When my wife and I were still going steady for a duration of one year and sixty five days, touching had always been part of our relationship, more so when we decided to get married. Don't get me wrong. When I say touching, I mean that when we were together going out for breakfast or dinner or lunch I always touched or held her hands or arms. For example, when we were riding on a public utility vehicle like the jeepney, or the taxi, or the bus; and even when we flew on an airplane, I would always hold her hands or arms. Also when we were just walking, we didn't leave any space or distance between us as my arm (whichever arm that is at which side of her body I was walking at with her) is above her shoulders with my palm clutching on her opposite shoulder. This position naturally brought our bodies to have touched each other on our sides (of course with our garments on). Our common friends saw us publicly on this mutual intimate demonstrative behaviour and described us as super sweet. Some even concluded that we were already in a state of "living-in" - that is living like married couples but outside of marriage.
Admittedly, there were times during our holding and touching in the extent described above that I got sexually stirred up but my mind always said, "Do I really love this woman to such an extent that it warrants my continuous holding and touching her?" And my answer to that question had always been a resounding yes. In reflection, how many men today would even bother to ask that question? And what value formation did I have to have become so serious in my approach to an exclusive relationship that even my holding and touching have to be warranted by love?
I believe that one must ask this question even before he holds and touches his partner (and vice versa) because without honestly being able to answer this question in the affirmative, that would never be a touch of love but a touch of lust. A touch of love is a very serious thing that brings you into an obstinate mindset, that would bring into effect a very strong declaration and commitment to bring your partner to the altar of God, and present yourself and her to God to make that solemn vow to love each other for better or for worse, for richer of for poorer; until death do you part. Without this obstinate mindset and commitment, your touches and your caresses are all but plain lust.
How many people touch and caress each other to an unrestraint extent and say I love you to each other but ended up emotionally shattered and devastated? I believe strongly that couples who have remained strong in their love for each other and wherein their marital relationship lasted for a lifetime; have seriously asked this very same question right from the very start of their relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend until they decided to get married. They knew and were convinced from the start that their exchanges of holding and touching of each other were touches of love and not touches of lust.
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