroy your relationships.

When you become an inappropriate self-protector, to some degree, you "split off" From yourself. You lose a clear picture of reality and your freedom of choice. All you want is to avoid discomfort and pain, or to feel in control again. So you tend to act in ways that hurt you and others. For example, you may refuse to admit when you are wrong, run away, see yourself as better than others, isolate, or become unreasonably angry.

When you are stuck as a self-protector, you also lose a clear picture of reality, and to some degree, your freedom of choice. You repeat inappropriate ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. But even worse, you train yourself to stay defensive and self-protective. You may even look be on the look-out for things to make you defensive.

Becoming a defensive self-protector is normal and adaptive when there is a genuine threat to your safety and wellbeing or to the safety and wellbeing of those you love. Going in to self-protect is maladaptive and hurtful if:

1. You go there because of an imagined threat.

2. You go there and get stuck there.

The subconscious mind rules your defensiveness. When you become self-protective, instincts or habit patterns stored in your sub-conscious mind take over. If you don't know how to recognize when this happens and do something different, the habit can take control of you.

You can become rigid, confused, or all mixed-up. It's almost impossible to see the whole truth--the big picture-- when you are in self-protector mode. So, you refuse to discuss the issue and leave the room, get angry, or pout in silence.

At this moment, you are on autopilot mindlessly reacting instead of responding appropriately. If you are stuck as a self-protector, you are like a CD. Just like a CD, when activated, you play the same reactions over and over, relating to others in the same old hurtful ways.

If you pay attention to how you are reacting, you'll find that your body is stressed and that you have negative emotions such as pride, anger, fear, disgust, or the craving to be right.

If you pay attention to what you are saying to yourself, you will find that the thoughts and pictures in your mind are also negative. You may be thinking, Just shut up. Leave me alone. I don't care what you say. You're jerk. You don't know anything.

Finally, if you check what you want, your will or desire may be to get even, be right, or get away. The following is a summary of your reactions.

Body of a Self-Protector: You are tense, agitated, or collapsed.

Emotions of a Self-Protector: You are emotionally negative.

Mind of a Self-Protector: You are mentally off-balance. Things seem all good or all bad. Or you are double minded, helplessly swinging back and forth between seeing things as all good or all bad.

Will/Desires of a Self-Protector: You want to avoid or control people, situations, and problems in inappropriate ways that lead to impulsive and compulsive behaviors. You may seem paralyzed--unable to act.

THE LEARNER

Being a "learner" is meant to be your normal way of life. When you are a learner, you can see both the negative and positive sides of reality-the big picture. You could say that you are an objective observer of what is going on. Also, learners have hope.

The creative, problem-solving conscious mind is in control when you are a learner. Instead of becoming inappropriately defensive, trying to avoid or control difficulties inappropriately, you stay open and curious. You feel rightly connected within yourself and to others, and to God, if you are a believer.

When faced with difficulties, your primary concern is to get to the truth with compassion for yourself and others. You want to resolve issues in a win-win fashion (Everyone feels fairly dealt with.). And you can express the best of who you are-your healthy-best-real self. Here's summary of what it is like to be a learner.

Body of a Learner: Your body responses are relaxed, but alert.

Emotions of a Learner: Your emotions are positive (peace, acceptance, confidence/zest, satisfaction).

Mind of a Learner: Your mind reflects flexible and balanced thinking (You see both the negative and positive sides of people and situations--the big picture) and you can freely choose what you focus on.

Will/Desires of a Learner: Your actions are based on a clear picture of reality and the best of who you are. You stay out of inappropriate avoid or control strategies and try to resolve difficulties win-win

Is staying a learner worth the effort? Yes. Indeed it is! Staying a learner often requires effort, but being a learner leads to integration and growth, emotional, physical health, and healthy relationships.

Please take the Choice-Cube Method Self-Assessment Quiz to find out whether you are more in shadow-a Self-Protector or in light-a Learner.

Seduce and Conquer Women - 3 Tips

Dear Friend,
Are you:

• Tired of being ignored or rejected by women?
• Tired of playing second best to other guys?
• Tired of having to aim low to score?
• Tired of being alone?
• Tired of having no power in your existing relationship?
• Tired of having no control over how women respond to you?
• Tired of seeing a beautiful woman walking down the street with some guy who ain't half the man you are and thinking "how the hell did he get her?"

• Frustrated because you don't have sex as much as you'd like?

If you are in any of these situations then keep reading, your life is about to dramatically change...

For starters, let me give you...

3 Free Tips To Pick Up Women Now

# 1: Do Not Act Like the "Nice Guy"

Gentlemen, please understand that when it comes to attracting, meeting and seducing beautiful women, "nice guys" will always finish last. Women do not want to date a "nice guy." She wants be with a confident and cocky guy who has personality and lots of attitude. Nice guys are too easy for her and fall into that dreaded "friend" category. Women want a guy who is NOT easy and when you're the "nice guy", women automatically think you're easy.

Have you ever noticed that all the hot, sexy women out there never seem to be dating or attracted to a "nice guy?" and to make matters worse doesn't it seem like all these beautiful babes are dating guys that are jerks?

Better yet...

Have you ever noticed that it's always the girls that you are not interested in that are suddenly interested in you?

Why?

Exactly, because you were not interested in them and you were not trying to be overly nice or sweet to them.

Women don't like "nice" guys. They are all too easy for her. Beautiful women, gentlemen, want a challenge! Always remember that!

They want to be intrigued when they first meet you; they want to be kept on their toes,

They want a challenge.

You have to learn how to give her that challenge...

# 2: Don't Give Her a Compliment When You First Meet Her

What do most guys do the first time they meet a woman? Exactly they pay them a compliment or try to be the "sweet guy" The sweet guy is worse than the nice guy. Not only does it give her no challenge it actually turns her off from you. She will dislike you if you approach her and give her a compliment. Women don't want to hear compliments and they don't want to hear pick up lines. You will seem like a desperate loser in her mind because you are too interested in her and you're much too easy for her.

Why?

Because women live for the thrill of the chase, the second they know they can have you, they will not want you anymore. Compliments and pick up lines backfire in your face. She might smile and laugh but in the back of her mind she's laughing at you, not with you! It's all a game and you have to learn how to play it!

There are 3 phases to the game...

The First Phase - Begins when you first meet her...

The Second Phase - Begins right after you have sex with her...

The Third Phase - Begins when you get into a serious relationship with her...

# 3: Don't Sell Yourself to Her

Most guys meet a girl and realize that she's a little apprehensive and then, the first thing they do is try to convince the girl to feel comfortable around them and to like them. Never try to convince a woman to like you. If she's not attracted to you convincing her or persuading her to like you will turn her further away from you! Most guys meet a girl and try to SELL them the idea of being with him. Attraction cannot be sold gentlemen; it can be created but not sold. Don't try to convince women to like you.

The more you try to convince her, the less she will like you. Create the attraction you desire by being the opposite of what she expects!

How To Balance Relationships Between Old And New Relations

We all have lots of friends and relations,
some new, some old.
Friends can be easily replaced,
at short notice, with some discomfort;
not so with relations.
We have to live with them, tolerate them, make compromises;
relations, old or new are long-term investments in life,
and spouse among them is a key figure, nearly indispensable,
in spite of increase in live-in relationships and divorces all around.

New relations should enhance the existing synergy, in the family;
which may not be always true,
as sharing of friends or relations, is not amicable in general.

We have old, sweet nostalgic memories,
of our childhood, growth, college days,
with old relations: parents, siblings,
which our new relations: spouse, in-laws,
may not value as much as we do.
The new relations, husband or wife too,
are more intimate and comfortable with,
their old relations: parents, siblings,
and less inclined towards their new found relations,
through the spouse, i.e. in-laws.

The new relations, newly wedded couple,
both husband and wife, have mutual expectations,
to be given supreme importance, in the new relationship;
over and above spouse's parents.
After marriage, spouses must live as per their choice,
with least interference by in-laws directly,
or indirectly by offering unsolicited advice,
and the new family should be self-reliant with full autonomy in life.

Among relations,
there is always rivalry, followed by jealousy;
human beings are possessive by nature.
Parents will be reluctant to accept,
secondary status in dealing with their son or daughter after marriage,
would like to retain the previous intimacy;
which will be rightly resisted by spouse,
and is not practical any more.
The new equation will be realised, but it may lag slightly;
and dilute harmony in the family.

