Making the choice to end a relationship is difficult enough no matter what the circumstances. But we often make things much more difficult for ourselves than they have to be. As with anything in life, there are simple ways to end a relationship and there are much harder ways. This is intended to keep things simple.
There is, understandably, going to be a certain degree of remorse for the end of the relationship. But that doesn't mean you have to dwell on it! If the decision has been made to end things, then stick with it. Don't linger on with what might have been; what could have been or what should have been. That represents thinking in the past. Focus your attention now on the future.
The end of every relationship signals two things:
- a chance to rediscover your life, and
- a chance to learn from the experience.
You have to be willing to move on with your life and you have to be willing to gain knowledge from what has happened... so that there is less of a possibility you will repeat the experience.
It is also really very important to release your emotions. A breakup evokes a multitude of emotions:
- anger,
- frustration,
- uncertainty,
- remorse,
- fear,
- anxiety, and many, many more.
Keeping these feelings bottled up inside you is not just bad, it's unhealthy. You need to be able to release them... so that you can begin the healing process and, most of all, gain closure.
Once the decision has been made to call it quits, that should also be the end of assessing blame. At that point, it doesn't matter who should have done what, and it doesn't matter who was more to blame. What matters is for you to allow the issue to be closed and settled... once and for all.
Most importantly in the process is to take this opportunity to restart your life. Don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself or wondering what you could have done differently. It doesn't matter. You now have the chance to make a fresh start and, over time, meet someone new who will be more of a match and who you should be with.
Make sure to devote plenty of time to close friends who can offer you the support and inspiration you need. Their bond will help you to realize you do not have to go through this crisis alone and that you are valued. You may have lost one person from your life, but there are plenty of other people who truly care about you, and who are there to help you.
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