Are you struggling with Christian codependency? Are you confused about what it means to be powerless in your difficult relationships? This article will help you understand the importance of powerlessness in your relationships.
How much time and energy do you spend trying to change your difficult loved one? Whether it is praying, wishing, nagging, lecturing, explaining, begging, threatening, controlling, manipulating, or reacting? How much of your life energy is going toward the hope that he or she will change so that YOU can be okay?
The changes that you want are probably good changes and might make your loved one a better person and certainly more tolerable to you, but the problem is that you are powerless to make him or her change.
Powerless means "without power." No power. None, Zip, nadda. Plug the cord into the wall and you get nothing. The vacuum, radio, blender doesn't work - at all. Can you stand at the seashore and command the waves to stop? Can you ask the sun not to rise? No! You can easily see that but can you also see that you cannot change your spouse, parent, sibling, adult child, or anyone else and if you can't do it, why waste your life trying?
The energy expended on trying to change others is better spent on trying to change yourself. You do have power over yourself. You can choose to take care of yourself and to make decisions regarding boundaries that will improve your life. You can decide how much you will do for other people. You can control your responses to whatever situations you encounter.
God will not hold you accountable for your loved one's choices; He will hold you accountable for yours and you won't be able to use your loved one's problems as an excuse for your actions. You are responsible for your life and talents and what you do with it.
If all this sounds too hard, then purpose to put all the energy into being able to do these life-changing things for yourself instead of expending energy on forcing others to change. Embrace powerlessness over others and take back your power over your life!
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