If only we could learn,
that a new universe has begun, with a new relationship,
the husband and wife,
who, in the foot steps of Adam and Eve,
are about to begin the same journey,
to start a world of their own;
and if we could stop finding fault or offering suggestions endlessly,
to the newly wedded couple,
and let them explore the married life on their own,
there will be pleasant panorama in the families all over the world;
denied at present.
The young couple too could add harmony in the families,
by just loving and respecting the in-laws,
i.e. the spouse's parents and siblings;
and not cold shouldering, as at present..

It is not so easy, old traditions die hard,
it is carrying on like this, since time immemorial,
because we hardly believe in,
'do unto others what you want done unto you'.
Why can't we have equal friendship,
with old friends or relations of the spouse?

We are all imperfect human beings;
but we expect our loved ones to behave like perfect humans.
God has implanted, incorrigible imperfections in humanity,
to test our fortitude, our ability,
to discriminate right or wrong attitude,
and live in peace.

We have failed so far, in the history of our civilisation,
and there is no attempt, to correct it even now.
We failed in the past and we are destined to fail in future,
for we are not even aware of,
what is wrong;
the failure is prevalent,
in every household in the world,
and is painful.
The old and new relations are at loggerhead,
with deceptive peace, utter disregard to each other, camouflaged by civility.

May God bless us all,
to overcome 'duality' in our minds and actions;
duality i.e. who are mine, who are not,
whom I can love spontaneously, whom I can't,
with whom, I can share life and communicate, with whom I can't,
and resolve to give genuine, informal love to our in-laws;
same as we reserve for our own parents and siblings.

Keep Her Attracted Even From Afar

Believe it or not, attraction is a very predictable emotion. We humans can make other people more attracted to us at will, as long as we know and also UNDERSTAND the attraction "buttons". There are basically 7 attraction buttons that I found to be the most powerful ways to get & keep a girl attracted.

And these attraction buttons are the following:

1) The Possessiveness Button. Women just like men, are possessive beings, and being able to wake up her possessiveness in the right way, and get her feeling a little insecure about losing you is one the fastest ways to get a girl attracted.

2) The Challenge Button. This is one of the most confusing ways to get a woman attracted, yet one of the most effective ones. In just a few words it means keeping her on her toes, and playing with her ego. Women love to be with a challenging man, because that's what makes them work for him and thus invest in the relationship. Having the ability to challenge a woman shows confidence, this being one of top traits that women look for in men.

3) The Excitement Button. Excitement is all about fun, therefore making your relationship entertaining for you and for her is the sure way of pushing the excitement button. You see, women love "shiny things" and if you're not that shiny thing that can save her from boredom - she'll look for fun somewhere else.

4) The Dominance Button. Women want to be in a relationship with a masculine man. Now, masculinity can be defined in different ways but to give you a little hint: it's all about initiative!

5) The Attention Button. Attention from men is food for a woman's ego. If you're able to give her just enough attention so that she wants more of it then you'll be her "prince charming".

6) The Intrigue Button. Creating intrigue is playing with a woman's mind, and making her eager to find resolution to the confusion that also you created.

7) The Laughter Button. Humor is the number one trait that women look for in men. That's why making a woman laugh is one of the best ways to conquer her hearth, her mind and her body.

So, if you are aware of these seven buttons, you understand how they work and you learn how to press them correctly, then getting your girlfriend madly attracted to you will be a children's play.

Threat Vs Intimidation

We've all felt intimidated before and we don't like it very much. However, it is a part of life. It's important to remember what intimidation is and what it isn't. Intimidation is, simply, a form of communication used to get compliance through the use of fear. It is, to the intimidator, a means to an end. However, a threat is a form of communication used to not only create fear, but explicitly announce an outcome of a causal relationship, e.g., "If you don't give me your money, I'm going to kill you."

Now, threats can be intimidating, but they are two different forms of communication, even when used in conjunction with one another.

Okay, now that I've explained the difference between intimidation and threat, you're asking yourself, "Who cares"? Well, if you want to become a master communicator, you'll not only want to figure out why people intimidate, but to also try to uncover the underlying meaning of the intimidation. What is it that the intimidator really wants? Sure, some people are just bullies. But people generally intimidate because they need something, they want something, and they just don't know how to properly ask for it. However, sometimes a simple act of intimidation, e.g. staring someone down, can become threatening. And it's important to recognize the difference between the salesman who pushes for the sale too hard and the guy who won't take no for an answer.

Now, it isn't always easy to read human behavior and distinguish between intimidation and threat, but it's important that you start trying, as the world is a very scary place. When you're out and about, remember everyone has motive and self-interest. When you're out at dinner, watch people non-verbally, especially anytime conflict is involved. If you witness violence, try to figure out what caused it and why. And if you hear threatening voices, watch for sequential events which cause non-action to move to action.

Use your instinct, your gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is, and you should move on to someone else or somewhere else. As mammals, we've undergone thousands of years of evolution. Our amygdala, the primitive part of our brain, has an uncanny ability to detect threat, both consciously and unconsciously. We identify threats by shape, color, and behavior. We can even detect potentially threatening people when they exhibit non-threatening behavior, for example, that guy or girl who just gives you the willies or makes your stomach churn without knowing why.

Great Approaches in Dealing With A Stubborn Partner

Understanding the importance of the seven secrets and the need for using fair fighting and good communication is great-but what happens if your partner is stubborn, resistant, and refuses to play by the rules?

In some cases, you may be able to win your partner over. In others, however, you may need to seriously assess the value of your relationship.

When your relationship is struggling or has already ended due to the stubbornness of your partner, try these approaches:

• Talk: Open up to your partner and express your desire to build a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship. If you have already split up, state your desire to get back together and rebuild on a stronger foundation. Give your partner time to listen and respond. Not every relationship is salvageable, but many are if both partners work together.

• Evaluate: Once you have explained your intent and your position and listened to what your partner has to say, take the time to evaluate your situation. If you and your partner are in trouble or have split up due to minor concerns, you may be able to overcome the issues by employing the seven secrets yourself. If your problems are more serious (cheating, violence, or total lack of respect), carefully evaluate whether your decision to stay and rebuild is the right one.

• Encourage open-mindedness: If you have decided to work on your relationship, set the example by overcoming stubbornness yourself. Work on exploring all possibilities together. Learn to give and take, even on points you have been reluctant to concede in the past. Show your partner that you are willing to compromise and he or she may be willing to bend a little as well.

Stubbornness can be a major obstacle in building a healthy, strong relationship. If both you and your partner are willing to work at it, it is possible to overcome. The most important thing is to lead by example.

Depression And Other Illnesses

Depression, other forms of mental illness, and physical illnesses can all pose serious challenges to even the healthiest of couples. It can be very difficult-though not impossible-to overcome the damage they can cause to your relationship.

If both partners are willing, these issues can be overcome to save the relationship. The trick is caring for you, your partner, and your relationship as almost separate entities.

To help yourself when your partner is suffering from depression or another serious illness, remember that you are also an individual with your own needs. Studies have shown that people with partners who are depressed or physically ill can often mimic the symptoms. This is not healthy for you, your partner, or your relationship.

While it is perfectly acceptable to empathize with your partner, it's important to focus on your own health. Maintain your own identity during an illness by keeping a positive outlook and doing things to boost your mood.

To help your partner, encourage medical intervention (if necessary), maintain an upbeat attitude, and rely heavily on the secret of understanding. Your partner is going through a very difficult time and can benefit from your love and compassion. Don't enable, however-encourage your partner to get on a healthier path.

It is possible to get through a serious illness and come out stronger as a couple. Make sure medical treatment is provided and that the healthy partner stays strong and positive.

Taking care of yourself during an illness is not selfish. If you and your partner both have faith in your abilities to weather the storm, your relationship could grow even stronger in the process.

Damage control

Relationships are like roller coasters: sometimes they're up and sometimes they're down. If you are in a struggling relationship or if a split has already occurred, it may not be too late to repair the damage. It is sometimes possible to rebuild and get yourselves on a positive path.

When damage has been done to a relationship, it can take time and serious effort from both you and your partner to repair it. It is almost never impossible to rebuild trust, respect, and love. The key is determining if the effort is truly worth it and if your heart is really in it.

Before beginning the repair process, you and your partner may want to give yourselves a little time. Evaluate your situation and look at it with fresh eyes to see where you've gone wrong, what you could have done differently, and how you might proceed to create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationship. You may decide not to proceed, but if you do, here are some tips to getting back on solid footing.

Everyone Has Place, Everyone Belongs

Connection in life is such an important matter it's truly the way God ordained our beings to exist. We want so much to be accepted and we know the excruciating power of rejection. When we are rejected for what we do or for who we are we are torn to the heart, and we feel we have no place in that place.

But God brought each of us into being.

If this were not so, how then do we explain our lives? Beyond our parents' planning, God is the one that made it happen; God brought us into the miraculous state of life, and sustains us to this very day.

We belong here.

This is an incontrovertible fact. Earth is a place for everyone. Not one person is here by accident. And though this seems obvious, we only have to look through our own lives to come face-to-face with the people we have rejected or those who have rejected us.

Acceptance is not as straightforward an idea as we might think.

Indeed, just like God's love seems so basic, the matter of acceptance is a difficult concept even for the most loving of people. For example, we don't want to appear as racially divided, yet we still have barriers between us and people of other cultures; we are self-conscious, not wanting them to pick up that we feel uncomfortable. But this self-consciousness is driven by love, because we don't want to offend them.

Still, there is a lack of authenticity and that is picked up, so often, as a rejection.

FAITH IN A PLACE

The challenge ahead of us, particularly where we see evidence of a lack of fit, is to have hope that there is a place for us; that we fit somewhere. Faith will energise our journey and take us all the way to the reception of it.

Faith in this way is not getting despondent and not giving up on the vision God has for our lives: 1) to be loved and 2) to love, and through these two the provision of hope for a good future.

Because we have life and we have a role in living this life, that we have this place, we have a license to bring meaning to that sense of place.

If we feel lonely, discouraged, or we are hurting, there is a lack of sense of place. It might be just for a season, but we know in our lack that our lack speaks more about the lack of place than anything else.

Our opportunity is to believe: 1) we do belong, and 2) there is a belonging place for us to be found, and then enjoyed.

***

On Earth there is a place for everyone and everyone has a place. God has ordained this by our existence. Finding our place can be problematic. We need faith to not give up. There is a place for each of us where we can love and be loved, and know hope.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

The Reason Why Men Should Not Buy Women Drinks

All men have been guilty of this at some point, buying girls drinks as an icebreaker or conversation starter. Other wise know as the act of taking your hard-earned money out of your wallet to buy a drink for a girl who you barely know at a bar in trying to gain favor with her.

For some men it is part of their courtship process and some men are used by women for drinks becoming just another notch on her belt. However all men should know there are potential problems that you may run into by buying girls drinks.

Sends The Wrong Message

Buying the drink can come off as an attempt to pay for her attention or trying to get her drunk. Causing her to feel like a material item, or that you aren't interested in her as a person.

A feeling that no girl likes. This can potentially send the message that you will continue to pay for attention. If a man is already throwing money at her within the first few minutes, it is possible that he will continue throughout the relationship.

This can become devastating on your wallet and your psyche. The feeling that the reason she is with you because of your spending habits and not you.

Could Be A Test

This is a common test that girls will use on men. It is a way to filter out men that she is not interested in. The act of being able to control a man so easily, and removes the challenge lumping him with most of the men at the bar that night.

We all love challenges. Similar to economics in which the value of items can be determined by the difficulty of achieving it. By refusing to buy girls drinks, this will add perceived value, intrigue and challenge her.

Girls test men because it is a quick way to filter out men that are not her type. Imagine if a girl were to take the time to sit down and interact with every man who showed an interest in her.

She would get nothing done. So tests are used to show men that she may potentially be interested in.

Sense Of Entitlement

Men have bought drinks for so long that now in some girls, a feeling of entitlement has been created. Carrying little to no money to bars and clubs because in their mind they will get drinks regardless.

This is a pet peeve of mines in which a person feels that they deserve something simply for being who they are. An attitude that men shouldn't keep feeding because as long as it continues uncontested. She will continue to feel that nothing is wrong with such a mentality.

Is There Ever A Time To Buy Girls Drink?

Sometimes, no rule is absolute. If you and the girl are getting along great, there is a connection and you are ordering another drink. That is a perfectly fine time to buy a drink because the drink doesn't have the subtext of attention or approval seeking.

Just remember that the first interactions with girls is about simply getting to know one another and not amount money. Never feel obligated to buy a drink.

This article is sponsored by real estate news.

Meet Australian Singles At Online Dating Sites

The world of online dating sites with Australian singles is very interesting to see. People can use one of many different dating sites to find Australian singles. Here's a look at a few of the top options for people to take a look at. These have their own different features but they might be of use to just about anyone looking for love down under.

Some places that allow Australian singles to meet each other can include details on individual singles. These include places that let people search through large databases of singles with a variety of different characteristics in mind. It's a useful tool considering the large wealth of Australian singles in the dating circuit.

It's never been easier to get pictures set up on these sites. Many of these online dating sites will let visitors send in their own personal photos through their computers or their social media profiles. People can use these pictures to confirm their identities at times.

Ice-breaking messages can also be sent to other people. This traditionally involves the use of a command to get in touch with someone by simply clicking on a particular icon or command. This will give a person access to someone's account with a brief message. This message should appear in a message box on the recipient's profile.

More singles are using these websites because they often include personality analysis tools. People can answer several questions on a site and have their personalities analyzed through a specific algorithm determined by the website. This is used to analyze the personality of a member with others to see who that person might be more compatible with.

Different sites may cater to different kinds of relationships that people want to have with each other as well. For example, some sites might focus on people who want to look for relationships that are made with long-term results in mind. These are particularly relationships that would result in marriage after a period of time. This is an interesting consideration but it is also one that may be of use for those who are looking for Australian singles for reasons well beyond friendship.

Sometimes a site might have a number of articles for members. Articles can cover many of the key topics and needs that people have for dating. The information on a site like this should be particularly notable for its details on everything that singles can do when finding each other.

The final thing to see about online dating sites is that they are free to use for the most part. There are some cases where people have to pay to get access to some of the advanced features on a site. However, these sites traditionally do not require contracts for certain periods of time.

The online dating sites that people can go to when finding Australian singles are interesting places to find. These options all have their own particular characteristics but are all made to give people the opportunities they want to find singles that they might potentially be interested in.

What Are the Top 10 Ways to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

If you and your man broke up, don't worry because there are 10 ways to get your ex boyfriend back. Don't lose hope easily and give up. There's still a chance for you and your man to get back together.

So what are the 10 ways to get your ex boyfriend back?

1. Don't ignore him completely

If he's trying to reach out to you, there's no need to be rude and refuse to answer his calls because you want to play hard to get. If you see him, act nice and say hi. Ignoring him will only make you look immature.

2. No contact

While you don't need to ignore him completely, you also don't need to contact him all the time especially if the breakup is recent. Give each other space and don't annoy him to death by sending text messages at 3 in morning or calling him all the time.

3. Don't give him the upper hand

If you let him know that you miss him and that you're lost without him then you're giving him the upper hand. He won't be in a rush to get you back then because he knows you'll be waiting for him no matter how long it takes.

4. Grieve and wallow

Give in those feelings and wallow in order to heal. You need to get it out of your system or it's going to eat you and you won't be able to think straight. You're going to be desperate and needy and do things like call him and bug him because you want his attention.

5. Find other things to focus on

Your grieving period should have a time limit. After a few days, you need to get back on your feet and live your life again. Find other things to focus on such as your work or hobbies. You need to stop thinking about the breakup otherwise you're going to be obsess and that's never a good idea.

6. Accept the breakup and let him go

You can't force someone to stay with you. If you want him back then you need to accept the breakup and let him go first. If you don't let him go and continue to cling then he's going to think that this breakup really is the best idea for both of you.

7. Smile and be nice

When you see your ex, try not to be rude and show him just how bitter and angry you are. He's not going to want to talk to you if he senses that you want to bite his head off. And if he doesn't want to talk to you then how can you get him back?

8. Forgive and forget

He hurt you but you also have your share of mistakes. You need to forgive and forget if you ever want to start fresh with him. Holding on to grudges isn't good because you will end up being bitter and angry all the time.

9. Don't flirt with other men

Don't play games and try to make him jealous. He's going to think that maybe you've moved on and it's time for him to move on as well. Or he's going to retaliate and start going out with other women just to irritate you.

10. Be patient

Out of the 10 ways to get your ex boyfriend back, being patient is probably one of the most important. These things could take time and you need to keep your cool otherwise you may end up annoying him with your constant phone calls or blaming him for your broken heart.

Relationships Based on Lying

If you have read a women's magazine, you know there always seems to be an article about lying in a relationship. "Little white lies" can often seem harmless enough. It's easy to think it is not hurting anybody and no one will ever know, but isn't this really a measurement for integrity and personal responsibility? I've often heard from my employers that they are appalled when a candidate exaggerates on their resume. Right off the bat candidates are setting a premise of dishonesty- why would someone want to hire a person like this? Candidates are advised to be truthful and honest in their representation of themselves.

This strong belief that candidates should be 100% truthful on their resumes and applications is a well-founded concept. But what happens when a company is lying to the candidate? This is the other side to the coin that people rarely ever consider. We get so caught up in thinking it is the candidates being less than honest, we never stop to consider the possibility of it going both ways. According to the Reader's Digest article "Get Hired, Not Fired: 50 Secrets That Your HR Person Won't Tell You", company personnel have been known to lie to candidates as well. For example, here are two excerpts from the Reader's Digest article:

"Background checks are expensive. Sometimes we bluff, get you the fill out the form and don't run it," states Cynthia Shapiro, former human resource executive and author.

"Sometimes, we'll tell you we ended up hiring someone internally- even if we didn't- just to get you off our backs." HR rep at a Fortune 500 Financial services Firm

At the end of the day, if lying is a standard practice in your company, you will not be able to hire good people and expect them to stay. You are creating a culture within your company, and if it is one that includes not always telling the whole truth, the expectation that you could then hire honorable, truthful others goes out the window. Instead, run a strategic, authentic, well defined interview process. Be upfront and completely committed to a healthy environment for your employees- an environment that is based on truth telling. Creating this culture of truth and mutual respect will help support the company in being one of value. The rewards will far outweigh any benefit you may have received by lying to your people.

How to Get a Boyfriend Back - 9 Things That Never Work

How to get a boyfriend back is quite a challenge. It's never easy trying to get someone you love back in your life. After all, you broke up for a reason.

So how do you get your man to come back to you? When it comes to how to get a boyfriend back, there are certain things that would never work and would only make your situation worse. Here are the things you need to avoid doing.

1. Being demanding. You can't make demands and order him to come back to you. He would only scoff and think that you're crazy for thinking that you're the boss of him.

2. Feeling like the victim. Don't be so hard on yourself and think that the whole world is against you. Pity parties never work and he won't want to come back to you if he thinks you're depressed and being a crybaby.

3. Chasing him. Pursuing him will only make him want to distance himself further. He's only going to think of you as an annoying lost puppy. If you want him back, it's better if you find ways to make him chase you.

4. Broadcasting your feelings to kingdom come. It's one thing to tell your friends how you feel but it's a bad idea to tell everyone within hearing distance just how miserable you are. He's going to think like you're doing this to get his attention or to have someone pity you. It's unlikely that he's going to bite.

5. Phone calls everyday. Which part of "I need some time" did you not understand? If he said he needs time and space to think things through then you know that it's a bad idea to bombard him with phone calls. The only thing constant contact will accomplish is making him even more frustrated with you.

6. Not saying you're sorry. He may not be so forgiving at first but you still need to apologize for your mistakes. Even though you're both at fault it would show that you were brave enough to face and admit that you were wrong. He's going to see this as a mature gesture and would really appreciate it.

7. Seeing red. If he's in a rebound relationship, don't treat it as a war and say "bring it on b++++!" It may not even be a serious relationship and maybe he's just doing this to deal with the pain. Acting like Rambo with nail polish and making a scene is not the most attractive things you can do.

8. Payback. He hurt you now you want to hurt him? Not a good idea which means that you shouldn't play games such as making him feel jealous just to see his reaction. What good would it do? Either he thinks you've moved on and he would move on as well or he's going to think it's just a pathetic attempt to get his attention.

9. Bite me. When it comes to how to get a boyfriend back, the "bite me" attitude doesn't really work. You can be cool and collected and act like you're in control when you see him. But if you're rude and let him know that you're bitter and resentful then he's going to be turned off and wouldn't bother talking to you again.

Relationship Breakup Advice - Is It Time To Move On

Experiencing a relationship break up is rough on both of those concerned. When you have invested so much time building a relationship with your significant other then it all comes to an end, it can be a serious let down. You may or may not consider it time to move on.

There are numerous reasons a relationship can fail. Your partner may change over time and they are no longer the same person you first met or it could be you that has changed. Maybe the relationship became boring and one of you is seeking something different. Regardless of the reason a break up can be hard to deal with.

Fortunately not all relationships end on a bad note. Sometimes a couple just decides to go their separate ways on good terms. This would be the best case scenario for a break up because nobody is hurt and bad feelings normally do not exist. But the reality is that not many break ups go that way.

When a bad break up takes place one or both of the couple may need some relationship break up advice. One big tip for those who want their ex back is not to beg. There may still be some love between the two of you but if your ex has decided things will not work out then there is not much you can do.

If you where to persist in begging them you will only lower yourself in their eyes, you want to avoid annoying them. You may be hurt but your best bet is accept their decision and move on. The longer you dwell on it the worse you will feel and it can prevent you from moving ahead with your life.

Also think back on your relationship to see what went wrong. Be honest with yourself if you were the cause of the break up, learn from your mistake. Use it as a learning experience so you do not repeat your mistakes. If you find your ex was at fault in causing your break up, try to avoid someone like them in the future. Why put yourself through the same experiences again.

Unfortunately when you enter into a relationship you never truly know everything about your partner. You never know if the two of you are a good match until you have spent some time together and experience them. If you do break up then don't get discouraged, there are many more prospects out there for a new relationship and a chance you will find your perfect match.

Challenging Situations of Social Isolation

"If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."
~Jodi Picoult

Anyone who has dealt with the felt sense of an overriding betrayal of a friend or group, akin to any sort of community, knows, by bitter experience, the truth in the above statement.

There are times when we have all sought our solitude, because it was the only safe place to run. People may say they love their alone-time, and that is occasionally the case, because there is the need physical, mental, or emotional renewal, but when people actively seek prolonged seclusion there is usually the presence of hurt within.

The fact is, as humans we have the preponderance for affinity; for connection.

We need to connect, and anyone challenging this idea could ask themselves, "Am I hurt by people (or hurting because of people) in any way?"

In my own life, I recall times in my late teens where I would routinely shut myself out from my social world for days at a time because I was sick of the way my peers treated me. There seemed to be some inner satisfaction in doing this; though I was not a believer at this stage, I perhaps felt the reassuring Presence of God, somehow. But, realistically, this reassuring presence - known to exacerbate and justify the isolation - was probably more reassurance from the devil, for Satan loves to get us isolated and get into our heads that way. But I certainly drew strength from having the power to segregate myself and to dream up goals in the manner of: "I'll show them!"

THE SOURCE OF CHURCH AND FAMILY HURTS

Because churches, individual bodies' of Christ, exist around social bounds under God, there will always be friction to the point of people feeling out of touch, misunderstood, not listened to, unloved - rejected. If only we could understand this as an ever present threat. These dynamics affect any 'family' set-up in the crisis of felt betrayal.

Particularly for the person who is prone to feelings of abandonment - those who have some union to an anxious attachment - this is a real threat. They will, from time to time, feel rejected by anyone who may not concur with their line of thinking; who resists closeness of heart and mind to them. These feelings of rejection, if we were wise, would be challenged in truth, so we could see the role fear is playing to disturb our sense for connection - pressuring our sense of connectedness.

If we would honour the truth, and see these feelings as they are, we may avoid the need to isolate ourselves.

We may rise above the felt pettiness of others in order to glorify God in our hurt.

NEVER GIVING UP ON FINDING A PLACE TO BELONG

All of us belong somewhere. If truth were known, we actually belong in any good place, but we need to feel like we belong.

Many are the experiences of people against that flow, however.

They may never have felt that; a sense of true belonging. But our passionate commitment to find a place where we truly belong is rewarded when we resolve to never give up. But in order to find such a place we need to do our own inner work of preparation.

The fact we must come against is, we will be hurt.

People hurt people, but it is our role to utilise the wisdom and power of God to reconcile that hurt, rising above it. It is hurt people who hurt people. When we see this, we see a fearful individual (or individuals) who has/have hurt us, and we can have compassion for them. And sometimes it is us who are plain wrong, and in those cases we need to have the humility to admit we're wrong. Many, many schisms come about because of sinful pride. Let's be honest; being honest and swallowing our pride is a far better personal result.

If we are to get on we must aim to get on. Doing that is about compromise; a meeting of the minds and hearts, or at least agreeing to disagree without caging resentment.

***

Because, as humans, we were made to connect, isolation may be one of the worst kinds of life there is. We cannot know love, and be blessed by love, in isolation. And neither can we grow in isolation. The best of life exists where we feel we belong. Upon bouts of feeling isolated we need to, again, expand out into our world in courage to reconnect.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

Interracial Dating: Preference or Prejudice?

Have you ever been accused of being prejudiced toward your own race because you either engage in or support interracial dating? Figured so. This is actually a fairly common occurrence. When someone feels left out or shunned it's easier sometimes for them to lash out and attack your motivations rather than address their own self-doubts or insecurities.

Flip-side.

Have you ever tried to defend your interracial dating decisions by saying that they are simply your own preferences and, as such, are beyond reproach? That's typical too. When confronted by someone calling you out most of us go into self-defense mode and conjure up the first logical thing that comes to mind to try to prevent an argument.

Now, which one of those words is right when it comes to interracial dating?

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of the word prejudice is something like this: (1) a preconceived judgment or opinion or (2) an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge.

Pardon the high school English lesson here, but the key words in that definition that I think are often ignored are "just grounds" and "before sufficient knowledge." The definition implies that a person has to have some level of familiarity and a basis for forming a preconceived notion. Most people assume that interracial daters do not have these and that's what makes them prejudiced in their choices. I tend to think it's the opposite though. I think most people who date interracially usually don't start out doing so exclusively. The vast majority that I know started out dating within their own race and then decided to simply try something new. How can they be prejudiced then? They certainly had existing knowledge, although "sufficient" may be open to interpretation. However, that's relative. Dating once within your own race could be just as sufficient as dating ten times for someone else. Same thing can be said for having just grounds. If you went out with someone within your own race and didn't like certain things about them an argument can be made that you shouldn't write off the whole race because of one bad experience - but then again, why not? Maybe one experience is all you needed. Again, it's all relative! And who's to say that just because you see someone dating interracially that they're not willing to explore options within their own race? That's an assumption and you know what people say about those. One more look at that definition and you also see the word "adverse." Really, is it adverse if someone chooses not to date within their own race? Who are they necessarily hurting by making that decision?

Here's what Merriam-Webster has to say about the definition of preference. It goes something like this: (1) the power or opportunity of choosing or (2) the act, fact, or principle of giving advantages to some over others. Again, let's dissect this one as well. The key words here seem to be "opportunity of choosing" and "giving advantages to some." Well, how can you argue with words like opportunity and choosing? Those are good things, even inalienable rights in the United States, that everyone should enjoy. You can't blame anyone for wanting to exercise their opportunity of choice. But that last part is probably what causes disdain... giving advantages to some over others. Okay, while it may not feel good, it's a reality and it happens in all facets of our lives. Rather than trying to examine why some are getting advantages when it comes to dating a certain person, why not examine whether that situation is even right for you in the first place. Instead of making a snap judgment based on the optics you should consider things beneath the surface. If a woman sees a man of the same race dating a woman who isn't, it's completely non-productive for her to take umbrage and think negative thoughts about herself. What if that guy's a loser and the other woman just hasn't figured it out yet?

So, after all of that wordplay, it's still hard to call it, right? Honestly, I think it all comes down to a different word that just happens to start with the letter "p" and that's prerogative. And Merriam-Webster says it's (1) an exclusive or special right, power or privilege. At the end of the day, that's the best word to use when it comes to thinking about someone else's decisions or when referring to your own when it comes to interracial dating. It's their or your prerogative. And breaking this definition down is simple. You have a special right, power or privilege because it's your world! You run things in your world - nobody else has that ability other than you. That means that you're empowered to do whatever you want regardless of repudiation from others.

Yeah... it's your world. Therefore, it's your prerogative to have a preference that may or not be perceived as prejudice. And that's just peachy!

Mistakes Guys Make Talking to Women

Are you striking out every time you talk to women? When you see an attractive woman, have you come to the point where you simply walk away without even making an effort? Most of the time these things occur because you simply suck at talking to women! Guys can make a lot of mistakes when conversing with a beautiful woman and if you are tired of making them, you have come to the right place.

Conversation Starters

How do you approach a woman? Do you ask permission to start the conversation? That my friend is you first mistake. Not only are you setting the wrong tone for the conversation you are almost screaming out that you are needy and insecure. Walk right up to a gorgeous woman and start talking, just assume she is interested in what you have to say.

Bragging

How much do you talk about yourself? You may want to impress upon her your every quality, but talking incessantly about your abilities, looks or career you will turn off most women in mere seconds! Instead of talking about yourself listen to what she has to say about her life, show a genuine interest and you will be amazed at how quickly she will become interested in your qualities.

Compliments

If you find she has a particularly attractive feature you may find it tempting to compliment her eyes, derriere, figure or some other physical attribute. Flip this process on its head and start by trying to figure out who she is and what she desires, eventually you can tell her how gorgeous she is but first learn her heart and mind.

Nervous Fidgeting

When you are talking to a beautiful woman what are you doing with your hands and feet? Look, it is normal to be nervous, especially during first dates or when you initially approach a woman, but you must learn to control fidgeting! Nothing conveys a lack of self-confidence better than constant hand wringing or shuffling from one foot to the other. Look into her eyes, calm your nerves and avoid fidgeting at all costs, it is not attractive and in fact smacks of desperation.

Power of Teasing

Do women tend to find you boring? Here are a few things to watch for:

Checking her watch- repeatedly
Physically withdrawing from your, leaning further back in her chair, turning slightly away
Glazed eye appearance
One word or simple responses - oh wow, really, that's great for example

If you want to avoid annoying your date with boring conversation, try teasing her a bit. Instead of praising her every attribute and lavishing her with attention, bust on her a little. Making fun of her will be a refreshing change from the tons of guys who bow and scrape at her feet. Point out those little things like freckles, glasses or something she might be slightly uncomfortable about. Examples:

Your freckles are the most adorable thing
Glasses huh, you must be a bookworm!
Give her a cute nickname- brat, punk, freckles

These are just a few ways you can playfully tease her and keep the conversation interesting. A couple of tips you might want to keep in mind, never tease her when she is sharing something serious and take time for regular conversation too. Think less is more when it comes to teasing.

Conclusion

How many mistakes are you making? If you are making several, don't feel lonely (or do because your dates are not going well!) many men are making these same mistakes as well. Fortunately, with some dedication and a few tips you can turn your boring conversation into an attention grabber in no time.

How to Handle "Difficult" People

As we go through life's journey, we meet all sorts of people. Some have inspired you and been like an angel when you needed that extra guidance in life. There are the rare few who have been downright malicious and acted in bizarre ways at times. The main reason for such obnoxious behaviour may be due to misplaced values and a low self-esteem during a particular phase in life that they are going through. This does not mean that they will always be "difficult." Each human being has the potential to change for the better depending on their various life experiences and own personal efforts. It is better not to label a person as difficult but to look at that person with compassion and maturity. In that way, they may slowly come around and understand the need to have integrity and good values. The following are a few suggestions to deal with "difficult" people.

1. Be Objective: Always face any situation thrown up by a "difficult" person in a calm and objective manner. Look at the objective facts and the truth of the matter and ignore the malicious intentions with which they might attempt to put you down. In this way, you can defuse any bizarre act or behaviour by them.

2. Maintain a mature attitude: A mature attitude is developed with experience in handling a variety of people and with experience. It requires practice. There are times when usually balanced people get carried away and get down to the same level of someone who is trying to antagonize and malign them. This can lead to a bitter argument which can make matters worse. The person who is acting in a malicious manner would like to see the other person feeling hurt. Care should be taken to not get down to their bizarre level of behaviour. By maintaining a calm and compassionate attitude, one can respond in a mature manner and give a measured and thoughtful response.

3. Be assertive: Being assertive is being able to express what is genuinely right in a firm manner. There are times when a "difficult" person may try to manipulate or do some sort of mischief. It is important to be alert to such challenging situations put forth by such a person. One reason for their behaviour may be due to envy, egoism or immaturity. An inexperienced and innocent person who has had very little experience with these types of "difficult" people may find it challenging to deal with such manipulation and mischief. With experience, they will become more alert and also be able to stand their ground firmly against such manipulation and vested behaviour.

4. Maintaining a sense of humour: A sense of humour is extremely important in dealing with a "difficult" person. Laughing at the situation will make it lighter and the "difficult" person will be ashamed at his/her behaviour and realize the folly of his/her action.

Attract Girls Online: Transform Your Facebook Profile to a Girl Magnet!

Are you frustrated over not getting any girls online? Tired of sending countless messages without receiving a reply? There are so many beautiful women out there with real profiles waiting to be approached. Most of these women who are online are actually very open towards making new friends and building new connections. Specially with the rise of Social Networking sites such as Facebook, you would find that almost every girl has created an online profile on at least one of these social networking sites. These girls have to keep in touch with their friends in school, colleagues at work and with their families and hence Facebook is a convenient solution for them.

This is good news for you if you want to build new connections with beautiful, high status girls. The best thing about online dating is that it leaves you with plenty of options. When it comes to attracting girls online, there really is no approach anxiety or fear of speaking awkwardly and making a fool of yourself. Attracting girls online is actually very easy.

Online attraction is easy, but it certainly has its set of skills which need to be learnt. The reason why you are not having any success with girls on Facebook or any other network, is because you have no idea of the skills of online attraction.

First of all you should realize that the girls you are trying to attract online have absolutely no idea of who you are, and any impression they have of you will be ENTIRELY dependent on your PROFILE! Your Profile will be the ONLY way of communicating your personality, achievements, traits, preferences and beliefs.

Your Profile should effectively communicate everything that attracts these girls instead of repulsing them. Simply said, your profile should bring out all the positive aspects of your life. It could be your appearance, career, social status, wealth etc. Women love to be with successful men, and if your profile conveys that you're a winner, women would soon be flooding your inbox with messages! But going through some of the profiles on Facebook, it seems that some guys have no clue on how to build a winner's profile. So here's some advice on how to amp up your Facebook profile!

1 Profile Picture

This is the most important aspect of your profile. You absolutely need to get this right. We've all heard that first impressions really matter. And yes, a girl's first impression of you will depend entirely on your profile picture. If your profile picture interests her and seems appealing to her, she would visit your profile to know more about you. If your profile picture bores her, she wouldn't even bother checking out your profile. Even if you do have plenty of other cool pics and fun quotations, she wouldn't even know! You will be just one of the hundreds of friends in her friends list and soon you'll be lost in the crowd. Think about it, would you check out a girl's profile, if her profile pic seemed horribly ugly to you? (If you answered 'yes' by any chance, leave immediately) So how do you get your profile pic right?

Here's how. Your profile picture should convey one or more of the following traits: Fun, Adventurous, Strong, Rich, Intelligent and Socially confident. The more traits your profile pic portrays, the better. Try to hit on as many as you can with your profile pic. Let's say your profile pic is of you with your friends at a party, this conveys you're fun, socially confident and maybe even rich. Suppose your pic is of you rock climbing; this conveys you're adventurous, fun and strong. But of course these are just ideas and you should be smart enough to take pics in a way that conveys these traits. But I hope you get the idea. Try to hit on as many positive traits with your profile pic. Be creative, but stay sensible. Don't forget to pay attention to the brightness, contrast and sharpness of your profile picture. Some pictures are so dull and dark you can't figure out who's in it. Don't make that mistake. The new Facebook profile has a new feature of a 'cover photo'. Treat this the same way you would treat the profile picture. Remember the traits!

2 'About Me' section

This is a great chance for you to tell girls what you're passionate about and what you aim to achieve in life. Show that you have a clear purpose and aim in life and that you are having loads of fun on your way getting there. A man with purpose is very attractive to women. Keep it short of course. No one would want to read lengthy paragraphs.

3 Favourite Quotations

This will show your beliefs and the people who truly inspire you. Fill this section up with motivational quotes and with quotes from great personalities related to your career. Even funny quotes would be fine. Just keep it interesting. 'If you're going through hell, then just keep going!', or ' If I hadn't seen Disney world in my mind, the rest of the world would've never seen it for real'-Walt Disney, are examples of good quotations.

4 Be mindful of what you share and what you associate yourself with on Facebook

With the new Newsfeed feature, as soon as you 'like' or 'comment' on a link or a post, a whole lot of people will get to know about it immediately. So be careful of what posts and photos you 'like'. Don't get involved in hate campaigns, racially oriented posts or even sexist stuff. This lowers your image and if you want to attract girls, you want to maintain a high status. As men, we are expected to be in control of our emotions. So show her that you are a strong man who is in control of yourself. Remember also never to 'like' or 'comment' positively on photos depicting half-naked women, or explicit material. Always remember that you have to maintain the status of a noble man. This will make girls feel safer approaching you and talking to you online.

5 Bridge the gap between your 'Online self' and Real self

The entire purpose of attracting girls online is to build a lasting connection with them in real life. The online platform obviously makes it easier to approach them and create the attraction within them. But remember online attraction is just the doorway toward getting these girls into your real life. So in real life you need to BE the person you claim to be online. You shouldn't claim you are a rich businessman who travels around the world, if you are broke in real life. Always be honest of what you say online. The online game is built on trust. Work on yourself to really be the person you want to be. Go workout, educate yourself and work on building a career for yourself. This way the girls you attract online, will stay with you in real life! For more great tips and advice on how to attract girls online, visit my site

The Ultimate Key for Buying Presents for a Boyfriend's Birthday

Brainstorming for presents for a loved one's birthday is often exasperating, but this stress is multiplied by a million if that person is your boyfriend. Giving an impressive birthday present can say so many things about you: you're resourceful, fun, kind, and creative... and those things all describe you, don't they? Yet, in the face of that, shopping for your boyfriend's birthday remains freakin' hopeless.

Since I can remember I've broken my back to find the absolute best birthday gifts for my boyfriend(s). Heehee. After I'd ultimately mastered the art of discovering the perfect present (the trick is to work backwards), I decided to share my secrets. If you are feeling worried, sweating over thinking of that exact present that will cause him to smile ear to ear, I really pray that you'll continue reading and allow me to share my experience with you!

Before we get into the details, we should talk briefly about the overarching idea which we will be sticking to. Before tearing through millions of present recommendation discussion boards and steadily getting frustrated with the results, we need to slow down and mull over what type of present taker your lover is. If this sounds complex, it's not. There are 3 basic styles of gift accepters into which we will endeavor to shove your guy (I feel ya, he's much more perplexing than that, but you are gonna have to try). When it comes down to it, almost all boys are most pleased with birthday gifts that either practical, funny or sexy. Often boys will belong in more than one of these categories. But by starting by confining your gift to only one of these kinds of gifts, the finding of your ideal gift will be notably smoother.

Practical gifts are things that your boy will genuinely make use of on a day-to-day basis. In a way different from the alternative two categories of presents, it is reasonable that he might consider buying a thing resembling this one for himself if you didn't purchase it and give it to him first. Frequently, these types of presents are what you have been vigorously attempting to dream up - things he's mentioned that he loves, or the product he yearns for but simply doesn't have the cash for, etc. In almost every case, your man will be thrilled with a great practical presents, but they seem to be the trickiest to figure out. Here's an example: When I was in high school, I dated a guy who was obsessed with going on canoe trips, so I gave him a new tent. Not very sentimental, but I bet he still gets lots of use from the gift, almost a decade after we broke up.

Presents that are looked upon as funny are a little bit stupid, but will frequently plaster an ear to ear smile on his face. If you and your boyfriend are in a brand new relationship, a funny present is often an amazing way to make use of your imagination without spending too much. The easiest process to brainstorm a funny gift is to come up with something small and inexpensive that he adores (like a certain flavour of dessert) and utterly overdo it. Costco is your best friend. An alternative strategy is to tease him a little. The guy I was going out with when I was younger was eternally asking me to get out of bed and make breakfast for him after a night of aggressive drinking, so I got him a cookbook for hangovers.

At last, it's time for some real fun stuff - sexy gifts. Sexy gifts function in 2 ways: they have all of the positives of the funny gift, but with the added advantage of all the numerous flirtatious possibilities that you've opened the door to in your boyfriend's mind. Of course, you are free to take the provocativeness as far as you want (you are such a bad girl), but my own preference is the Kama Sutra Foreplay Card Game. It's sexy, it's silly, and there's no doubt it will result in many hilarious situations!

Will He Call After the Breakup?

If you recently broke up, and especially if you didn't want to, I expect you are hurting right now. You might be thinking that you will never again find a man like him, and you could never really love anyone else (by the way this is an example of the 'extreme thinking' that happens when we are in emotional trauma and is not rational or truthful).

You feel powerless because you didn't have any choice in the breakup. Maybe you cringe when you think back to some of the things you did and said during the breakup, and probably you regret some of the things that happened which caused the breakup in the first place. Guilt may compete with anger and sadness as your primary emotion at any one time. Yes it is an emotional, often confusing time, but one thing is for sure, you miss him and you want him back!

The good news is that you have every chance of getting him back. Also you can learn how to calm these emotions and you will feel better again. We will look at this a bit more in just a minute. But for now, back to the pressing question "will he call?"

You will be relieved to know that the answer is yes, in most cases he will indeed call you again at some point. In fact I will go so far as to say it is VERY rare for an ex not to call again ever, following a breakup. In my experience, in 99% of cases HE WILL CALL AGAIN! Even if you think your situation is bleak, because of what happened, or how you behaved, likelihood is he will STILL call! I never used to believe this was true, however I have seen it happen time and time again WHEN WOMEN FOLLOW CERTAIN, SPECIFIC GUIDELINES.

There are things you can do that will increase the odds of him calling, and eventually even getting back together, and there are also things you can do that will decrease the odds.

OK, let's start with what NOT to do:

• Don't call him! Really, please don't. I know you think your situation is different and that you should call him because you just need to explain... or apologise for... AND it's really important that you call him! That sense of urgency is natural when you are going through a breakup, however it's your worst enemy at the moment. It's a sad fact that when we are feeling desperate and miserable we are not at our most attractive and magnetic, so any contact you have will likely work against you. Instead you need to go against this instinct and limit contact at this time to necessary contact and emergencies. Necessary contact is if you have children or you work with him, and an emergency is something like a close mutual friend being in hospital, NOT that the shelves he built you have fallen down, you found his blue jumper etc..!


• And please don't go thinking up reasons for making contact with your ex. It's natural to want to speak to him, and you will have a MUCH better chance of reconciliation if you can reign this urge in. There will be a time for contact, however it is not now, while the situation is still raw and emotions are running high. Contacting him now will reduce your chances of getting him back, and probably irritate him, especially if he broke up with you. Instead you are going to do what works (see below).


• In a similar vein don't show up 'accidentally' at places where you know he is going to be. As much as you think you are being subtle people see straight through this and it makes you look desperate. We are going for attractive, strong woman to make him think twice about his decision, NOT desperate bunny boiler (said kindly, we can all be slight bunny boilers in the face of a break up!)


• Don't try to make him jealous, by sleeping with someone else, flirting with his friends or any of those other crazy methods we can resort to when we are feeling desperate.


• Don't drunk dial him! (This includes text too). Give your phone to a trustworthy girlfriend to look after on a night out if you don't trust yourself not to do this.


• Don't pretend to be or feel anything that you don't (ie pretending to be really happy when inside you are in bits) because it will come off as false. Instead just limit your exposure to him right now until you really are in a better state to start reconnecting the relationship.

And a few tips to get you started about what you CAN DO:

• Do take really good care of yourself right now. You have been through a lot and it's time for some self care. No-one ever got anyone back when they were looking and feeling dreadful. You can use this time to take care of yourself and do some things that will lift your spirits. This in turn will lift your vibe, which will go a LONG WAY to grabbing his interest when he does call. Plus if you create this space with no contact from you he will start to become curious, and this is a powerful tool for you.


• Do give yourself a break from the pain. Often when we are newly post break up we go over and over in our heads what happened, analysing everything we did and everything he did, and reliving all the painful emotions. I am all for processing and healing, however sometimes you need to find a way to break the cycle, so that you can make some space for some positive emotions and thoughts to come in!

Wishing you lots of luck and healing.

Julie.

How to Have a Great Conversation With a Man

Do you feel like men never notice you? If they do notice you, do you feel like you have trouble keeping the conversation going or appealing to them at all? Would you rather learn how to become the center of attention and capture the eye of a man you're interested in? It's not as difficult as it seems, and it's definitely not impossible! There is a handful of simple tricks to keep a conversation with a man going and to keep him interested.

Pay Attention
Remember, it's not all about you! A conversation is something you share. When he talks, acknowledge what he is saying. If you are unclear on what he is telling you, ask questions. Learn about him and learn from him. Showing interest in what he is telling you will let him know that you care about what he is saying, which will make you far more appealing as a partner in conversation. Everyone likes to know that they're being heard, so let him stand his soapbox for a few minutes. He'll feel more confident and he'll know that you want to get to know him better.

Be a Part of the Conversation, Not All of It
Sharing your experiences and opinions is a wonderful thing. However, you have to make sure that your ideas and ideals don't dominate the entire conversation! You can make your encounter with this man twice as valuable by taking the time to balance your comments with your ability to listen. Make sure that everything you say has a reason to be said. Don't change the subject if he seems like he is enjoying the discussion; instead, offer your insight on the topic. If you don't know much about it, ask him various things and learn!

Become a More Well-Rounded Conversationalist
Expand your interests and you will become more interesting! Conversations rarely spark from nothing, but if you know a little bit about a lot of topics, there is a good chance that you will feel more comfortable chatting with any group of adults, whether they're friends, coworkers or a guy you have a crush on. A little knowledge is a lot of power! Whether it's a conversation about cars, dog training, music or even exotic cacti, being able to keep up with and add to the discussion will definitely set you ahead of the game.

Leave the Negativity at Home
Whether you believe our economy is in the toilet, modern music is worthless or that movie you just saw was terrible, try to look on the brighter side. While your opinions are completely valid, someone who can't look at the bright side will inevitably come off as party pooper. If you must express your dislike for something, offer that opinion with a positive alternative. Hated last night's musical guest on your favorite talk show? Compare it to the last musical guest that you absolutely loved! Keep the conversation lighthearted and positive and you will make a great impression.

Get Your Ex Back With Three Simple Ways

There was once a time when you spent sleepless nights talking to the love of your life, sharing your happiness, pains and sorrow with the person, whom you considered the perfect soul mate. That was before things turned sour and both of you decided to go separate ways. As there are no restrictions in life, maybe after separating ways you start feeling that what you did was wrong and now want to get your ex back in your life. For this, you need to follow three simple steps and make him fall for you once again.

Sometimes you need to show how much you love a person. Mere affection for a person in your heart is not enough to let him know how much you love him or her. It is needed that you should express it. There are many factors that are responsible for break up. Any of the two people may be responsible for it, but if you realize your mistake and want to get back to your ex once again, these three ways are enough to mend your attitude and actions and help you with words that will again attract the person to you.

The three magical ways to turn on your ex towards you are listed below. You can imply this to any relationship and get your love back:

Sit and Discuss
What most of the people in relationship do not do is sit together and talk about their differences. This hampers their love life to a great extent. You must let your ex know that you want him or her back in your life. It is suggested that you sit with your ex, talk about the problems you faced, apologize for any mistake from your side and give him or her the time to think. Even if the cause of the breakup had been your ex, it is better not to blame him or her. You must listen to whatever your ex has to say patiently, even if you do not have a habit of listening, and try to sort the matter out.

Change for The Best
It is not necessary that whatever you say to your ex will be listened by him or her. It might happen that all of the conversation falls on deaf ear. In such circumstances you need to make sure that you actually change yourself to become a better person. You must show your ex through actions that you have changed your habits and are a better person now and give him or her assurance that you will never repeat the mistakes again. If anyhow your ex believes in those changes, there are ample chances that he or she will accept you too.

Go Ahead Positively
If your ex is not even picking your phone calls or answering your messages, leave alone sitting and discussing the problems with you, it is time that you take this as a challenge in your stride and show him or her through actions that you have changed to become a better person. Make sure that you are not running behind your ex desperately and pestering him or her. This will lead your ex to believe that you have become a desperate soul and he or she will start running away from you. Try to portray your self-confidence with positivity so that your ex believes in you and soon came back.

There is no 100% guarantee that you will be getting your ex back since more than often it might happen that your ex has moved forward in his or her life and has chosen some other person as partner, but ultimately what you have got is one single life and who knows maybe your efforts can finally pay back. It is recommended that you put every needed effort and works towards the patch up in a positive way.

Be it any relationship in the world, it needs you to express and spend quality time together. It is always better to chalk out the differences between both of you and sit with it, so that you both can know the problems faced by the other partner and then sort it. If in case that never worked, you parted and now you desperately want your ex back, there is nothing to worry. The 3 simple ways will make sure that you finally get your ex back!

Having the Perfect Photo and Profile on an Online Dating Site Is Not Enough

One evening my husband and I watched a talk show on television. A segment came up with a young woman who had her profile on several dating websites for months, and she didn't get a single invitation?

She was frustrated. The talk show host arranged for two consultants to come on the show to help her. One gave her a make-over. The other an online dating profile expert, rewrote her profile which the expert told the young woman will you " stand out from 22 million people that you are in competition with."

Really?!

First of all, where did the expert get 22 million? We looked it up and saw that is how many people visit Online dating sites in the United States.

We then thought, how many people believe that this is the answer to finding the perfect person in their lives?

How did the millions of people for centuries find the right mate before these Online Dating Services cropped up in recent years?

Sure looking your best, and having a positive profile online would attract people to you. But, are they the right people? Will a relationship, just by doing these two things, last?

We have nothing against the Online Dating services. Many people have married and found their soul mate. However, there are those who think just having a great profile on a site, and saying the perfect words will attract the love of their lives.

Unfortunately, many look at these Online dating services and think that's all it takes.

It reminds us of marketing, and why businesses fail even when they follow expert marketing advice. Many marketing companies tell business owners, "We can help you attract more customers. All you have to do is polish up your image."

Yes, that will help, but the business owner, and the person with their profile on a dating site, have to also have faith they will be successful with or without marketing themselves or their business.

Now there are those who found their perfect mate, and said it was a time of their lives when they didn't believe they could ever find the right person. So, how do we explain that? They didn't have faith. No, not consciously, but somewhere in their soul they still believed they could find the right mate.

Yes, they may have felt that they would never find someone, but their hearts were still open. And, seemingly out of the blue, they found their soul mate.

Then there are those who feel they may never find someone, and they are bitter. They still do all the right things on the dating sites. They have an outstanding profile, and a great photo. However, the Universe gives them exactly what they project out into the world. Nothing.

So the answer is to yes, visit the online dating services, go out to events, a party, or wherever. But don't rely on your physical appearance, or saying the right things is enough. It isn't.

For those who meet the right person, they would have met that person regardless of the dating site. Maybe at a store, or simply walking down the street.

If you are putting all of your faith in the dating site to bring you the right person, you are worshiping the wrong thing. Turn inside and know your Higher Power is bringing you the perfect mate. Don't worry about how or where.

Keep your heart open, and believe that the perfect person will come to you not from a dating site, but through the site. If not there, from some place else.

Tips That Will Come in Handy When Ordering Flowers for Mother's Day

Mothers day is celebrated all across the world by millions of children who want to show their mothers their appreciation and gratitude for all that their amazing mothers do for them. Most kids are clueless about what to gift their mothers on this special day, so most of us usually settle for the traditional bouquet of flowers. For those who are thinking of doing something on their own for a change and who want to order flowers themselves, read on to find out about some helpful tips that will assist you in selecting the best flowers for mother's day.

If you want to do something really special, you can start looking at different online catalogues of different online florists to see the kind of flowers they have in their stocks. If you like something online, you have the option of pre-booking the order and have it delivered to your mother on the special day. Secondly, you can shop for flowers for mother's day by visiting a florist in the market place. Most of the flower shops have ready-made bouquets which you can choose from. You also have the option of hand-picking some flowers and having them crafted into a beautiful bouquet. If you want to make some savings, you can take a trip to the farmers market, if there is one near you. Usually, the farmers markets have flowers that are sold at wholesale prices so you'll save a couple of bucks if you're on a tight budget. If you want to make the bouquet yourself, you don't need to find the perfect florist to make the bouquet. Instead, you'll need to read up and have a look at different tutorials to hand craft a presentable bouquet for your mother.

You need to know what kind of flowers you want in the bouquet. It's probably best to get the kind of flowers that are in season and are her favorite. If you aren't aware of her favorites, you can choose flowers that match her personality. You can even dig deeper and find out the symbolic meaning of different flowers and then arrange a bouquet to be given to her to make her feel special. If you still don't want to take a risk with the flowers, blooming roses or tulips are the safest choices to go with because every woman appreciates roses and tulips.

In order to avoid any last-minute disappointments, make sure you book your orders early, especially if you're using the online mode of making a purchase. Even if you're not going to order from online, have a word with your florist about wanting to buy flowers for mother's day, specifying the kinds of flowers you are interested in, so that you have all the options open to you when you head out to make your purchase.

Make the flowers special for your mother; surprise her! If you're ordering the flowers online, you could have them delivered in advance at her workplace so that she can show them off. Or, you could impress her with your cooking skills and prepare her some good breakfast and serve the meal with the flowers you've bought her. Be creative! Get thinking! There's a lot more you can do only if you put your mind to it!

Tips on How to Get a Guy's Attention

You've noticed that some women seem to have no problems at all getting guys to pay attention to them and you are not sure why you don't seem to have the same luck that they do. Could it be all about looks? Maybe, but maybe there is something else to it. While you can't deny that looks do play a role in getting a man to pay attention to you, there are other factors at play as well.

Here are a few tips on how to get a guy's attention that don't depend on just the way that you look:

1. You can get a guy to pay attention to you when you are not afraid to be a woman who starts conversations with men.

You don't have to come on too strong when you start a conversation with a guy, if that makes you feel uncomfortable. However, getting him to talk to you is one of the best and easiest ways to actually get him to pay attention to you. If you are shy, you want to try to get over that shyness so that you can at least get a conversation started with a guy you like.

2. He'll pay attention to you if you seem like you are interested in what he has to say.

Everyone wants to feel like they are being paid attention to, so getting someone to pay attention to you is sometimes dependent on you coming across like you are interested in what they have to say. This is an example of the give and take approach and it does work quite often.

3. Being able to flirt with him in a way that attracts him right away will also get him to notice you.

This is something that always works if you really want to get a guy to pay attention to you because flirting can be so much fun and that is something that is pretty much universally attractive. Being able to flirt with a guy and really make him feel like there is an instant attraction between you and him is one of the better ways that you can attract a man's attention and keep that attention on you.

It doesn't have to be that hard to get a guy you like to notice you, though I do know that it sometimes seems that way. These 3 tips should give you a pretty good start on figuring out what it is that you need to do.

How to Find True Love With Your Darling Companion

Looking for true love should not be hard. There are simple life principles that love is all about, you only need to understand them. And the first rule of thumb you need to understand is that you are not alone in this quest; you have your darling companion with you. The thing is that we are often tempted to see true love as that feeling that falls over us right from the heaven and hits us in a split of a second. But that is only momentary infatuation. What makes for true love is commitment and honesty. Find out how to find true love next to your partner, and you will be able to live happily ever after.

Rule #1: Be sincere
A relationship cannot exist without honesty and trust. If you are constantly lying to your partner, if you feel the need to run and hide your true feelings instead of sharing them with your partner, then your relationship is in deep trouble. Your darling companion should know everything about you, should be the only person in the entire world that you would seek out for advice and for understanding. Without honesty, you will never be able to find true love.

Rule #2: Like your partner
It is not enough to love your partner, in order to find true love. That may seem like a confusing statement but it is not. True love can only be found by people that do not only love each other; it is found by those that like each other, that like being friends besides being lovers. If your darling companion is also your best friend, you are a very lucky person, because it means you have already found true love.

Rule #3: Establish common goals
For a relationship to work, it is important to set up common goals together. In the absence of common goals, any relationship is bound to fail. You need to have a serious talk with your darling companion and find out what are their hopes and dreams and how they expect to pursue them while being in a relationship with you. You should also do the same thing, as it is important for both of you to discover the common points in your plans. As they say, two heads are better than one, which is why you have better chances at succeeding if you get involved together in a common goal.

Rule #4: Share the same values
It is natural in a relationship to have different opinions. However, if your core values are too different, this can become a source of misunderstandings and recurrent fights. Your darling companion and you must share the same values, or the foundation of your relationship will be greatly shaken. Sooner or later, such important differences that neither of you can overcome will eat up at the romance and love that brought the two of you together. Such aspects must be addressed as soon as possible in your relationship, to give yourselves the best chances of finding true love.

Rule #5: Accept your darling companion for who they really are
Another important rule that can help you in the pursuit of true love and happiness is to accept and feel accepted. You cannot build a strong and true relationship if you are not capable of seeing and accepting your partner for who they really are. The vice versa is also a valid request, as only couples whose members accept and understand each other are really capable of building a great life together.

Rule #6: Remember to love yourself, too
True love cannot exist without self love. While this may sound like an egotistical point of view, if your darling companion really loves you, they would not want to be on the receiving end all the time. Actually, people that truly love their partners tend to become insecure and unfulfilled if they are not allowed to manifest their affection, and they are only required to let themselves loved. You need to love yourself, and have your own demands. It will make your partner happy if you let them be the cause of your happiness. It is as simple as that.

Rule #7: It is more than just love
True love is not just love in the romantic sense of the word; it can stand for many things that brought together make for the most incredible, amazing feeling that a human being can experience in their lifetime. True love stands for commitment, for enjoying time spent together, for wanting to share everything, for trust, and for caring. Your darling companion and you will live the true love you are after if you understand what true love really is.

Finding true love next to your loved one can be an easy and wonderful journey. It will not happen in a day, but it can last a lifetime.